


My Baby Wrote Me A Letter

by CassondraWinchester, lotrspnfangirl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha Dean, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - High School, Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Angst, Bad Parenting, Bonding, Boyfriends, Brother Feels, Brotherly Bonding, Child Abuse, Demon Dean, Drawing, Fluff, Graduation, Interspecies Romance, Letters, Love Letters, M/M, Mating Bites, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Omega Castiel, Pictures, Poetry, Secret Relationship, Sexting, Song Lyrics, Speciesism, Teen Angst, Teen Romance, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2017-08-25
Packaged: 2018-11-17 06:10:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 61,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11269572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CassondraWinchester/pseuds/CassondraWinchester, https://archiveofourown.org/users/lotrspnfangirl/pseuds/lotrspnfangirl
Summary: Stuck in a town that is far from accepting of inter-species couples, Alpha Demon Dean Winchester and Angel Omega Castiel Novak find themselves in a whirlwind romance that they are forced to keep hidden until they can escape their small town. They beat the prejudice by keeping a secret notebook for correspondence and sneak stolen moments in the back of the library. June, and graduation, can not come fast enough.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Graphics for My Baby Wrote Me A Letter](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11270529) by [lotrspnfangirlgraphics (lotrspnfangirl)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lotrspnfangirl/pseuds/lotrspnfangirlgraphics). 



> Huge shout out to Islanderbib83 for being our cheerleader and Alpha reading and to the lovely Tanyk for beta'ing this for us and catching our slip-ups! You two are awesome ♥ All art is created by lotrspnfangirlgraphics.
> 
> Written entirely in letters and text, Cassondra was the Castiel to Dani's Dean! Let me tell you, fanfiction -- the way to sext with your best friend and not have it be weird. We had a blast with this and we hope you guys enjoy it! There is no set schedule for posting, thus far, but we have a good 30k written (which, omg.)
> 
>  
> 
>   
> 

 

Puberty, or the period during which adolescents reach sexual maturity and become capable of reproduction, can be a scary and wonderful experience for both Alphas and Omegas. Young bodies rapidly start changing between the ages of eleven to thirteen (pre-pubescent), reaching full sexual maturity between fourteen to sixteen years of age. 

There are many changes for primary genders individually, such as breast growth and ovulation in females and voice changes and hair growth for males. This will be explained in further detail in Chapter Three. 

For an Alpha, this means the growth and formation of a knot. Male Alphas gain a thicker erectile tissue at the base of the penis that engorges during an orgasm (Fig. 2.1). Female Alphas gain a thicker ring of vaginal tissue that engorges in the same manner (Fig. 2.2). The knot is mean to lock two partners together to increase the chance of conception. 

An Omega’s bartholin glands become active in slick production, a clear, viscous fluid that aids in natural lubrication for intercourse. These glands are located at the cervical opening and lowers resistance and friction for an Alpha knot. For Male Omegas, the distal sigmoid valve closes the colon and allows passage of sperm to the cervix.

 


	2. Chapter One

Wednesday  
October 3rd, 2007

Dear Zeppelin,

I’m still not sure how I feel about this whole notebook thing. I get why you came up with the idea, seeing as how it’s the only way we can communicate during school hours. I guess I’m worried about one of us being caught with it You and I both comprehend how bad that could be. I know that's why you had us pick out the ‘code names’ for each other, but still, there's a chance it could happen. But I got to admit my heart skipped a beat when I opened up my locker after first period and saw the black five star notebook, with it’s empty pages just waiting to be filled with sentiments as forbidden as our love.

Your scent was on it, and it made me think of the first day we met, well the first day we actually spoke to each other. I had noticed you way before that day. I mean, how could I not have? You had this charisma about you, pure Alpha but without acting better than everyone else. It drew my attention to you every time we were in the same room. Your eyes, your smile, your laugh, made my insides melt, yet I always kept my distance. Because I shouldn’t have felt like that, you shouldn’t have made me feel like that. But the day we met, the day you said was fate. God that day changed my life. You changed my life, my sweet, strong Alpha.

I remember standing by my locker after the poetry club had let out, I was the last one to leave, and here you came sauntering down the hallway after serving two hours of after school detention. No big surprise there, my troublemaker. When you walked past me and I caught your scent for the first time, the enticing smell of sandalwood and leather, the scent that made my inner Omega scream, “My mate!”… it made me woozy, as you well know seeing as how when my knees buckled you caught me and kept me from face planting right there in the hallway. That was the first time I saw your face up close and I remember thinking, God his eyes really are that green. Then I noticed your freckles and I wanted so badly to reach up and touch them, count them, kiss each and every one of them. What silly thoughts to be having when I had just effectively made a fool of myself in front of my Alpha. Then you smiled at me, one of those smiles that made my insides turn to goo, and you told me we needed to sit down before your legs gave out and we both ended up sprawled out on the floor.

So there we were, an unlikely pair sitting side by side on the floor, leaned up against the lockers getting to know one another. You were so shy and that shocked me. I had never seen you anything but confident and so sure of yourself, but it was cute seeing that side of you. Then you asked me if you could scent me properly. I couldn’t believe that, you, an Alpha, was asking permission from an Omega when you had every right to just do it. I can still remember how my heart raced as I tilted my head and bared my throat for you. I remember the shiver that ran through my body as your nose pressed against my mating gland, and the whine that spilled past my lips when you took a deep breath and whispered, “my mate, my Omega” into my ear. Those words, that day, turned my world upside down.

I know things won’t be easy for us, but like Theodore Roosevelt said, “Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, and difficulty… I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well.”

I’m willing to to fight for you, for us, because you're worth it. What we have is worth it.

Well, I’ve just noticed the bell is getting ready to ring and I have spent the entirety of second period writing you this note. I hope I didn’t miss anything important. So, I’m going to stop here and I hope to hear back from you soon.

Love Always, your mate, your Omega,  
Mr. Blue Sky

P.S. Really? You couldn’t come up with a better nickname for me? The one I gave you was cool!

 

Wednesday  
October 3rd, 2007

Dear Mr. Blue Sky,

I could always call you my sexy-as-fuck-Omega, but somehow I don’t think you would like that any better. Not that it’s not 100% true, because it totally is, but, well, you know.

I’m glad seeing this notebook made you happy. I was pretty excited to get to my locker after third period to see if you’d been able to write back to me yet. Now I’m spending lunch writing to you. See? I’ve given up food for you! (I totally scarfed down my sandwich, don’t worry) I wish we had the same lunch period… not that we could actually sit together or anything, but I would totally be that ~~demon~~ creeper that stared at you across the cafeteria for forty-five minutes.

Is that endearing? Or creepy?

Probably both.

Blue Sky, man, you’re totally going to be better at this than I am. Words… feelings, all of that, isn’t my strong suit. I’m more of a clap on the back, hug it out kinda guy. But I’m going to try. You’re important to me, and if this is the way we have to communicate for now? I’m gonna do my damndest to make it happen.

Just… bear with me, okay?

I remember that day, too. I think about it a lot, actually. It was the first, and last time, we had time to be together. I hope we get a moment like that again soon… cause I miss just sitting with you and having you in my arms. It almost makes me want to get detention every Wednesday so I can make sure I’ll be around on your Poetry days. Do you think anyone would catch on? Pretty sure my dad will rip me a new one if I get any more detentions but… if that means spending a few hours with you? I would do it in a heartbeat.

 ~~… there’s both demons and angels in your poetry club thing, right? Cause otherwise, we totally just gave ourselves away and if we fucked this up before we even got started?~~ Never mind, I fixed it. Ignore that. Yeah, okay, anyways...

So, detention? Just say the word and I’ll be there.

And for the record? Of course I asked your permission first. And if any Alpha around here does something to you that you don’t like and didn’t ask first? You better tell me. And I mean that in a please tell me, not a demand tell me, because no one fucks with my Omega. Everyone, Alpha, Omega, Angel, Demon, Elder, Kid, anyone and everyone should be asking your permission, ~~Cas~~ Mr. Blue Sky You’re a person, a damn sexy, smart, and beautiful person, and no one gets to do anything to you that you don’t want. Okay? Having someone treat you with respect shouldn’t be shocking and it pisses me off that it was. Not at you, Baby. I’m not mad at you. I’m just mad that you’ve been treated that way so much that you actually believed someone could be above asking you permission. Especially me.

Sorry about the crinkles. It started to rain outside so I had to run in before the pages got wet and stuff. The rain reminded me of you, of course. Though the cold, fall rain has nothing on your summer rain scent.

I ~~miss you~~ wish I could be with you now…

I’ll see you in 8th period. Maybe I’ll accidentally drop my pencil so I can see you bend over to pick it up.

Your Alpha,  
Zeppelin

 

Friday  
October 5th, 2007

Dear Zeppelin,

Sorry I couldn’t write back yesterday. I’m sure you noticed I wasn’t in school. Well uh, God... I’m just writing this and I’m still embarrassed. I couldn’t imagine having this conversation face to face. Okay, here goes…

I started my cycle early and I went into heat. I took my blocker but it took a day to stop it. So I had to suffer through a full day of my heat and let me tell you, it sucked. But I did think of you the entire time, while I… well, I will just let you use you imagination. ;)

But I’m always on time, never late or early. I think us scent bonding caused it to start early. I also think my body is craving you, since we haven’t been together since that day... My inner Omega needs its Alpha. And as opposed as I am to you getting in trouble, were you serious about getting detention on Wednesday so we could spend a couple of hours together? I need to see you again, to touch you, to scent you. I need my Alpha.

Sorry to cut this short but Adler is giving me funny looks. I’m pretty sure he's knows I’m fuckin’ off and not taking notes.

Love Always, your mate, your Omega,  
Mr. Blue Sky

P.S. My sexy-as-fuck-Omega? Uh, no thank you, I will stick to Mr. Blue Sky

 

Friday  
October 5th, 2007

 ~~My sexy-as-fuck-Omega~~ Mr. Blue Sky,

I can not believe you left this in my locker on a Friday afternoon and I have to wait until MONDAY to talk to you.

Baby, I’m so sorry that happened to you… Not gonna lie, I know shit-all about heats. I kind of ~~giggled~~ paid like, no attention throughout that semester when we learned about it. Talking about dicks and butts and knots and slick and… Yeah, I spent most of the time laughing and drawing dicks on my notes. So, seeing as I know nothing about heats other than the basics… Is there anything I can do to help? I mean, other than the obvious, which I unfortunately can’t right now. Would my scent have helped you or made it worse? Are you feeling better today? If you didn’t take your blocker before it happened, does that mean you’re going to be uncomfortable all weekend? God, I wish I could talk to you and make sure you’re okay and see for myself.

So, yes. I am going to get detention for Wednesday. I’m not sure what I’ll do yet… ~~I bet I could provoke that dipshit Allistair into a fight or something~~ I’m not gonna say it just in case this gets misplaced or whatever, but I’ll think of something. I’ll leave you a note outside of poetry so you know where to meet me, we probably shouldn’t meet up in the middle of the hallway…

~~Fuck, I miss you so fucki~~

Sunday  
October 7th, 2007

Mr. Sexy Blue Sky (how’s that?!)

Sorry about the last entry… letter? Note? What even are these? Anyways, Dad came home and wasn’t happy… Had some shit happen today at the garage and he was in a pretty foul mood. ~~Sammy~~ my brother and I tried to cheer him up as best as we could but, you know. Johnny Walker does it better…

Yeah.

Anyways, I’m pretty excited for school tomorrow. Me. Excited for school. What the hell are you doing to me, my Omega? I picked out my clothes and shit already like a chick. I think you’re making me crazy. Would you still like me if I was crazy? I don’t mean like… off my fucking rocker, shaking on the floor and drooling on myself crazy, though cause… dude, no. If I’m that kinda crazy you totally have my permission to run as far and fast as you can before I like, eat my arm or something.

 ~~Samm-~~ My brother, Luke Skywalker, and I watched some fucked up shit on TNT when Dad was busy. I blame that entirely for the paragraph above. In fact, just, don’t even read it. Pretend it doesn’t exist. You’re lucky I wrote on the back of your page or else I would’ve ripped this out and started all over already…

So, not to like, go back to the thing that makes you uncomfortable but… do you think your heats are going to be all messed up now because of me?

Nine hours until I get to see you.

That’s probably the cheesiest thing I’ve thought in a long time.

 ~~Lo~~  
Your Alpha,  
Zeppelin

 

 

Monday  
October 8th, 2007

Check the top of your locker. Left you something.

See you in 8th.

 

Tuesday  
October 9th, 2007

Dear Zeppelin, my sweet Alpha,

I loved the gift, though I’m going to miss seeing you in it. The light green flannel really brought out your eyes. It smells like you. I wish I could wear it all the time but for obvious reasons I can’t. I did wear it all night once I made it home, even slept with it. Your scent would have eased my heat, I’m glad I have this in case it happens again. I’m really hoping it doesn’t, though... It was not pleasant. Unfortunately, yeah, my heats will be worse now my body knows it has an Alpha. It will feel 100 times more intense, but we will figure that out when it comes time for me to go through a full heat. I’m feeling better, by the way. Thank you for asking. I was achy for a few days, but it's all better now.

I wish I could have talked to you over the weekend, too. How do you feel about exchanging cell phone numbers? I mean, if your dad doesn’t police who you talk to. I know my parents never check mine. They’re too busy with my other siblings, my Alpha brothers. I kinda just fly under their radar. So yeah, if you want to exchange numbers so we can text. Just let me know.

Why am I not surprised that you didn’t pay attention in the semester of Phys Ed when they discussed heats and instead drew dicks on your notes? Seriously, Zeppelin? Well... if you want to know anything, even though it’s embarrassing as hell to talk about, feel free to ask. You’re my mate, after all. I should be able to talk to you about anything.

And I would call these letters back and forth love notes. Yeah, yeah, I know you're going to say “that’s cheesy,” but my sweet Alpha, that's what they are. I’m sorry your dad was in a foul mood on Friday and that you couldn’t cheer him up, but just so you know, you could always cheer me up, no matter what. I would never leave you, even if you were bat shit crazy. You are my Alpha, my mate. There is no one I would ever want more than you. No one. It will always and only be you. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow. Maybe this time you’ll give me a kiss? You know, if you want.

Love Always, your mate, your Omega,  
Mr. Blue Sky

P.S. I really hope you want to kiss me, because I really wanna kiss you.

 

Wednesday  
October 10th, 2007

Dear Mr. Blue Sky,

Heck yes I want to kiss you. Are you kidding? I saw you walking in today with your brothers from the bus and I wanted to run up to you and kiss you right then and there. It took quite a bit of restraint to stay put where I was, though I’ll admit I watched you the entire time you were walking into the building. Does that make me creepy? I suppose it doesn’t matter since you said you would stay with me no matter what.

I would stay with you, too, ~~Ca-~~ Blue Sky, even if you were a drooling, slobbering mess that was trying to eat his own arm. See? I can be romantic.

I already scored my detention for today, and I didn’t even have to do anything. I’m actually a little pissed off about it -- it’s only the fact that it means I definitely get to see you that’s making me not go off on them. Do you remember that family genealogy paper I was telling you about that first day in the hallway? Well, I did what you said and I actually found out a lot about my mom and her family. However, fucking Alder ‘lost’ my paper and waited until the day it was late to tell me so I couldn’t reprint, and since I’d already had a warning in that class I get detention for two weeks. Two. Fucking. Weeks.

At least that ~~garent -- garun-- garuntees~~ guarantees two Wednesdays that I’ll get to see your handsome face. All in all, I’d say that’s worth it.

And Baby, just let me know when you need a new shirt okay? My manly musk is yours for the taking. Haha. Hah. I crack myself up. But no, really, if you’re coming up on your heat and need something fresher, I’ll get you anything you need, especially if that helps you. Plus, just thinking of you going to bed wrapped up in my clothes is pretty damn close to picturing you going to bed wrapped up with me. That’s an image for the spank bank.

I can not believe I just wrote that.

Seriously. I’m sorry. Except I’m not. Mostly.

Anyways.

Um. Right. So… Jesus. Now I’m thinking about things I shouldn’t be thinking about in English.

See you this afternoon Baby, and you can bet your fine ass I’ll be kissing you.

Again, with the ass. Jesus.

Your ~~apparently super sexually frustrated and ridiculously inappropriately horny~~ Alpha,  
Zeppelin

 

Thursday  
October 11th, 2007

Dear Zeppelin,

Wow, just wow. Yesterday was incredible. Scenting you, touching you, kissing you. Your kisses reminded me of a poem I heard last week in my Poetry Club (yeah, I know, I’m a big nerd, blah, blah, blah.) But here it is...

 

Your lips were supposed to taste  
like forbidden fruit.  
Yet, every breath exchanged  
between our urgent mouths  
tasted limitless.

Boundary lines melted  
the moment your ardent skin pleaded  
with mine to say yes.  
“Yes” was the only reply  
my flesh could utter.  
x

When I shut my eyes I’m back in the library with you, hidden behind the stacks of books trying to stay as quiet as we possibly can. My back is pressed against the shelves and the hard line of your body is pressed against me. It felt amazing, you felt amazing. Your mouth warm and wet against mine, the way our tongues tangled together, the way you threaded your fingers through my hair and scratched my scalp gently. It made my inner Omega want to purr. The way you panted against my lips and kissed along my bared throat. The feel of your wet mouth and tongue on my mating gland drove me wild, especially when you teasingly scraped your teeth along it. The way the kisses quickly turned needy and heated and how you held me tight as you rutted against me. I could feel your arousal, you know? I could smell it, and it was intoxicating. I wanted so, so much more in that moment. I wanted you, I wanted all of you, my strong Alpha.

I had to change my clothes as soon as I got home; I reeked of slick and arousal. I’ve never felt like that before, been turned on like that. I want to do it again, I want to do it every single day. Now that I have tasted you, felt you, I think it will take a lot more than just a shirt that smells like your ‘manly musk’ to get me through my next heat. I’m gonna need you, Alpha, all of you, if you know what I mean.

As soon as I went home last night I put on your shirt so I could be surrounded by your scent and you don’t even want to know what I did while wearing it… Or maybe you do want to know. Would you like to know, my sweet, sexy Alpha? Hmm? Would you like details for, what was it you called it? Oh yeah, your spank bank.

Okay, I need to stop writing now. Everyone in my Art History class is starting to stare at me. I’m pretty sure everyone in here can scent my arousal.

Love Always, your mate, your Omega,  
Mr. Blue Sky

P.S. I hope this letter was not too… inappropriate? Oh, and my phone number is 555-3876, you know, in case you ever want to text me on a lonely night.

 

Thursday  
October 11th, 2007

Mr. Naughty Blue Sky,

I am not nearly as poetic as you. I couldn’t even begin to recount how damn good and perfect it felt to be pressed up against you, surrounded by your sweet scent. Those old library books have got nothing on your scent -- fresh summer rain and the old books. What did you call it? Parchment? I want to drink you in, ~~Cas~~ Blue Sky.

Your poem is perfect, and like I said, I don’t have anything that fancy… but Trent Reznor had a few words I might steal…

 

(Help Me) I broke apart my insides  
(Help Me) I’ve got no soul to sell  
(Help Me) The only thing that works for me  
Help me get away from myself  
I want to fuck you like an animal  
I want to feel you from the inside  
I want to fuck you like an animal  
My whole existence if flawed  
You get me closer to God.

I want you. I’ve always wanted you. From the moment I laid eyes on you, rushing out into that hallway, your hair a freaking mess because you’d been yanking on it all damn poetry class because you were too damn nervous to share your own poems, because talking in front of class always makes you nervous as hell. Your lips were pink from where you bit them and when you looked at me, I fucking knew.

 

You can have my isolation  
You can have the hate that it brings  
You can have my absence of faith  
You can have my everything  
(Help Me) tear down my reason  
(Help Me) It’s your sex I can smell  
(Help Me) You make me perfect  
Help me become somebody else

No one knows me, not like you, and I feel like we have so much to learn about each other. These past three weeks have been nothing in the grand scheme of things. We have our entire lives ahead of us, I know that we do. I’ve never believed in this, I never thought I would find someone like you. I imagined I’d settle down, sure, maybe when I was older with someone who could stand me but this… the way that you… ~~this feeling inside of my chest that’s just screaming to be~~

 

I want to fuck you like an animal  
I want to feel you from the inside  
I want to fuck you like an animal  
My whole existence if flawed  
You get me closer to God.  
Through every forest above the trees  
Within my stomach scraped off my knees  
I drink the honey inside your hive

I have never needed anyone. My mom ~~left~~ died when I was little. Not many people know. Dad doesn’t tell them. But she did and I watched it happen and I had ~~Sam~~ Skywalker with me as I watched everything around me, everything I knew, come apart and burn -- my family, my home, my father’s sanity -- and I promised myself that I would never, I would never again need anyone.

You are the reason I stay alive.

[x](https://vimeo.com/3554226)

10/13 8:42AM Dean → Cas  
Hey Cas, it’s Dean.

10/13 8:45AM Cas →Dean  
Hello Dean, it's good to hear from you.

10/13 8:48AM Dean → Cas  
Morning baby :)

10/13 8:49AM Dean → Cas  
I know you took the notebook for the weekend… sorry my last “love letter” like you call ‘em got a bit… heavy? I don’t know where that came from.

10/13 8:52AM Cas →Dean  
Don’t apologize Dean. I’m glad you opened up to me. When you feel more comfortable I would like to know the whole story, about your family, about your brother ‘Skywalker’ who knows maybe you will eventually feel comfortable enough to tell me his real name.

10/13 8:57AM Dean → Cas  
Yeah, I will. You’re allowed to know everything about me. You’re my Omega. And… my brother is Sammy or Sam. I think he’s in your poetry club, actually. You’re both huge nerds.

10/13 8:58AM Dean → Cas  
I just… he goes to school with us and if something comes out or someone finds the book… I don’t want him connected to it. Can we still call him Skywalker?

10/13 9:00AM Cas →Dean  
Of course we can, I understand. And yes, I know Sam, he is very smart. Though he did say his older brother was a huge jerk. Surely he wasn’t talking about you. Do you have another brother?

10/13 9:01AM Dean → Cas  
Yeah, well, he’s a bitch.

10/13 9:02AM Dean → Cas  
If that was last week? He’s totally lying. I had nothing to do with what happened to his shampoo.

10/13 9:03AM Dean → Cas  
I am INNOCENT.

10/13 9:05AM Dean → Cas  
Any plans for this weekend baby?

10/13 9:08AM Cas →Dean  
I’m sure you are innocent Dean. And no I have no plans this weekend other than reading and maybe getting caught up on some schoolwork. What about you?

10/13 9:09AM Dean → Cas  
Avoiding anything school related at all costs?

10/13 9:13AM Dean → Cas  
Does your family ever do anything on the weekends? I know you said you had a lot of brothers but…

10/13 9:15AM Cas →Dean  
Dad usually does something with my brothers. Takes them to ballgames and various other ‘manly’ things before going out to eat. Mom does her own thing, she has clubs and activities she does with her friends on the weekends. Me, I usually spend the weekends home alone.

10/13 9:17AM Dean → Cas  
Okay I am both ridiculously excited over that last sentence and extremely pissed off.

10/13 9:18AM Dean → Cas  
Although I’m kinda afraid of the answer… Your dad doesn’t take you to ball games and stuff too? I mean, he does realize you’re his son, too, right?

10/13 9:21AM Cas →Dean  
Hmm already thinking of sneaking in through my bedroom window one Saturday afternoon, are you, Alpha? LOL. And yeah, he realizes I’m his son too. His Omega son. I’ve got no business at games and doing the things they do, or at least so he says. It’s okay, I’m use to it.

10/13 9:24AM Dean → Cas  
  
Here’s SEXY!

10/13 9:26AM Dean → Cas  
Baby, that’s fucked up. I’m really sorry… Sammy is supposed to present this year but Dad, despite his other issues, wouldn’t care what secondary gender he was. I’m sorry your parents don’t share that view.

10/13 9:27AM Dean → Cas  
Never thought I would ever say something that freaking positive about my dad.

10/13 9:32AM Dean → Cas  
Seriously though, Cas… you’re amazing. And it’s 100% your family’s issue and loss that they don’t see it. You’re smart and funny and sexy as all hell and I would kill to get to spend a freaking weekend doing stupid shit like going to a ball game or hiking or golfing, even fucking shopping, as long as I got to be with you.

10/13 9:38AM Cas →Dean  
Love the Dr. Who gif, but surely Dean you would have more grace than that climbing through my window right? And thank you seriously for all the kind things you said. You know there are still times I hate the way I presented... or there were until I met you and knew you were my mate. I know if I had presented any other way it would not have worked out like that. And now? I can’t imagine you not being my mate, my Alpha, and if that means taking shit from my family? So be it. I won’t be here forever, but forever is exactly how long I plan on being with you.

10/13 9:38AM Dean → Cas  
Forever baby, I promise.

10/13 9:59AM Dean → Cas  
Sorry, needed to eat something. And you’re right -- I would knock on the front door and tell whoever wanted to stand in my way to fuck off because I have a mate to make happy! Cause, that's all I want Cas. I just wanna make you happy.

10/13 10:04AM Cas →Dean  
You do, Dean. You make me very happy… Especially when you are kissing me. ;)

10/13 10:05AM Dean → Cas  
Lmao! I wish I could be kissing you right now.

10/13 10:08AM Cas →Dean  
I have a king size bed, Dean. Do you know all the things we could do in this bed? 10/13 10:09AM Dean → Cas I am assuming you’re not talking about making the biggest, bestest, pillowiest blanket fort EVER.

10/13 10:10AM Dean → Cas  
I was deprived as a child.

10/13 10:10AM Dean → Cas  
Okay, not really, but I never made enough forts. Cause, there’s no such thing.

10/13 10:11AM Dean → Cas  
Right. Forts do not equal sexy. Um, bed. Large bed. Fuck, Cas, I could think of a LOT of things I would like to do you in a bed.

10/13 10:11AM Dean → Cas  
Or in a pillow fort.

10/13 10:15AM Cas →Dean  
I would love to make a pillow fort with you Dean. It would be like our very own nest. And you know what mates like to do inside their nests, don’t you? That is assuming you paid attention in class.

10/13 10:16AM Dean → Cas  
I’m a real fast learner. Especially if it has anything to do with getting you naked inside of a giant, badass pillow fort.

10/13 10:17AM Cas →Dean  
Wow Dean it’s hard to tell if you're more excited over the prospect of a pillow fort or getting me naked… kinda don’t know what to think of that.

10/13 10:18AM Dean → Cas  
Cas… I would give up every damn pillow fort in the world to get a chance to see you and touch you and taste you.

10/13 10:20AM Cas →Dean  
Hmm, must be love then. LOL. I would love for you to touch me Dean to run your hands all over my body to touch me places no one else ever has or will, just you baby, my Alpha. It will only ever be you. I want to touch you too Dean so bad. I have thought about it a lot since that day in the library. When I felt the hard press of your cock against my thigh. What I wouldn’t give to touch it, taste it, feel your knot swell in my hand, mouth or… you know.

10/13 10:21AM Dean → Cas  


10/13 10:22AM Dean → Cas  
Not good with words, Cas. But you’re driving me mad. Want you so fucking bad.

10/13 10:26AM Cas →Dean  
Holy shit Dean! That picture. Is that you?

10/13 10:27AM Dean → Cas  
… too much?

10/13 10:28AM Cas →Dean  
God no, not at all. You’re so big though. Are we sure it will fit?

10/13 10:29AM Dean → Cas  
You sure know how to make an Alpha blush! From the little I did gather from that class, we were basically made for each other. It will fit.

10/13 10:30AM Dean → Cas  
I would never hurt you baby.

10/13 10:31AM Cas →Dean  
You have no idea the things that picture is doing to me. This may be TMI but I’m so wet Dean.

10/13 10:32AM Dean → Cas  
Fuck, baby. Are you touching yourself?

10/13 10:35AM Cas →Dean  
Yes Alpha. The moment you said that pic was of you. I couldn’t help myself. My hole felt so empty and wet and wanting you.

10/13 10:38AM Dean → Cas  
Are you pretending that it’s me, Omega? Are you pumping your fingers inside of yourself, wishing they were mine? I wish they were mine. I want to feel how dripping wet I can make you, feel how hot and tight you are around my fingers. Do you like that, Cas? Do you like my fingers inside of you?

10/13 10:40AM Cas →Dean  
God yes Dean, three fingers and I wish they were yours so bad. I want them to be yours. I'm soaked, the bed is soaked and I want more. I want your cock your knot. Would you knot me Alpha? God I want to feel it swell inside me pulse as you fill me full of come.

10/13 10:43AM Dean → Cas  
Fuck, Cas. You would feel so fucking good around me. You’re so perfect, my Omega. I would press you into the mattress and knot you so good, make you scream out my name as you come on my cock. Think you could come untouched, Cas? With just my fingers, then my knot in your ass? I bet you could.

10/13 10:45AM Cas →Dean  
God yes Dean I would be a perfect Omega for you and come completely untouched. Just for my Alpha. I’m so wet Dean, you know what I want? I want you to taste me Dean. I want you to lick up all my slick. Feel your tongue pressed against my rim, drinking me. I want you Alpha, need you. Are you touching yourself too Dean? I want you to come with me.

10/13 10:47AM Dean → Cas  
God, I bet you taste so good. Your mouth is intoxicating, I can’t imagine the rest of you. I would drown in you, Cas, happily. Take everything you have to give. I am touching myself, pretending that it’s your body I’m sinking into instead of my fist.

10/13 10:50AM Cas →Dean  


10/13 10:52AM Cas →Dean  
See Alpha, see how wet I am for you. I’m ready for you, for your knot. I’m so soaked I bet your dick would just slide in. God yes, I want that, want you. I want to present for you. I want you to press me into the mattress grab my hips and pound into me hard and fast Alpha until your knot swells and you pump my ass full.

10/13 10:53AM Dean → Cas  
Fuck, Cas. I can’t take it. I’m calling you. I need to hear you when you come.

 

Sunday  
October 14th, 2007

My sweet Alpha Zeppelin,

It’s almost midnight and I can’t sleep. I can’t stop thinking about you, about yesterday morning. A shiver runs down my spine every time I think of your voice when you called me. The way you described in detail every single thing you would do to me if you had been here, the way you panted and moaned my name when you came. God I wish you had been here. That was the highlight of my weekend, the only good thing that happened to me. I wish we could have talked today but I understand you had plans with Skywalker. You're a great big brother.

My father took my brothers to a movie today, some blood and guts action movie that I actually wanted to see. I remembered what we had talked about yesterday, about how I was his son, too, so I told him I wanted to go. You know what he did, Zeppelin? He laughed in my face, said it was the type of movie an Omega can’t see. I lost my temper and told him I liked action movies too, and there's nothing wrong with an Omega wanting to see a movie like that. I shouldn’t have talked back. He had to ‘put me in my place,’ as he calls it. Omega’s shouldn’t talk back, especially to an Alpha.

Omega’s can’t do this. Omega’s shouldn’t do that. I’m sick of it! I’m no different than my brothers. God forbid I wanted to spend time with them, and my father. I guess I’m not welcome because I’m not an Alpha. I’m not good enough for my father to want to spend time with. I let him down because my secondary gender is ‘weaker’ in the eyes of most, and definitely in his eyes.

When my mother came home she just shook her head at me and said, “When will you learn? Why do you make him punish you?”

Make him? That’s rich! I just wanted to be included for once, and instead I was ‘put in my place’ like a bad Omega. Hell, it wasn’t the first time, and I’m sure it won’t be the last. Maybe something in me is wrong? Maybe I’m a defective Omega. He says I’m too strong-willed and that no Alpha will put up with that, and he’s doing me a favor by correcting my behavior now. Will you still want me if I’m broken?

I wrote something tonight. I don’t know if I will share it with the Poetry Club but I want to share it with you…

 

“I feel like shredding my surface into ribbons. Tearing myself apart piece by wretched piece. Searching for an answer, any answer, as to why I feel this hollow. Maybe my insides are mangled. Maybe something is omitted beneath my chest. Who knows if I'll ever know, But one things for certain, I'm broken.”

Okay, it’s after midnight now and that’s enough feeling sorry for myself. I’m going to try and get some sleep. I’m glad tomorrow is Monday. I know I can’t talk to you and we won’t get the chance to talk again until Wednesday, but God I can’t wait to see you. I know just seeing you, my Alpha, my mate, will make me feel better.

Love Always, your mate, your Omega,  
Mr. Blue Sky

P.S. Will you smile for me? Just smile when you see me looking your way. I love your smile, it always brightens my day.

 

Monday  
October 14th, 2007

Baby,

I’m so sorry I hauled you off like that. I know you were with your friends, and I know you probably had to answer some questions afterwards, but when I saw what your dad did to you? I saw fucking red ~~and I wanted to kill him ~~and I had to make sure for myself that you were okay. Manhandling you into the bathroom probably wasn’t the best but, and I hate that I am saying this, maybe you will have an excuse for that black eye and people will think we were just fighting. You already said you weren’t going to turn your dad in, EVEN THOUGH YOU SHOULD.~~~~

I want to rip him apart for hurting you. How dare he hit you at all, but hard enough to bruise? I’ve been whacked by my dad a few times, ~~Sammy~~ Skywalker too, but he’s never…

I am so sorry, baby. I am so sorry this happened. And it hurts me to hear you resigned to the fact that it’s going to happen again. I hate that. I hate that so much. I want-

I don’t know too much about poetry, but that was beautiful and really fucking sad. ~~Cas~~ Blue Sky, listen to me -- you are not broken. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. I love that you have a sharp mind, that you’re unafraid to stand up for yourself and speak your mind. You’ve put me in my place a few times when I’m wrong and you do it in a way that makes me feel like even though I was wrong, I’m not stupid and I’m not worthless. I don’t know how you act at home, but I can guarantee that it’s not YOU. ~~I love you~~ I don’t want you to be any different than you are. You’re perfect the way you are.

Baby, you’re the strongest person that I know. Alphas are pig headed and rash, but that doesn’t make them stronger. Look around us. Do you think they would be anywhere they are without Omegas at their side? Omegas are the brain and the brawn all wrapped up in a damn sexy package without coming across as conceited. You, my beautiful mate, are fucking everything.

Do not listen to your father. Whatever prejudices he has? They’re a damn shame, because I can only imagine how he treats your mom, too. And I wish I could do something about it, but I can’t. Not yet.

June, Blue Sky. You have to hold out until June and then we can get out of this stupid small town and I will take you anywhere. I know there are other cities that are more accepting of inter- ~~special - specieal - speciesal-~~ species couples and I will take you there. I will hold your hand as we walk down the street, kiss you in front of every damn storefront, and take you home at night to OUR place without anyone having a damn thing to say about one of us being a demon and one of us being an angel.

We’re gonna get out of Kansas, baby. And I will show you every damn day how wrong your father is and how much you are not broken. You’re beautiful and perfect and make me so damn happy.

 ~~Love~~  
I’m yours, always.  
Zeppelin


	3. Chapter Two

11/10 12:01PM Cas →Dean  
Whatcha doing?

11/10 12:05PM Dean → Cas  
Eating pizza. Sammy got gross green shit on it

11/10 12:06PM Dean → Cas  


11/10 12:07PM Cas →Dean   
LOL. That ‘gross green shit’ is called spinach, Dean and it's very good, and good for you. You want to be a big strong Alpha, don't ya? So quit bitchin’ and eat your spinach.

11/10 12:07PM Dean → Cas   
Yeah, yeah, yeah…

11/10 12:08PM Dean → Cas   
At least he got me bacon on it.

11/10 12:08PM Dean → Cas   
What are you up to Cas?

11/10 12:10PM Cas →Dean   
Research… And before you roll your eyes and call me a ‘nerd’ it’s the fun kind. I’m researching colleges in areas that are inter-species couple friendly.

11/10 12:11PM Dean → Cas   
I guess that is acceptable research. You know I’ll go to any city you want to go to college in.

11/10 12:12PM Cas →Dean   
How do you feel about California, Dean?

11/10 12:13PM Dean → Cas   
I think seeing you walking around half naked on the beach for the next few years of our life sounds AWESOME

11/10 12:15PM Cas →Dean   
*Rolls Eyes* of course your dirty mind automatically went there. I was thinking college-wise Dean. What do you think of the colleges in California?

11/10 12:17PM Dean → Cas   
Oh, I mean, I think if there’s one you really like and has what you wanna go for than that’s perfect. I don’t want you to compromise your college just so we can be together. We can be together ANY where. We’ll make it happen.

11/10 12:20PM Cas →Dean   
You’re a silly Alpha, you know that? The one thing that would compromise my college experience is not having you there, Dean. We are in this together, right? Well, I want to share everything with you and that includes the college life. Sharing a dorm room because they don’t give a shit in Cali if inter-species couples room together, or hell getting a small apartment close to campus. So, Dean Winchester, you are gonna have to do some research of your own and tell me what colleges interest YOU. This relationship isn’t all about me, you know?

11/10 12:22PM Dean → Cas   
Well shit Cas… I thought you knew…

11/10 12:24PM Dean → Cas   
I am not planning on going to college. I kind of assumed I would work and pay for a place for us to live so you wouldn’t have to worry while you took all of your classes. I… college was never in the plans for me, not in the student sense.

11/10 12:26PM Cas →Dean   
Dean answer me this: are you not going to college because you truly don’t want to, or do you not think you are smart enough? And trust me when I say I WILL know if you lie to me.

11/10 12:28PM Dean → Cas   
I mean… what would I go for Cas? How to be a stupid Alpha 101? Not much I’m actually good at. I think I’m smart enough, sure, for like… life stuff. But I’m not college smart. That’s all you.

11/10 12:29PM Dean → Cas   
Plus… I doubt my dad would want to pay for it either and like, I don’t know man. I just never pictured going.

11/10 12:30PM Cas →Dean   
Remind me to punch you… HARD, next time I see you. Stupid Alpha 101? Really Dean. That hurts me to know you feel that way. How would you like if I called myself a stupid Omega? Hmmm? How would that make you feel? You are so smart and you have so much potential. You could be whatever you wanted. And so what if your dad won’t pay for it? That's why colleges have loans programs, sweetheart. Not all parents can afford to send their kids to college, but that shouldn’t mean they shouldn’t go. So tell me hypothetically, if you were to go to college what would interest you?

11/10 12:35PM Dean → Cas   
Well, I’m sorry, I forgot… what did you ask me to remind you? I seem to have forgotten…

11/10 12:37PM Dean → Cas  
I literally don’t know, Cas. I figured I would work at a bar or some shit like that, bartending or waiting tables. I don’t exactly have a high skill set here… I go to school, I come home and cook for me and Sammy, I do homework cause you make me, and I talk to you. That’s basically it.

11/10 12:41PM Cas →Dean   
Will you do me a favor Dean? Will you think on it? Don’t completely rule college out just yet. Think of things you would like to do. I know you don’t want to spend your whole life bartending and waiting tables Dean. You need to find something that will make you happy. That's all I want for you, I want you to be happy, just like you want me to be happy. I chose my career path based on what I know would make me happy. I know there is something in that brain of yours you have considered pursuing, all you gotta do is tell me and we will work to make it happen… together. Because that’s what mates do.

11/10 12:43PM Dean → Cas   
-_-

11/10 12:44PM Dean → Cas   
If I say yes can we stop talking about me going to college?

11/10 12:45PM Cas →Dean   
For now yes, but you should know me better by now, Winchester. I’m not going to give up. So what would you rather talk about? Hmm?

11/10 12:46PM Dean → Cas   
How about...the fact next week is going to suck so bad? You know… Beowulf is coming out next week… Think we could both sneak out for a night? I’d love to take you to a movie you’d actually wanna see.

11/10 12:50PM Cas →Dean   
Sneaking out will not be a problem for me. Actually no sneaking will be involved at all. My family is going to my Uncle's, (Dad’s brother) for the holiday break. And well um, I’m not welcome because male Omega’s are an abomination in the eyes of the Lord. I’m actually glad I’m not going. But how fucked up is that? Okay I’m am Omega and can’t do this or that in the eyes of my dad, yet he will leave me home alone for a week! The only part that will suck is spending Thanksgiving alone.

11/10 12:52PM Dean → Cas   
You’re not going to be spending it alone. Dad always has to work, so we end up doing a breakfast thing instead of an actual turkey dinner. Sam and I just go out to the diner down the road for a turkey dinner. But... I am pretty sure I can convince him to do take out. And...

11/10 12:55PM Dean → Cas   
Do you want to meet my brother?

11/10 1:01PM Cas →Dean   
I would love to meet your brother… but are you sure he will accept me being an angel? Does he know about me? And instead of take out I have a better idea. I have all the fixings here to make our very own Thanksgiving dinner, my mom always makes sure I do. So how do you guys feel about coming here? I know you said you could cook, I would love to experience it first hand. I even have all the ingredients to make not one but two pies, a pumpkin and a cherry. So what do you think Dean?

11/10 1:03PM Dean → Cas   
Yeah, Sammy isn’t going to care you’re an angel. In fact, he’s probably going to talk your ear off and want to know everything there is to know about being an angel so he can compare it to what he knows about being a demon.

11/10 1:05PM Dean → Cas   
Sammy is wicked into species rights, actually. He doesn’t get the segregation and prejudice we have around here. We’ve come along way, obviously, since now we can work together and go to school together, but there’s still such a huge divide. I’ve listened to his tantrums once or twice, but the kid knows what he’s talking about.

11/10 1:07PM Dean → Cas   
Also, you want to cook me an entire thanksgiving dinner? WITH PIE? I knew there was a reason that I loved you.

11/10 1:08PM Dean → Cas  
I mean, you know

11/10 1:08PM Dean → Cas   
Not cause of the pie but cause

11/10 1:09PM Dean → Cas   
I know I don’t say it very much and all but like…

11/10 1:09PM Dean → Cas   
It’s not cause of the pie.

11/10 1:09PM Dean → Cas   
I… I do love you

11/10 1:09PM Dean → Cas   
The pie is a bonus

11/10 1:09PM Dean → Cas   
But it has nothing to do with the pie

11/10 1:10PM Dean → Cas Because even with the pie I would

11/10 1:10PM Dean → Cas And I can’t stop

11/10 1:10PM Dean → Cas Omg I’m sorry

11/10 1:10PM Dean → Cas I just… you know. Yeah.

11/10 1:11PM Cas →Dean   
I think it’s cute when you ramble Alpha. And just so you know, I love you too, very much. And I’m glad to know Sam accepts me, I have it admit I was worried he wouldn’t and I know how much he means to you and I would have hated to cause problems between the two of you.

11/10 1:12PM Dean → Cas   
Cute, rambling Alpha at your service. And yeah, he totally will. I’ll bring it up to him tonight. I bet he’s going to be stoked about you making us a real thanksgiving dinner. I don’t think he’s ever had one…

11/10 1:13PM Cas →Dean   
I’m sorry to hear that, I really am. I used to enjoy them, you know until I presented and was no longer welcome. And woah-ho-ho! Me making the dinner? Oh no, Winchester. We are gonna tag team it baby.

11/10 1:14PM Dean → Cas   
I would love to make Thanksgiving dinner with you :)

11/10 1:15PM Dean → Cas   
From the sounds of it… Dad just got home and he’s not in a good mood. I gotta go make sure Sammy is doing okay down there with him alone.

11/10 1:15PM Cas →Dean   
I understand. Go be with Sam. Message me later if you can? And Alpha… I love you.

11/10 1:17PM Dean → Cas   
Call me before you go to bed if we don’t talk before then?

11/10 1:18PM Dean → Cas   
I love you too, my Omega.

Monday  
November 12th, 2007

My baby Blue Sky,

Mondays suck.

No more fun, the weekend’s done

We’ve done our duty, now we’re all alone

I touch your hand, your eyes meet mine

It’s warm, it’s quiet, and I’m feeling fine

Let’s turn out all the lights and lock the lock

And do the Monday morning rock

That would make my Monday mornings much better. Seriously, I can not wait for next week. Although I can’t spend every day without my dad getting suspicious, I’m so going to plan on waking up at least two mornings wrapped up in your arms.

I just saw you this morning, but I miss you already. We don’t even get to talk half the time, but just hearing your voice as you talk to your friends across the courtyard is enough for me.

 ~~Sammy~~ Skywalker is so excited about Thanksgiving. He’s been scouring All Recipes for hours so he can study how to make the perfect gravy because, and I quote, “if we fuck this up for him he’s going to have to kill us both”. So, there you go. You better not have planned on canned or packaged gravy because the little bro ain’t having none of that. Spoiled brat.

How is your morning going so far? I hope it’s better than mine. Alder is on a fucking roll today, but I’m keeping my cool and writing to you because the last thing this psychotic bastard needs is to ruin my vacation week by giving me an extra assignment or like, vacation detention or something. Is that even a thing?

 

 

Sorry, I was bored. I couldn’t concentrate enough to actually write to you while he was talking. Just… ignore that. HEY! This will be easiest;

Things ~~Dean~~ Zeppelin will NOT be going to college for:

\-- Drawing

Love, your Alpha,  
Zepp

Tuesday  
November 13th, 2007

My dearest Zeppelin,

I must agree Monday mornings would be much better doing the ‘Monday morning rock’ in bed with you. That is if I’m understanding the reference correctly.

I am glad Skywalker is excited. I must admit, I am too. And *GASPS* there is such a thing as canned or packaged gravy? Of course we will be making it from scratch along with most everything else.

I’m sorry to hear Adler was a dick yesterday. He’s been no better today. I seriously think that man is sexist against Omegas, not to mention he just gives me a bad vibe sometimes. Like I catch him staring at me when everyone is working or testing and I don’t know maybe I’m over analyzing it. Nevermind... On to a better topic.

So, are you really plan on staying with me a few nights over break? Because I gotta say, I love that idea. I want to wake up in your arms too, not to mention have a little… a lot of fun the night before. If you want to, too. Oh, and just so you know, my blockers are the kind with birth control. It may be an Omega thing, but I don’t want any barriers between us our first time and hell, any time thereafter. I want to feel you, your skin not some latex hindrance that's keeping me from feeling what I really want. Do you want that, too? Am I making sense? Are you the least bit worried that we are virgins and won’t know what the hell we are doing? Or do you think our Alpha/Omega instincts will drive us? Okay, enough thinking about this… I DO NOT want to get worked up in Adler’s class.

Oh yeah, I heard it through the grapevine that you already have detention tomorrow. Really, Zep? You are going to get in trouble with your father if you keep getting detention. Am I really worth that risk?

Love Always, your mate, your Omega,  
Mr. Blue Sky

P.S. I look forward to the hours we will get to spend together tomorrow. :) And Oh! Don’t rule out drawing just yet. I’ve heard your dick pics are quite spectacular, that they are good enough to hang in the Louvre. ;)

Tuesday  
November 13th, 2007

Sweet, Sexy, Omega of Mine,

He’s my Cherry Pie! He’s gonna make me one and I’m gonna cry, taste so good and I love pie so much, my Omega is the beeeeeeeeest!!!!!!

Dude, I am so excited for pie. Like, that's what Thanksgiving is about. PIE. It’s not about turkey or corn or rolls or any of that shit. It’s about PIE, ~~Cas~~ Blue Sky. Pie.

God, now I am hungry and horny, picturing licking cherry pie filling off of your body…

Speaking of, kind of… I’m not worried, not really. I feel a little anxious yeah, but mostly because the only person who’s ever seen me naked since I’ve hit puberty is me and I don’t know… I’m a little self conscious? I mean, yeah, I sent you a picture and stuff but that’s still different. I don’t want to hurt you either, but I’ve been reading a lot of stuff online and I think that it’s going to be okay. I think it’s… pretty straight forward? And it’s good that your suppressants also have birth control… I can’t imagine having that conversation with either of our parents ~~even if the idea of you having our babies is kind of like the best fucking thing ever~~. I want to feel all of you, too. And maybe our instincts will be what drives us, but I just know that we’ll figure it out together and I’m just… happy it gets to be with you.

And now my chick flick moment quota is filled for like, at least a year.

My detention… So I may have heard from a friend in your class that Alder was ‘skeeving on the nerdy angel student’ and after pushing just a bit more... I realized who he meant. My friend Gordon is in that class with you and that’s all he fucking talked about during Calc so by the time I got to Alder’s class myself… well… It doesn’t take much for a student like me to piss off an Angel teacher with a complex. You know? Your entry just kind of confirmed it and I don’t feel bad about it at all. My dad can fuck himself if he has a problem with it.

Miss you.

See you in last period. I’ll stare at the back of your head for an hour and a half :)

Yours,  
Zeppelin

Tuesday  
November 13th, 2007

My horndog Alpha Zeppelin,

Licking cherry pie off my body, really? *Rolls Eyes* Typical Alpha combining food and sex. Not that I’m complaining, though. The thought is rather appealing to me, as well. Your tongue running all over my body cleaning the sweet sticky filling off of me… You know we will probably have some left over cherry pie. ;) Can’t think of a better way to put it to use either. I can’t wait to be with you, to touch you. There is no reason for you to be self conscious, Dean. You're beautiful to me both inside and out. My perfect, perfect Alpha. I feel better knowing you have done research, and I trust you completely with my mind, body, and soul. I know you won’t hurt me. I’m so glad my first time is going to be with you, my Alpha, my mate. I would not have wanted it any other way.

Devour me in all places, on the ground, walls, bed.

Fill me hard with all you have.

I will lick your fingers in my mouth.

Take your fruit out I will eat it while resting on my four limbs.

Then bring it out and put it in

until it floods our souls.

[x](https://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/189751-devour-me/)

Love Always, your mate, your Omega,  
Mr. Blue Sky

P.S. I love you, Alpha.

Wednesday  
November 14th, 2007

Detention sucks.

 

 

Thursday  
November 15th, 2007

My Alpha Zeppelin,

You're an artist, better than Picasso, in my opinion. Dicks of all shapes and sizes, knots included. Oh, baby, you sure know how to get my engine revving, make me all wet, drawing me such naughty, naughty, pics. *Rolls Eyes* If your drawing had not been on the back of one of our letters I would have torn the page out and hung it in my room for, well, I'm sure you know what for. *Snorts*

Yesterday afternoon was something. I can't believe we almost got caught though. Next time you get detention we need to find somewhere more private than the library. Maybe a supply closet? They look awfully cozy. Being with you, kissing you, makes me feel complete. I can't wait for Thanksgiving break. I'm looking forward to having a nice dinner with you and Skywalker. I'm also looking forward to the nights you can get away and spend with me.

Silently we will bask in our silence.

Naked we will inhale each others presence.

Exhausted we will lay resting,

in the pools of our sweat.

The sheets will cling to our tired bodies.

Dripping wet with each other's juices.

We will be saturated, and we will be

Satisfied.

[x](https://hellopoetry.com/poem/1968004/satisfied/)

I want that with you. I want EVERYTHING with you. I can't wait until we are far away from this damn town, where we would be ridiculed for just being friends and persecuted for being mates. I want to kiss you and hug you, Zeppelin. God, it's so hard not to be able to do things couples do. I'm so looking forward to Thanksgiving break, because I will get to actually spend time time with you. But then I think to myself how am I going to go from being able to spend time with you back to how things are now? A few stolen moments here and there. It's just not enough, does thinking that way make me greedy?

Love Always, your mate, your Omega,  
Mr. Blue Sky

P.S. Tomorrow is the last day of school before break starts! Oh, and my parents are leaving Saturday morning, just so you know, Alpha. ;) Love you.

Friday  
November 16th, 2007

Dear Mr. Blue Sky,

Do you share all of your poetry with the club? I mean, probably not the ones you write in here, but are you getting recognition for when you share? You should. Your poetry is awesome, baby. I bet, if you wanted, you could get a few pieces published.

I did as you asked ~~because I’m a sucker for your pretty smile~~ and I looked into some colleges around California… I have to admit, I looked mostly for the options that would benefit you first but…

Did you know I always wanted a dog? Dad would never go for it… Skywalker has always wanted one too, so I have always acted like I never wanted a dog and that they were dumb and everything because I didn’t want him thinking we could try to tag team Dad or something but… I think it would be so cool to have one. And then it got me thinking, we can’t really have a dog when we’re in college -- we’re going to be busy and all that shit but what if… what if I worked with them? Like, animals, in general?

I don’t want to be a vet or anything. I know I’m not smart enough to be a doctor of any kind, and before you argue with me, come on. Can you honestly see me going to school for like 8 years and getting a PhD? Um, no. But maybe I could be a tech? I could work with the vets and the animals but not spend the next ten years of my life going prematurely bald and spending ridiculous hours in school.

But… what do you think? If you think it’s dumb tell me cause I really don’t know if it’s stretching or not. I just think

I don’t know what I think.

This is all new to me, ~~Cas~~ Blue Sky. I never really entertained the idea of college until you told me to and I told Skywalker about it and the look on his face… He was so excited. He started looking up colleges and he started a list that we will bring on Thursday and he’s picked out a college for himself in Cali so… we can’t pick a different state now or else he will probably kill us both. But, yeah. I just want that. I want everything you said. College or no college, I just want to be with you.

~~Love,~~ Yours,  
Zeppelin

11/17 11:10AM Cas →Dean

I think that is great Dean! I think you would make a wonderful veterinary tech. And when we graduate college and get our very own house we can get a dog… but you have got to let me get a cat, I’ve always wanted a cat.

11/17 11:11AM Cas →Dean   
My parents just left. I’m home alone.

11/17 11:11AM Cas →Dean   
Oh God, I can’t believe I just wrote that… My parents just left. I’m home alone. That sounds like one of those teenage movies where the seductive Omega is trying to lure the horny Alpha to their house with the promise of sex.

11/17 11:14AM Dean → Cas   
I could be down with a cat. But it has to be a badass tiger cat or coon cat or something big enough to take down the dog we’re gonna have. I don’t want a pushover cat.

11/17 11:16AM Dean → Cas   
You naughty, naughty Omega! Dad is out with Sammy grocery shopping right now and if I’m not here to help unload I’m pretty sure he’ll kill me, but after they’re back I can head on over if you want me to :)

11/17 11:17AM Cas →Dean   
Hmm, let me think about that… Do I want my hot Alpha mate who I have had no opportunity to spend time with since we realized we were mates to come over and see with me without any chance of being interrupted or caught? Um, that would be a hell yes! But however will we pass the time? ;)

11/17 11:18AM Cas →Dean   
Maybe like this… “I’ll spread my legs apart. I’ll surrender myself to you. Feel you gently place your hand between my thighs and feel my slick soaked skin. This is when you know, I’m ready for you.”

11/17 11:19AM Cas →Dean   
A little something I wrote last night while I was thinking about you.

11/17 11:20AM Dean → Cas   
You’re going to be the death of me.

11/17 11:22AM Dean → Cas   
Here lies Dean Winchester, died of blue knot from his too-hot Omega and his sinful poetry.

11/17 11:24AM Dean → Cas   
Want me to bring anything over? It will probably be lunch. I can pick up some takeout?

11/17 11:26AM Cas →Dean   
Burgers and fries? A big juicy burger sounds pretty damn tempting. And I promise when you stay the night with me I will take care of that blue knot properly. ;)

11/17 11:27AM Dean → Cas   
This is why I love you. You have the best suggestions.

11/17 11:28AM Dean → Cas  
Dad and Sammy are home! I’ll text you when I’m about to leave.

11/17 11:28AM Cas →Dean   
Can’t wait. See you soon, my sexy Alpha.

11/17 11:59AM Dean → Cas   
On my way baby!

11/17 12:05PM Cas →Dean   
Doors unlocked. Just come on in when you get here.

Sunday  
November 18th, 2007

My wonderful mate, my Alpha Zeppelin,

I'm writing this as I watch you sleep… in my bed. I rather like the sight of you wrapped up in my blanket and hugging my pillow tight, your face buried in it and breathing in our mingled, mated scent.

Last night… and well into the early morning hours was incredible, you were incredible. The way you made me feel so loved, so wanted, as you traced every inch of my body with your fingertips and your lips. It felt electric like fire licking through my veins. Every touch you placed on my flesh left a mark on my soul.

The feel of your tongue teasingly running across my rim in soft flicks and long broad strokes as you drank in my essence, lapped away the slick that ran freely from my body, all from your touch. It made my whole being quiver. I felt as if I was going to shatter into a million pieces, all from the sheer ecstasy of the things you were doing to me, to my, body, my soul. I didn't think it could get any better than how I felt in that moment. God, was I wrong...

When you pushed into me Dean, it felt like two puzzle pieces fitting perfectly together, like coming home. The smell of Alpha and Mate surrounded me as you slowly moved in and out of my body all the while whispering words of love and encouragement in my ear. It was like heaven. There's no other word I can think to describe how I felt in that moment.

I can still feel your lips on my throat, and my body aches in the most delectable way, a wonderful reminder you were there. The way you gripped my hips and picked up the pace after what seemed like an eternity of slow languid love making... The fast and hard pace was just as pleasant, maybe in some ways even better. The rumbling growls that spilled past your kiss swollen lips made my inner Omega purr in utter delight, your knot swelling, popping in and out of me, as you took me harder, made me want to bare my throat to you… so I did.

When your knot swole to completion locking us together and you surged forward sinking your teeth into my mating glad. When you offered your throat to me in return, offered back to me everything I had so willingly given, it was so perfect, pure, and erotic I came untouched between our sweat soaked bodies as my own teeth marked your flesh and I felt our bond snap into place as you filled me with you release. Did you feel it too?

As we laid there tied together and you continued to fill my body with your seed, I watched you. I watched as you stared at the bloody bite on my mating glad, I saw the look in your eyes. You felt bad for claiming me. You thought you’d initiated it and therefore forced it upon me, and when you opened your mouth to say as much I kissed you, because I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to hear you blame yourself and I didn't want to hear you say you regretted it. Because you know what? I don't. I don't regret it for one minute.

I know we talked about you claiming me after college, that had been the plan, but guess what? Plans change, babe. And you may think me foolish but I'm glad it happened this way. I don't give a shit that we are 17 and mated, and God, do I hope you feel the same way, that your fears and regrets lied within the thought that I didn't want this or that I would be upset. But I'm telling you here and now, I'm neither upset nor regretting what happened. I'm happy, happier than I ever have been. I can feel our bond. I can feel your love, and it makes my heart sing. It sings for you, Alpha.

“Fingerprints red like roses.

Bruises deep burgundy like fine wine.

The bite you painted onto my body.

Claiming me as yours, your mate,

your Omega.”

Okay, I have my sexy naked Mate in my bed and it's time I join him. I just wanted to write this letter while everything was still fresh in my mind. I wanted you to know what this night meant to me.

Love Always, your mate, your Omega,

Mr. Blue Sky

P.S. I really hope you're not a cover hog.


	4. Chapter Three

Thursday,  
January 3rd, 2008

Dear Mr. Blue Sky

Why they make us return to school for a two day week is beyond me… I would’ve much rather figured out how to sneak you into my house while Dad was working to have my wicked way with you. Okay, okay, Skywalker would’ve killed us, but I would’ve settled for cuddling and Star Wars. Just…don’t tell anyone.

This is harder than I imagined. Even harder than going back to school after Thanksgiving break. I had almost an entire month of you to myself for Winter Break and with your parents gone again, It feel like I was in heaven. You definitely spoil me, baby. Going to sleep alone and unable to hear your voice as I fall asleep is torture. Your dad cutting off calling at 8pm is also bullshit, just saying.

Do you think it will last? I know Guido-Brother-Alpha-1 complained he heard you talking on the phone through the wall, but really? They don’t want you to have friends? I wish I could tell each of your fucking brothers and parents what I think of them. Middle-Guido-Alpha is in my Calc class, don’t know how I never noticed, and he asked me for paper and I wanted to deck him, probably could’ve since he’s ~~an angel~~ you know, and no one would bat an eye. Why your dad is okay with him failing and repeating his senior year but not with you having a friend is bull.

Not that I’m just a friend, but they don’t know that.

I feel like June is forever away… I just want this year to be over. I want to pack up the Impala with all of our things and just drive as fucking far away from here as fast as I can. Baby, I can just picture you riding shotgun with the windows down, singing along with me to the radio, and just fucking happy. I just want you to be happy and I want to be what makes you happy.

 

So close, no matter how far  
Couldn't be much more from the heart  
Forever trusting who we are  
And nothing else matters

**Never opened myself this way  
** Life is ours, we live it our way  
All these words I don't just say  
And nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you  
Every day for us **something new  
** Open mind for a different view  
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do  
Never cared for what they know  
But I know  
[x](http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/metallica/nothingelsematters.html)

I made you another tape, too. Check the top part of your locker. Metallica, baby, that’s what you’ll be singing!!

I stopped by the mailbox today, too and sent out the two applications we did last week… I put yours in there too, don’t worry. But it felt… really good, actually. ~~Sammy~~ Skywalker asked why we sent them out so early and I made sure to tell him it was all you and that you’re a goddamn overachiever. He seemed really excited, though, about the idea of us going to school together. I pulled up an application for the community college there, too, just incase. I heard someone saying they were gonna apply to the ‘lower’ colleges, too in case they couldn’t get in the ones they wanted and would be able to take courses that would transfer and build up their GPA. You probably won’t need it, but… safety net, I guess.

And now that I’ve effectively talked about COLLEGE without the promise of a blowjob, I am going to need to slap myself. What are you doing to me, my Omega? What even IS this?

You’re lucky I love you.

And, I do. A lot.

So, what happened this morning? I was walking to second period when I felt you being super anxious through our bond. You’d just gotten into Alder’s class, right? Is everything okay?

No detention yet to speak of, but I can make class hell for him if I need to. Just say the word.

Love you,  
Your Mate,  
Zeppelin

 

01/03 12:07PM Cas → Dean  
I’m a real rebel texting during school, during class *gasps* You have rubbed off on me. I read your letter and thought I would text instead of write back. I’m so glad you sent off our applications and don’t worry, sweetie, I’ve got faith we will get into the same college. It’s just this feeling I got. I know everything will work out like we want. And I’m sorry you felt my anxiousness. Yeah, I was in Adler’s class. He was staring at me again. It just made me feel uncomfortable. IDK, it’s probably nothing. I just don’t like the way he watches me. Creeps me out. You know?

01/03 12:08PM Dean → Cas  
I am gonna kill that fucker.

01/03 12:10PM Cas → Dean  
Dean, seriously, I’m sure nothing.

01/03 12:11PM Dean → Cas  
If he’s making my mate uncomfortable? It sure as hell isn’t nothing.

01/03 12:12PM Cas → Dean  
Just don’t do anything rash, Dean, okay?

01/03 12:13PM Dean → Cas  
Like what, Cas? Punch him in his smug, slimy, fucking ugly ass angel face?

01/03 12:14PM Cas → Dean  
Yes, my Alpha. That would be the rash thing I’m referring to.

01/03 12:15PM Dean → Cas  
What about ripping his wings off and beating him with them. Is that rash?

01/03 12:16PM Cas → Dean  
No violence of any kind, okay? You don’t need to get into trouble just before we graduate. Think of the big picture here.

01/03 12:18PM Dean → Cas  
I am glaring at you right now. I hope you know.

01/03 12:19PM Dean → Cas  
Smart AND Sexy? It’s not fair.

01/03 12:22PM Cas → Dean  
Smart, Sexy, AND all yours! ;)

01/03 12:23PM Dean → Cas  
Fine. I won’t punch Alder.

01/03 12:23PM Dean → Cas  
Or rip his wings off.

01/03 12:24PM Dean → Cas  
Or poison his coffee.

01/03 12:25PM Dean → Cas  
Maybe.

01/03 12:27PM Cas → Dean  
There is no maybe. If you ever want to stick your knot in me again you will be a good Alpha, mister.

01/03 12:27PM Dean → Cas  
I’m glaring at you again

01/03 12:32PM Dean → Cas  
*sigh* Yes, Omega. I’ll be good.

01/03 12:35PM Cas → Dean  
Damn teenage Alpha’s are so easy at the mention of no sexy time they cave so quickly. LOL

01/03 12:36PM Dean → Cas  
Woah, woah, woah! What other teenage Alphas are you withholding sexy time from?

01/03 12:37PM Cas → Dean  
Wouldn’t you like to know? :P

01/03 12:37PM Dean → Cas  
Cas.

01/03 12:38PM Dean → Cas  
I’m already irritated over Alder and maybe it has me antsy, but I am not finding this joke funny.

01/03 12:39PM Dean → Cas  
It IS a joke.

01/03 12:39PM Dean → Cas  
Right?

01/03 12:40PM Cas → Dean  
Baby, do you really need to ask me that? You know you're my love, my life, my mate. The only Alpha I would ever want. Sorry if my teasing struck a nerve. But I assure you that’s all it was.

01/03 12:41PM Dean → Cas  
No, I’m sorry

01/03 12:41PM Dean → Cas  
I don’t like Alder

01/03 12:42PM Dean → Cas  
I don’t like him looking at you

01/03 12:43PM Dean → Cas  
I don’t like other people looking at you and not knowing you’re already taken and that you’ve already gotten my heart in return

01/03 12:43PM Dean → Cas  
I don’t like thinking of you with anyone else. For any reason.

01/03 12:43PM Dean → Cas  
You’re mine, and I’m yours.

01/03 12:45PM Cas → Dean  
Dean, you have nothing to worry about. No one looks at me. No one checks me out. I’m just a nerdy Omega. A nobody.

01/03 12:46PM Dean → Cas  
Are you kidding, Cas?

01/03 12:46PM Dean → Cas  
People stare at you in the hallways, angel and demon alike. Nerdy or not, you’re fucking hot and people definitely notice.

01/03 12:48PM Cas → Dean  
Well, you have nothing to worry about. I’m all yours. Only yours. But I get it, I do. I see people watching you, checking you out and God, it drives me crazy! You are mine! My mate and you have the mark to prove it. And I hate we can’t show them off proudly.

01/03 12:49PM Dean → Cas  
They’re looking at me because I walk around with a goofy, shit eating, happy grin because I have a sexy, badass omega mate who makes me do awful things like apply for college and remember to brush my teeth in the morning.

01/03 12:50PM Cas → Dean  
Well, yeah I make you brush your teeth. On the off chance we can sneak a morning kiss, I most definitely do not want to taste what you had from breakfast. That's just gross, Dean.

01/03 12:51PM Dean → Cas  
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01/03 12:53PM Dean → Cas  
Speaking of… think you can get a pass to the bathroom and meet me on the third floor?

01/03 12:54PM Cas → Dean  
Be there in five minutes, baby.

01/03 12:54PM Dean → Cas  
:) Don’t worry. I brushed my teeth this morning.

 

Wednesday  
January 9th, 2008

My Alpha Zeppelin,

I'm writing this as I listen to everyone share their poems in the Poetry Club. Your brother is really good, does he ever share with you anything he writes? I shared one of my poems today, one that I wrote about us. After I had finished it and looked around the room Sam was blushing and shifting in his seat. He wouldn’t meet my eyes. Pretty sure he knew the poem was about us.

 

“Delicious,  
let me fill you with my flavor.  
Let my sweetness  
take residence in your mouth.  
Treat my essence  
like a fragrance  
and wear me out.  
Make me your delicacy  
and someday I will bear your fruit.  
Pushing, pulling, touching, tasting,  
until our pleasure reaches its peak.  
Release your pure juices,  
like a faucet they pour out within me.  
Making me feel utterly complete.”

What do you think? Do you think he knew?

Poetry Club has always been the highlight of my week... well, that is until after we discovered we were mates and you make a point to get detention every Wednesday. Except for today because Adler had a damn substitute teacher. I heard about you acting up and the dude was just so laid back you gave up after a while.

Seriously though, no one has caught onto your detentions every Wednesday? No one wonders why you always seem to get detention on that one day every week? Not that I'm complaining because I definitely do not want to give up that time I get with you. It means everything to me.

Speaking of time with you, do you think you could get away for the weekend? My family has a cabin about an hour from here and I thought maybe we could go. My quarterly heat is due to start Friday. You know the one where Omega’s are not supposed to take their suppressants and let their heat to clean their system out. I know you're probably thinking how the hell could you get out of the house if your parents know your heat is this weekend. Simple. They have no clue. They don't keep track of my schedule, It's more of a hindrance to them, so it solely my responsibility.

So I was thinking maybe you could tell your dad you were going home with a friend for the weekend, and I will tell mine the same. We could meet a block from school Friday morning, grab supplies Pleasant Grove and then go straight to the cabin. My heat won't be in full swing until around ten am so that gives us plenty of time to make it there. With the help of an Alpha, especially a mate, it should be completely over by Sunday mid-day. So we could let our parents know we will be home after we have dinner at our friends’ on Sunday evening.

I just, I can't think about having to go through this heat without you, especially since we are now mated and my body knows that. It would be pure hell.

Class is getting ready to let out.

*Sighs* It just doesn't feel like Wednesday. Knowing we are not going to spend the next few hours talking and making out in the library behind the books makes my heart ache. I cherish that time with you.

Love Always, your mate, your Omega,  
Mr. Blue Sky

P.S. I will (im)patiently wait for your response about this weekend. I love you, Alpha.

 

Thursday  
January 10th, 2008

Dear beautiful Omega of mine,

Skywalker totally knew what that poem was really about. He couldn’t look me in the face while we ate dinner last night without becoming as red as a goddamn tomato! Which, let me tell you, is an awesome look for him. I didn’t think there was anything about me that could ever embarrass him anymore, but it is awesome to be proven wrong. I vote you write a butt load (see what I did there? Hah. See? SEE? God, I am hilarious) of erotic poems to share with the class and definitely with me, too.

No, he’s never shared any of his works with me… not on purpose. I have looked over his shoulder while he’s been writing at the kitchen table, though and from what I’ve looked at, he seems to have a pretty good idea of what the heck he’s doing. His style’s different from yours, but I like it.

I am so excited for this weekend. Mostly because the idea of getting to spend 48 hours with you uninterrupted where we don’t have to worry about anything is amazing. I know we’re going to be working out your heat, and I want to do everything I can to make it easier for you, but I’m honestly craving and excited for the down times. ~~Okay, totally excited to get laid too, but really, who wouldn’t be?!~~

Chalk this up as my monthly chick flick moment but… I am looking forward to to waking up beside you and making you breakfast. I want to wash your skin down in the shower and kiss you goodnight. I want to hear your voice while we talk to each other instead of hearing it through a phone and I want to hold your hand as we watch TV or read or go for a walk or literally anything that you want to do while you’re relaxing.

So… again, stupid Alpha, but… is this heat going to be like your last one was? I know that you get the ‘phantom’ heats when your cycle would be happening without suppressants and you’re a bit more irritable and your eyes get darker, but I read somewhere that heats can be painful… Are you going to be in pain? Um, ~~heat porn~~ my research on heats isn’t very clear on what I should be expecting.

Tomorrow can’t get here fast enough.

Yours,  
Zeppelin

 

01/10 7:08PM Cas → Dean  
TEXT ME BABY!

01/10 7:12PM Dean → Cas  
Lol subtle. Something tells me you’re looking for a certain Alpha to text you?

01/10 7:13PM Cas → Dean  
I’m bored. Entertain me, Alpha!

01/10 7:15PM Dean → Cas  
I could call you, but I’m currently stuffing my face full of cheetos and watching Indiana Jones with Sammy. The bitchface would be real strong in Skywalker, but I’ll put you on speaker if you want?

01/10 7:16PM Cas → Dean  
That's okay. I was actually messaging you in regards to your letter from today. You had some questions about my heat. You still need answers? Or did you find a better source to get info from? Heat Porn, really Dean? Oh yeah, I saw where you tried to mark that out.

01/10 7:17PM Dean → Cas  
You weren’t supposed to read through my scratch marks, Cas. Next time I’m gonna sharpie them out.

01/10 7:19PM Dean → Cas  
Well, I mean… I know you don’t always like talking about it. I just want to be prepared if you’re going to be in pain or something, cause I really don’t want to see you in pain.

01/10 7:20PM Dean → Cas  
I mean, obviously if that’s what’s gonna happen I’m gonna be there and I’ll help you! I don’t mean that if you ARE in pain I’m not going, just… I don’t know what I’m saying.

01/10 7:21PM Cas → Dean  
First of all, silly Alpha, do you think you are the only one who watches porn? I’m a teenage boy, too, you know, LOL.

01/10 7:21PM Cas → Dean  
Okay, now, about my heat. Yes, I will experience pain and discomfort, but well, that’s why I wanted you there. An Alpha, a mate, eases that pain and discomfort and I’m not talking about by just knotting me. Your touch and your scent will help, too. And this heat will definitely be different than my last, because I won’t be taking a suppressant to stop it. It will be a full heat, and well, I’m kinda nervous about that if I’m being completely honest here.

01/10 7:25PM Dean → Cas  
Have you ever had a full blown heat before?

01/10 7:26PM Cas → Dean  
Yeah, by myself. They are important to clean out your system. I’m nervous about you being with me. I want you there, don’t think for a second that I don’t but... I’m just anxious.

01/10 7:26PM Dean → Cas  
Aww, baby, what are you nervous about?

01/10 7:28PM Cas → Dean  
Well, a few different things. For one heats make you needy. Like what if I am too needy? What if it annoys you, or turns you off? And then there is the whole biological need thing. Even though we are young and I’m on birth control, my body is hardwired to think about breeding during a heat. What if I say something embarrassing? What if you realize I’m too much trouble after this?

01/10 7:30PM Dean → Cas  
Cas, your body is hardwired for that, but so is mine. Hell, even you just saying that makes something inside me stupidly excited. There is nothing you could ever say to me that would make me laugh at you, baby. Not like that, anyways. You are perfect for me. You’re the perfect Omega and the best mate I could’ve asked for. Even if you do say something in the heat of the moment (hah, see what I did there?) that embarrasses you later, we can laugh about it together.

01/10 7:31PM Cas → Dean  
And you don’t mind me being needy? Like even if you have been cuddling me for hours and I want more cuddles and I’m hotter than hell on a summer day, it won’t annoy you?

01/10 7:32PM Dean → Cas  
Baby, that’s what they make fans for. And, if it’s super hot, that means we get to cuddle NAKED and really, you expect me to complain about that?

01/10 7:33PM Cas → Dean  
You think you will be able to handle me once my heat kicks in? Like you’re not worried I’m going to wear you out?

01/10 7:33PM Dean → Cas  
Wear me out? I’m offended.

01/10 7:40PM Dean → Cas  
Get your butt out here and kiss me goodnight. I walked over so you can take a quick glance at the grocery list I made for the weekend. I’m behind your dad’s shed and I will show you, my stamina is excellent, thank you very much.

01/10 7:40PM Cas → Dean  
You are something, Alpha. I’m on my way out now.

 

~~Friday,  
~~~~January 11th, 2008~~  
Saturday,  
January 12th, 2008

Baby,

It’s well after midnight now, I’m sure. It took a lot of effort just to get into my backpack for the notebook and I don’t want to risk searching for either one of our phones and waking you up.

Because, God, ~~you look so fuckin~~ you look beautiful right now.

Even during the nights we spent together over the breaks, you were never this… serene. I can feel your heart beating against my chest where you’re pressed against me, I’m surrounded by ~~you and everything you~~ your scent and the heat from your body. There is nothing, nothing in this world, that could possibly ever feel better than this right here. Even you breathing softly against my neck feels right ~~and I don’t do~~.

 

As I sit here and slowly close my eyes,  
I take another deep breath and  
Feel the wind pass through my body  
I’m the one in your soul, reflecting inner light  
 **Protect the ones who hold you**

And I intend to. Here, right now, in the ~~middle of the night~~ pitch dark of this room… I see everything. I see you, and me, and the future we have together. I never thought I would have this, and maybe that’s a crazy thought for a seventeen year old to have, but it’s completely true. I always thought I would settle, I saw what losing Mom did to my dad and I never wanted to risk it, never wanted to care. But you crashed into my life and changed that. You changed everything.

 

**I’m the one who loves you, no matter wrong or right.  
** And everyday I hold you, I hold you with my inner child.  
I need serenity, in a place where I can hide  
I need serenity, nothing changes, days go by.  
[x](http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/godsmack/serenity.html)

I should be sleeping… I know the next round of your heat will be amping up before the sun even rises, but I just have this… overwhelming need to tell you. My chest is hot and tight and my stomach wont stop flipping over itself and I just want to explode and tell everyone and anyone who will listen how fucking lucky I am that I have you, that you chose me, that you allowed me to take you as my own and that you have completed me. Because, ~~Castiel~~ Blue Sky, you did. You truly did.

I don’t do this. I don’t do words and love and explanations of feelings. It doesn’t ~~come out in the right~~ come to me that easy, not like it does to you. I joke around and I quote songs that ~~make me feel~~ evoke those feelings in me, but I can’t ever put it into words. And even this, even me trying to fucking hard right now to explain to you how amazing you make me feel and how beautiful you are and how perfect this is -- it’s still not coming out right. It’s still not even close, doesn’t scratch the surface, of what I am trying to get across.

~~I am so in love with you~~

No. I am so in love with you. I don’t say it often, I know that I don’t, and I know that sometimes it bothers you when I say ‘you too’ and I am trying so hard, baby. I’ve never said it, to anyone. Dad never said it, ~~Sam~~ Skywalker and I don’t say it, because to love something is to lose it and I can’t -- I can’t lose you.

I need you. I need you in my life because I feel like you’re the only thing that’s keeping me sane in this crazy fucked up place that we live, and I just…

Needed you to know.

Now, I’m going to hold you as close as I fucking can and I’m never letting you go.

Yours, always,  
Zeppelin

 

Sunday,  
January 13th, 2008

My sweet Alpha, my beloved Mate Zeppelin,

It’s 10pm Sunday night and we have only been apart about 5 hours and I miss you so much already. I opened up the notebook to write you a letter and was surprised to find the one you had written. Why didn't you tell me you wrote me a letter? Reading it made me smile, it eased the ache of us being apart.

Baby I don't know why you say you don't have a way with words, because that letter it was beautiful, it was perfect, and just so you know, you complete me too. I need you too, and you never have to worry about loosing me I'm not going anywhere. So hold me close never let me go because that is exactly what I want too.

You have no idea how much this weekend meant to me. I have always dreaded my heats but you made it bearable, hell you made it pleasurable. My body is tired and aches in the most delectable ways, a way I will be feeling for days. It will be a wonderful reminder of all the things we did. All the ways you touched me, and how you pressed deep inside me each time my heat reached it's boiling point. The way your seed quelled my body's hunger. It was unbelievable, you were unbelievable Alpha.

 

“Lay me down.  
Your sensual loving is all I wish for.  
Go slow and steady.  
Tell me how you're mine  
and I'm yours.  
Go deep,  
deep, within  
me and into my soul.  
Look into my eyes,  
as you read me,  
yearning for you.  
I know I'm greedy,  
but you're too precious to me.  
No one  
could replace you.”

I should probably get some sleep, this weekend really took it out of me. I can't wait to see you tomorrow. I love you.

Love Always, your mate, your Omega,  
Mr. Blue Sky

P.S. Work harder to get detention this Wednesday. Even though we have been together all weekend, I already miss you like crazy and crave your touch Alpha. ;)

 

Monday,  
January 14th, 2008

Dear awesome as fuck mate of mine,

Because you are awesome as fuck. It's like, the best kind of awesome. I can't believe you left me a muffin this morning! Did you make them yourself? Because, if so, I'm going to mate you all over again because they were DELICIOUS. ~~I would mate you again even if you couldn't cook~~ Thank you so much. You must be a mind reader because I slept past my first alarm and didn't end up eating anything before I ran out the door.

How is your morning going? I hope Alder isn't completely awful today... he's such a dick. That man seriously needs to get laid.

Omg. Now I am thinking of Alder with his knot up someone's ass and I want to puke. I would much rather think of MY knot up YOUR ass. Much better image in my opinion.

 ~~Sammy~~ Skywalker made a point of saying I could always tell Dad I was picking him up after poetry and that, of course, the brat wanted to stop at the library for a while and that's why I was later, that way I won't be getting detention as often. Which, I have to hand it to him is pretty smart, but also suspicious. I think little Skywalker has a crush on someone and now I am bound and determined to figure out who it is. Gotta make sure they're good enough for my baby bro. And also... it makes me nervous. He's about to present, my family has always been right on the cusp of our 13 birthday and he's a few months late... I don't think he could hide it from me, I don't know why he would, so he's a little late. It should happen any time now. But what if this crush of his is the same gender? That will get him a ration of shit even more than us... I don't want him to have to hide anything, you know? I want him to be able to love who he loves and not feel like he has to hide from anyone. Maybe I'm thinking too much about it... it is what it is and I'll support him regardless.

I just… I hate that we have to hide. I hate every single morning when I see you arrive and I can't kiss you hello. I hate seeing you in the hall and at lunch and having to pretend you don't exist. I hate sneaking into the library to kiss you - okay, no, I don't but I hate that it's the ONLY time I can kiss you. I don't want that for Sam. I don't want that for us. I don't want that for anyone.

Why is us being together wrong? There is nothing about this that is wrong.

I love you, I want everyone to know, and I can't wait to be out of this damn place so I can tell the fucking world.

Yours, forever,  
Zepp

 

01/15 9:03AM Cas → Dean   
Dean I'm freakin out here.

01/15 9:05AM Dean → Cas  
Why? What's wrong??

01/15 9:05AM Dean → Cas  
Are you okay?

01/15 9:06AM Cas → Dean   
I just got to 2nd period and I took my seat up front like always and when I slid my backpack off my shoulder it pulled my shirt down. I heard Adler's breath catch. I'm pretty sure he saw it Dean! I'm almost positive he saw the mating bite you left on me.

01/15 9:08AM Cas → Dean   
Oh God Dean! What if he did?!

01/15 9:08AM Dean → Cas  
Okay, don't freak out.

01/15 9:09AM Dean → Cas  
I mean, your backpack goes right over it right? Maybe it looked like the bag rubbed against you?

01/15 9:09AM Dean → Cas  
Or maybe it just... flashed?

01/15 9:10AM Cas → Dean  
No Dean, he saw it. I just know. He won't quit looking at me and he just walked down the aisle to help the person behind me. He bent down and his hand grazed my shirt. He apologized but I know he was trying to get a closer look.

01/15 9:11AM Dean → Cas  
He fucking TOUCHED you?

01/15 9:11AM Dean → Cas  
Sorry, sorry, not the point, I know

01/15 9:11AM Dean → Cas  
But who the hell does he think he is? He has no right to touch you, none.

01/15 9:12AM Dean → Cas  
And, even if he DID see it... what can he do? It's not like seniors don't end up mated sometimes. It's none of his fucking business

01/15 9:12AM Dean → Cas  
Don't worry baby

01/15 9:12AM Cas → Dean   
I just, Dean, I have a really really bad feeling about this.

01/15 9:12AM Dean → Cas  
I promise you Cas, he can't do shit. Let him be curious. Let him judge. Fuck him.

01/15 9:13AM Dean → Cas  
You're okay baby.

01/15 9:13AM Cas → Dean   
I don't feel okay Dean. I don't feel okay at all.

01/15 9:14AM Dean → Cas  
Cas... what are you afraid of? Like, what do you think he's gonna do?

01/15 9:15AM Cas → Dean  
I don't know Dean! But he could potentially cause a lot of problems. What if he goes to the nurse? They like matings documented. Then they would contact my parents, Dean. My parents! What do you think my dad will say?! Oh God my heart is pounding and I feel sick.

01/15 9:17AM Dean → Cas  
Baby, we will figure it out okay? I'll be 18 next week and idk, maybe if they call you in about it we can make it so they have to tell me? It's an old school rule that the Alpha in a mating trumps parents, but it wouldn't hurt to try.

01/15 9:19AM Cas → Dean  
That's true, if worse comes to worse mate trumps parents, and they can't keep me from you. As much as I HATE saying this because I think it's demeaning, in the eyes of the law I belong to you now.

01/15 9:20AM Cas → Dean  
That doesn't mean my dad still wouldn't make my life a living hell.

01/15 9:21AM Cas → Dean   
We are both still in HS, what would we do if our parents found out? What could we do?

01/15 9:21AM Dean → Cas  
Well, if the nurse goes for it, I can demand she doesn't tell your parents. She will think I'm a controlling Alpha but her opinion doesn't matter to me

01/15 9:22AM Dean → Cas  
My dad... I don't know what he would say. He would be pissed but probably just ignore me and I don't care what he thinks either, not when it comes to you.

01/15 9:22AM Cas → Dean   
Well Dean, YOU know what my dad would do.

01/15 9:23AM Cas → Dean   
Adler just called me out in front of everyone, asked if I was feeling okay, said I looked a little pale. Asked if I needed to see the nurse for any reason. He knows. Dean. I know he does.

01/15 9:23AM Cas → Dean   
I need my Alpha.

01/15 9:24AM Dean → Cas  
Go to the third floor bathroom. I'll meet you there.

01/15 9:24AM Dean → Cas  
I promise everything will be okay. We will figure it out baby.

01/15 9:25AM Cas → Dean   
Adler won't let me leave. He told me I could wait until after class. That if I felt the need to leave now, he would escort me to the nurse's office.

01/15 9:26AM Dean → Cas  
I'm going to kill him.

01/15 9:26 Dean → Cas  
35 minutes and class will be over. Just hang on baby. We will skip next period, okay?

01/15 9:27AM Cas → Dean   
Yeah, yeah that sounds good. I feel like I'm suffocating. I need to get out of here, Dean. Can we just leave?

01/15 9:27AM Dean → Cas  
Yes, let me tell Sam so he doesn't get worried not seeing me in lunch. Just hold on, class will be over soon.

01/15 9:28AM Cas → Dean   
Not soon enough Alpha, not soon enough.

 

 

 

01/15 6:00PM Dean → Cas  
Hey Cas, how are you doing?

01/15 8:42PM Dean → Cas  
I'm getting ready for bed now, Sammy and I had tacos for dinner because what ELSE would you have on taco Tuesday? What did you guys eat?

01/15 9:06PM Dean → Cas  
I guess maybe you fell asleep early... I hope you get some good rest and I'll see you in the morning. Meet me in the library before class?

01/15 9:07PM Dean → Cas  
Love you.

 

 

01/16 8:05AM Dean → Cas  
Cas?! Are you okay?? I'm really bad at this bond feeling thing but it felt like this last night and now you're not here at school and I feel anxious and scared and I don't think that's all me. 

01/16 8:06AM Dean → Cas  
Why aren't you here? Where are you?

01/16 8:10AM Dean → Cas  
Cas, answer me baby, come on.

01/16 8:22AM Dean → Cas  
Cas?

01/16 8:23AM 411 → Dean   
Error 411: The number you have contacted via SMS is unavailable. Possible causes of this are the following; The number you are trying to reach is out of the service zone, this number has been disconnected or you have been blocked by this number. Please report any unknown errors to 1-800-375-8873.

 

 


	5. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **TRIGGER WARNING** for bruising comparable to abuse. There are pictures, they're in a row and can be skipped. They are NOT actual abuse photos - they are all from motorbike accidents and one manipulation by myself from a Charmed photo.

Wednesday  
January 16th, 2008

Cas,

I am freaking the fuck out here. You’re not answering any of my texts, my phone calls aren’t going through, and every time I keep trying, I’m getting the error messages that your phone has been disconnected. I’ve spent the last half hour trying to focus on you, too, through the bond and all I feel is overwhelming sadness and anxiety and panic.

What the hell is going on?!

I don’t know what to do here. I don’t know what the fuck to do and I am freaking out. Your brothers are here, but you’re not. I know it’s not your heat, and you’ve never missed school before.

Should I come to your house? Should I try to talk to your brothers? Should I go to the nurse and demand she give me your house phone number so I can make sure you’re okay? Would that get you in trouble? I need to know that you’re okay.

All I can think is that I left you yesterday afternoon and you were feeling worried about Alder’s class and him seeing your mating bite, and I told you it would be okay. I told you you were fine. I told you to go home and get some sleep and relax and then you smiled and left and now you’re just gone. Was I wrong? Did Alder do something?

Maybe I should go ask the nurse…

Fuck, I don’t even know what I would say!! She won’t believe me about our mating unless she sees your mark too, and like hell is she going to give me anything.

Maybe I should ask Middle-Guido-Alpha where you are…

Fuck. Cas, please be okay.

Thursday  
January 17th, 2008

Cas,

I still haven’t been able to reach you… Sam kinda knew something was up yesterday after school and I told him what happened. He rolled his eyes and said we were stupid mating so young, but promised he would poke around a bit with the kids in your poetry club today at school and see if any of them know what’s going on. He also said to give it another day and see if you came into school today or tomorrow…

I’m going to try my damndest but if you’re not here tomorrow? I’m heading right over to your house on Friday afternoon and seeing what the fuck is going on.

I can still feel your anxiety and sadness through our bond and it’s breaking my heart not knowing what’s going on or how I can help you. You aren’t scared today though, so I can at least hope that you’re safe.

I miss you, Cas, and either way I will be seeing you tomorrow.

I love you,  
Dean

01/18 5:23PM Cas → Dean  
Dean, oh God. I’m so glad to have a way to contact you. My brother Lucifer just gave me this phone and our notebook. What the hell was my oldest brother doing with our notebook, Dean? And he said the phone was from you. How the hell did you get it to him? I asked him and he told me to talk to you. You’d explain everything.

01/18 5:24PM Cas → Dean  
Also, I read your letters. Please don’t come here Dean! Just please don’t. It will only make things worse.

01/18 5:24PM Dean → Cas  
Jesus fucking Christ, Castiel.

01/18 5:24PM Dean → Cas  
Do you know how fucking worried I was? Are you okay?

01/18 5:25PM Dean → Cas  
What the hell is going on? Where have you been? What happened?

01/18 5:25PM Dean → Cas  
Are you okay?

01/18 5:26PM Cas → Dean  
Dean, I just, I don’t wanna talk about it yet. How about you tell me how Lucifer got involved in all of this. I promise I will tell you what happened Dean, but why don’t you start first?

01/18 5:27PM Dean → Cas  
I am not telling you anything unless you tell me if you’re okay, Cas. Come on, baby. I am fucking freaking out here.

01/18 5:28PM Cas → Dean  
I’m as fine as I can be, Dean.

01/18 5:29PM Dean → Cas  
Cas... I will come get you if you need me to.

01/18 5:31PM Cas → Dean  
Like I said, you coming here right now would just make things worse. Thank you, though. God, I have missed you, Dean. I love you, Alpha.

01/18 5:32PM Dean → Cas  
I’ve missed you, too. It’s so fucking good to hear from you.

01/18 5:34PM Dean → Cas  
I had no idea what to expect when I saw Luc waiting for me after school on Thursday. I barely recognized him and did not know what to do when there was a huge fucking angel sitting on the front of my car waiting for me…

01/18 5:36PM Dean → Cas  
I guess either Middle Guido or Baby Guido cleaned out your locker. Luc rescued the notebook from the top of the pile, I guess and figured out who I was… Not really clear on how he did that but, I’m not upset he did. He told me that your dad took your phone and that things were pretty shitty at home right now, but he wouldn’t elaborate.

01/18 5:37PM Dean → Cas  
He did say your dad found out you were mated… but that he didn’t know the details. Your other brothers don’t have any idea either and he told me to keep it that way and not to approach them at school. We made plans to meet this afternoon so that I could get you the prepaid phone since you don’t have yours anymore.

01/18 5:37PM Dean → Cas  
What the hell is going on Cas?

01/18 5:40PM Cas → Dean  
I was right about Adler. He did see. What I didn’t know was that he and Dad are friends. Dean, he told my dad. And when he saw the mark, he flipped out. He demanded I tell him who I mated with, called me all kinds of names when I refused. Then he took my phone and tried to make me give him my password and when I said no, well, I’m sure you can figure out what happened next. He won’t give it back and shut the service off. And I can’t go back to school until all the bruises heal. It would have been a hell of a lot worse, but Luc stepped in and stopped Dad.

01/18 5:41PM Dean → Cas  
I’m going to fucking kill him

01/18 5:41PM Dean → Cas  
I’m going to fucking kill both of them

01/18 5:41PM Dean → Cas  
What the fuck do you mean bruises?

01/18 5:42PM Dean → Cas  
I’m sorry baby, I’m didn’t mean to swear at you.

01/18 5:42PM Dean → Cas  
I’m coming to get you. I don’t care. You can’t stay there!

01/18 5:44PM Cas → Dean  
Bruises, Dean. I’m sure you know how they got there. Hell, you said your Dad has slapped you around before. And I’m fine, Dean. Dad won’t even look at me. I make him sick, he told me so himself. Just another Omega whore. He’s leaving for a two week long business trip Sunday, so don’t come. You do and he will definitely figure out who my mate is.

01/18 5:45PM Cas → Dean  
Sorry I said that about your dad, Dean. That was out of line, and rude.

01/18 5:46PM Dean → Cas  
You are not a whore. Don’t listen to a fucking word that bastard says to you, Cas. He’s fucking wrong.

01/18 5:47PM Dean → Cas  
How many bruises? Where are they. What did he actually do?. I want to see.

01/18 5:50PM Cas → Dean  
Lots of bruises. Black eyes, swollen nose, busted lip, bruises on my ribs and stomach. He beat the shit out of me Dean, that's what he did.

01/18 5:51PM Cas → Dean  
It’s hard not to listen to him, Dean. He’s my dad. He’s supposed to love me, to take care of me, but instead he despises me. How could someone hate their own child so much, just because of their secondary gender?

01/18 5:53PM Dean → Cas  
Baby, how am I supposed to leave you there? You’re not safe there, either physically or mentally. He’s WRONG. Everything about this is wrong. And I want to kill him for what he did to you.

01/18 5:55PM Dean → Cas  
Cas, please let me get you. I won’t come to the door, I’ll stay down the block. Luc can help you get out of the house and I will protect you from your dad. I can’t just let you stay there, Cas. Not when he’s hurt you. Not when you can’t promise me it won’t happen again.

01/18 5:56PM Cas → Dean  
Dean, where would we go? Huh? I’m sure your dad wouldn’t be accepting of your angel mate staying with you. I told you he won’t even look at me, and he's leaving in two days. I’m fine.

01/18 5:56PM Cas → Dean  
I wish school was over and we could get the hell out of here now.

01/18 5:57PM Dean → Cas  
It’s not fine, Cas!

01/18 5:57PM Dean → Cas  
I don’t give a shit what my dad thinks. Would he be pissed? Yeah, probably. But would he act like your dad? No, he wouldn’t.

01/18 5:58PM Dean → Cas  
And what the hell is going to happen in those two days, huh? What if he stops ignoring you and decides to take out whatever the fuck his problem is on you again, huh? I would NEVER forgive myself.

01/18 6:00PM Cas → Dean  
The plan was to keep us under wraps until we left this hell hole. Do you realize how much shit we would go through if people found out about us? Have you stopped to think about that, about the bigger picture?

01/18 6:01PM Dean → Cas  
FINE

01/18 6:02PM Dean → Cas  
I’m so sorry that your fucking well-being is more important to me than what the fucking assholes at school think.

01/18 6:05PM Dean → Cas  
I am your Alpha, Cas. How dare I want to keep you safe and healthy and happy? But, since you seem to have it all fucking figured out on your own? FINE. I’m glad you’re okay. I’m glad you don’t need me. I’m glad you would rather stay with your asshole father who BEATS you then come with someone who fucking loves you and cares about you.

01/18 6:06PM Dean → Cas  
How about you text me if you actually need me.

01/18 6:07PM Cas → Dean  
You just don’t get it. Dean. I’m just thinking about what's best for US. You think my dad is an asshole, well, there are a hell of a lot more people in this town worse than him. And when they find out about us, we BOTH will be dealing with this shit. I don’t want that, Dean.

01/18 6:10PM Cas → Dean  
I love you and I know you love me, so tell me, Dean. Tell me what to do. What’s going to be best for us and not just in this moment, but in the long run.

01/18 6:18PM Dean → Cas  
Come with me, Cas. I know you think it will cause more problems, but we can face everything together. In six days I will be 18. I am already your Alpha. I can protect you. Staying there where you’re in danger? That’s not going to help either one of us.

01/18 6:19PM Dean → Cas  
I do not care what people have to say behind our backs, Cas. I don’t. Because in a few months we’re gone and all we’re going to have is you and me. We are what matters, not anyone else.

01/18 6:19PM Cas → Dean  
Okay, Dean.

01/18 6:21PM Dean → Cas  
Okay? Okay, as in what?

01/18 6:22PM Cas → Dean  
Okay, as in, I’ll think about it.

01/18 6:24PM Dean → Cas  
Fucking seriously, Cas? You’ll think about it?

01/18 7:02PM Dean → Cas  
Cas?

01/18 7:03PM Dean → Cas  
Baby, talk to me.

01/18 7:05PM Cas → Dean  
I’m going to bed, Dean. I promise I will think about it. I love you.

01/18 7:06PM Dean → Cas  
Okay.

01/19 11:26AM Dean → Cas  
You too.

01/19 11:26AM Dean → Cas  
So, sorry to be that guy but did you make a decision yet?

01/19 11:32AM Cas → Dean  
I have. I thought about it all night, and with some help from Luc, I think I’ve came up with something that will make us both happy.

01/19 11:33AM Dean → Cas  
Babe... I know Luc helped us out and all, but I kind of doubt I'm going to be happy about anyone in your family "helping"

01/19 11:33AM Dean → Cas  
Unless you can prove me wrong. I don't trust any of them, not really

01/19 11:33AM Dean → Cas  
They haven't been there for you at all. As far as I knew, your brothers were all shits

01/19 11:33AM Dean → Cas  
And now Luc is on your side?

01/19 11:37AM Cas → Dean  
Dean, you weren't here when my Dad beat the hell out of me. My brothers, Gadreel and Inias stood back and watched. They listened as Dad explained that this is how you put an Omega in their place. Luc wasn't here. He came in while I was balled up on the floor trying to protect my ribs from my dad's boots. He stepped in Dean. He challenged my dad. Luc has not always been there for me, but he's also never agreed with Dad’s methods. But he stood up for me, Dean. He cleaned me up, held me while I cried and apologized to me for never standing up to Dad before now and swore to me it would NEVER happen again, he wouldn't let it.

01/19 11:38AM Dean → Cas  
I am glad he was there for you, Cas. I fucking am, don't get me wrong. But I don't forgive him for the years he DID sit by and watch your dad treat you like shit.

01/19 11:38AM Dean → Cas  
He stepped up when your life was in danger, and I appreciate that, but I don't forgive him.

01/19 11:39AM Dean → Cas  
But I trust you, baby. And if you think Luc will protect you? I'll believe you. BUT he can't be with you all the time. How does this fix the problem? You're still in a house that is dangerous for you.

01/19 11:40AM Cas → Dean  
I'm not going to be in this house much longer, Dean. That's how the problem will be fixed.

01/19 11:40AM Dean → Cas  
What does that mean?

01/19 11:42AM Cas → Dean  
Luc has been looking for an apartment for some time now. He finally found the complex he wanted to move into and filled out the paperwork for a one bedroom there. Well, he came to me this morning and told me that he called and told the landlord he was going to need a two bedroom instead. He told me he wasn't moving out and leaving me here. When I said Dad would stop me he reminded me he can't. I have an Alpha, so what Dad says doesn't mean shit. He can't stop me, Dean, and the best part is that the apartment is only a block from school.

01/19 11:42AM Cas → Dean  
So, I'm out of this house, and we don't have to come out as mated and deal with assholes like my dad and we can get the hell out of here in June.

01/19 11:44AM Cas → Dean  
What do you think, Dean?

01/19 11:45AM Cas → Dean  
Oh and Luc said you are welcome there anytime as long as we keep our uh 'activities' in my bedroom and we don't stink up the house with our sex smells.

01/19 11:45AM Dean → Cas  
I don't really know what to say…

01/19 11:46AM Dean → Cas  
On the one hand I think it's a fantastic idea, but I’m worried that your dad isn't going to give a shit what his legal rights are at all and when you tell him, or when he sees you packing, you're going to get hurt

01/19 11:46AM Dean → Cas  
When will Luc know about the apartment?

01/19 11:47AM Cas → Dean  
Luc has already been approved. He's paid first and last months rent, so we can move in anytime.

And we aren't telling Dad. He leaves for a two week business trip tomorrow. Mom will be gone, too, so we are packing up tomorrow night and getting the hell out of here on Monday.

01/19 11:48AM Dean → Cas  
What about Guido dumb and dumber? Won't they squeal to your parents?

01/19 11:49AM Cas → Dean  
Gadreel and Inias are both going to stay with friends for a few days, until mom gets back from her retreat with the ladies from her Rotary Club. Luc offered to 'babysit' me, make sure I don't try to go anywhere, which will give us time to get the hell away from here.

01/19 11:49AM Dean → Cas  
Do you need help moving? Sammy and I can help

01/19 11:50AM Dean → Cas  
And fuck, baby, I need to see you.

01/19 11:51AM Cas → Dean  
That would be great, Dean. The more people, the quicker we can get everything done and get the hell out of this house.

01/19 11:51AM Cas → Dean  
And I need to see you, too, Alpha. I've missed you so damn much. What I wouldn't give to be held by you and to kiss you.

01/19 11:52AM Dean → Cas  
Good. It might be Luc and Sammy doing all the work because once I have you in my arms, I'm not sure I'll be able to let you go.

01/19 11:53AM Cas → Dean  
They are both big and strong, I'm sure they can handle it.

01/19 11:53AM Dean → Cas  
I am going out of my skin... I want to see you now. When will everyone be gone tomorrow? How early can we come?

01/19 11:54AM Cas → Dean  
Everyone will be gone by 3 and we plan on working until we get everything done. Who knows, with Sam's and your help, maybe we can be moved in tomorrow instead of Monday.

One good thing is the apartment came fully furnished. So it's just personal items we have to pack.

01/19 11:55AM Dean → Cas  
I will be down the block at 2:45. The MOMENT everyone is gone and it's safe for us to come, let me know.

01/19 11:55AM Dean → Cas  
And that's good. I saw Luc's truck the other day, so between that and the backseat of my Impala, there will be plenty of room to bring everything

01/19 11:56AM Cas → Dean  
Good, I can't wait. I want to get as far away from this house as possible and start over.

01/19 11:58AM Cas → Dean  
I offered to get a job and help Luc with rent since it's higher because he went with a two bedroom. He told me that he could handle it, but I still think I'm going to get a job and try to help him some. I saw that Baskin Robbins is hiring.

01/19 11:59AM Dean → Cas  
I can't wait either. I hate that you're still in that house.

01/19 12:00PM Dean → Cas  
God, Cas, I miss you so fucking much.

01/19 12:00PM Dean → Cas  
And Baskin Robbins? Dude, could you get us free ice cream?!

01/19 12:03PM Cas → Dean  
I miss you so so much Dean. I didn't think it was possible to miss someone so much your heart hurt.

Free ice cream, really?! Silly Alpha, I don't think they would appreciate me giving the goods away for free. But I heard employees get a discount. So, if I get the job and you come see me, I will give you a cone for half price. ;)

01/19 12:04PM Dean → Cas  
Sexy, makes me pie for holidays, and gives me discounted ice cream? How did I get so lucky?

01/19 12:05PM Dean → Cas  
Seriously, though, I think if you wanna work then it's a good idea. Maybe I'll look for a job too... I've been thinking about it, lately, save up for us for when we get out to Cali.

01/19 12:06PM Cas → Dean  
I'm the lucky one. I'm so glad you are not a traditional Alpha, that you don't mind me going to college or getting a job. I really don't think I could've lived like I do now for the rest of my life. I love you, Dean.

01/19 12:08PM Dean → Cas  
Baby, there's a reason that trend is going out of style and why it's from the last generation: they were fucking stupid.

01/19 12:08PM Dean → Cas  
We wouldn't be anywhere without Omegas, every Alpha knows that. And I'm just glad I snagged a sexy, smart, funny one for myself and that he puts up with me.

01/19 12:09PM Dean → Cas  
I love you, too.

01/19 12:11PM Cas → Dean  
I just hate that even though I will be living with Luc by Monday I still won't be able to go to school. I hate missing school. I can't wait until my face heals so I can go back. I would just say fuck it and go, but there would be too many questions asked, ones I don't want to answer.

01/19 12:12PM Cas → Dean  
I also hope my sore ribs don't get in the way of me packing tomorrow. They are healing, but still hurt pretty bad.

01/19 12:13PM Dean → Cas  
You're going to have to take it easy and let us help you. You can pack and lift the little stuff, but nothing too heavy.

01/19 12:13PM Dean → Cas  
I know your brothers brought home your assignments and stuff... Will Luc still be able to do that for you? Hopefully it's just a few more days because I hate you not being at school either.

01/19 12:16PM Dean → Cas  
I did get Ms. Milton to assign us as partners for the biology project by being late on purpose... Made sure to throw a fit about being assigned with the sexy angel (left the sexy part out though). We can work on it this week and maybe I can use that as an excuse to get your stuff, since we just HAVE to see each other for this project

01/19 12:20PM Cas → Dean  
I think that would work out well. Luc can call the office and let the counselor know that you will be picking up my work. He has to call anyway and inform them of my address change… and the nurse to inform them of my mating. He assured me, I don't have to tell her who my mate is, that she will just document it and look at my mark. I can also tell the school that my mating has caused issues at home and my Alpha does not want any information passed on to my father if he should call asking about me.

01/19 12:21PM Dean → Cas  
If they give you trouble, I will go down there. I know we planned on keeping it secret until graduation, but your safety comes first.

01/19 12:24PM Cas → Dean  
Always putting my needs first, you truly are a wonderful Alpha.

01/19 12:25PM Dean → Cas  
Of course, baby.

01/19 12:25PM Dean → Cas  
Just wish I could’ve been there when you actually needed me.

01/19 12:26PM Cas → Dean  
There's no way you could have known what was going to happen to me. So don’t go blaming yourself for it.

01/19 12:27PM Dean → Cas  
You were worried, Cas! All day you were worried about what happened and I brushed it off and told you things were okay. I should’ve listened to you. We should’ve… I don’t know.

01/19 12:27PM Dean → Cas  
You never should’ve gone home.

01/19 12:29PM Cas → Dean  
What's done is done. I’m ready to move past it, Dean. Like I said, there was no way you could have known what was going to happen.

01/19 12:30PM Dean → Cas  
It’s my job to protect you, and I failed at that. Now, Luc is the one protecting you.

01/19 12:30PM Dean → Cas  
I am glad you’re safe, and in the end that’s what matters… but I don’t deserve you calling me a good Alpha.

01/19 12:31PM Cas → Dean  
But you are, Dean. You a very good Alpha. Had you known what was going to happen, I have no doubt you would have been here protecting me.

01/19 12:32PM Dean → Cas  
It’s not good enough, Cas. You DID get hurt.

01/19 12:33PM Cas → Dean  
Yes, and the only person at fault is my father. He’s the one that hurt me, not you Dean. So don’t you dare think you’re at fault because you couldn’t have predicted what would happen to me.

01/19 12:34PM Cas → Dean  
And don’t you dare try to argue with your Omega on that. Don’t you know I’m always right?

01/19 12:35PM Dean → Cas  
Yes, Cas.

01/19 12:37PM Cas → Dean  
I love you, Dean.

01/19 12:38PM Dean → Cas  
I love you, too, Cas.

Monday  
January 21st, 2008

Dearest Dean,

Since you dropped the code names in the last few letters you wrote I saw no sense in using them. I sincerely hope it didn't freak you out having Luc leaned up against your car waiting for you after school to deliver this letter. He told me he wasn't ‘my personal delivery boy’ but he smiled and took the book, so I know he didn't care.

Oh, and I finally got out of him how he knew about us. Apparently, hiding the notebook between my mattress was a ‘cliche teen thing’ and he found it while snooping like all big brothers do. I told him I didn't appreciate him snooping, but he said I had been overly happy and wanted to make sure I wasn't on drugs. He also said that his punishment for being a snoop was reading about all the things you did to me. His face actually paled when he told me no big brother should have to know how kinky their little brother is.

Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for helping out over the weekend, you and your brother. It was very kind of you both. It feels so good to be out of that house. We have only been here two days and it feels more like home than that place ever did.

It felt so good to see you, Dean. I had missed you so much, it felt as if a part of me was hollow those days I went without seeing or talking to you. I'm so glad we will never have to do that again. Also Luc wanted me to tell you that you and Skywalker (are we still using your brother’s code name?) are invited over for dinner Wednesday after Sam has Poetry Club.

Luc called the school today and informed them of my address change. He let the counselor know you would be picking up my work for the week and that I would be returning next Monday. I should be fully healed by then. I also spoke the nurse. She documented our mating. I didn't have to give her your name, but if my dad calls demanding information you will need to step forward. She assured me that it would remain confidential and that no one but she would know who my Alpha was.

I told Luc to invite you and Skywalker over today just because I want to see you so bad, and I'm sincerely hoping you guys can come. I just want to see you, if only for a few minutes. I love and miss you, Dean.

Love Always, your mate, your Omega,  
Cas

P.S. Don't forget to pick up my school work. Oh, and I've enclosed Luc’s number in case you should ever need it. 555-2298

Tuesday,  
January 22nd, 2008

Hey baby,

No, I didn't intentionally ditch the nicknames, but... I say fuck it anyways. If people end up finding out? We only have 4 1/2 more months left in this hell hole anyways. I can't wait to get out of here...

Seriously, the only thing I'm gonna miss is seeing Sammy all the time. Just, don't tell him that (and yes, Sammy is fine).

I am starting to get used to seeing Luc, though it does still throw me off a bit. That's more because of the fact that he literally doesn't seem to care that everyone stares at us when we talk. I know people wonder why I was talking to an angel after school, and when they realize he's a Novak brother the questions increase. Benny told me today in sociology that he'd heard a rumor that I was the reason you were out, that I had beaten you up (I think your brothers spilled a bit that you were hurt, though I doubt they brought up any family stuff (and I've heard nothing about you being mated either). It took everything in me not to snap. The idea that I would hurt you, that I could be capable, made me so fucking angry... I laughed it off and Benny seemed to know something was off, but he didn't push.

If I need to come out to the nurse as your Alpha, I have no problem doing so. I will tell her tomorrow, if you think it's best, just to get it out of the way?

I'll check with Sammy, but I bet he would love to get out of the house for a bit to see you. He was acting a little weird this morning and kept asking when you were going to be back at school... I think he likes you more than he likes me! I don't know... I asked him if everything was okay and he just rolled his eyes at me. Should we bring anything for dinner?

I miss you. I can't wait until you're back at school so I can just stare at you from across the courtyard and down the hallways like a freak. (Does sarcasm transfer in this?) I just want you to be back and have all this stuff with your family behind you.

I love you.  
Dean

And no, I will not forget your stuff. I promise.

Friday  
January 25th, 2008

Dearest Dean,

Is it crazy that I miss you? You’re at school right now and I know you're coming over when you get out, but I still miss you. I can't wait to be back in school on Monday. I miss my friends and I miss seeing you around in the halls.

Dinner Wednesday was great. I had so much fun with you, Sam, and Luc. It felt like family. Sam even asked for my phone number. I'm so happy he wants to talk to me even when you are not around. That he so openly accepts us. Last night was great, too. I'm glad you liked the birthday pie I made for you, and the Led Zeppelin vinyl I gave you.

My favorite part of last night was when we went back to my room and put on the record and you made love to me. I know it hasn't been that long since we last had sex, but I missed your hands and lips mapping out my body. I missed the feel of you pressing inside of me, how our bodies moved in tandem until your knot swelled, tying us together as you spill your release deep inside me and I paint your chest with my seed. It was definitely worth the teasing I had to endure from Luc after you left.

School is almost out and I'm counting the minutes until I see you. I love you so much, Alpha. Love Always, your mate, your Omega, Cas

P.S. Maybe we can listen to another record in my room tonight. ;)

01/27 1:18PM Sam → Cas  
Cas?? This is Sam

01/27 1:20PM Cas → Sam  
Hi, Sam.

01/27 1:22PM Cas → Sam  
How are you?

01/27 1:24PM Sam → Cas  
I'm doing okay. Just working on some homework. How are you?

01/27 1:27PM Cas → Sam  
Doing good, just finished up all my class work. I'm ready to get back to school tomorrow.

01/27 1:29PM Sam → Cas  
Yeah, I don't blame you... Dean is excited to have you going back, too.

01/27 1:31PM Sam → Cas  
He won't shut up about it.

01/27 1:35PM Sam → Cas  
So... can I ask you something kind of personal?

01/27 1:37PM Cas → Sam  
You can ask me anything Sam.

01/27 1:38PM Sam → Cas  
It's kind of embarrassing…

01/27 1:40PM Cas → Sam  
Like I said, you can talk to me about anything. I would never judge or laugh at you.

01/27 1:42PM Sam → Cas  
How did you realize you were... you know

01/27 1:44PM Cas → Sam  
I need a little more information than that Sam. Gay?

01/27 1:45PM Sam → Cas  
God, no.

01/27 1:45PM Sam → Cas  
Not that there's anything wrong with that!!!

01/27 1:46PM Sam → Cas  
I mean... an Omega

01/27 1:46PM Cas → Sam  
Ohhhh, okay.

01/27 1:47PM Cas → Sam  
Well, there were little signs. I didn't realize that's what they were at the time.

01/27 1:49PM Sam → Cas  
... Like what?

01/27 1:50PM Cas → Sam  
Like, I would get hot even in a cold room. It would last for a few minutes, then pass. I would get bad stomach pain that came and went. I was moody at times. I could be in a great mood then all at once be sad or snappish. And shortly before I presented... This may be TMI but I would notice wet spots in my underwear, that I later learned were from my slick glands forming.

01/27 1:51PM Sam → Cas  
Oh.

01/27 1:52PM Sam → Cas  
Were your parents... I mean, did you tell them?

01/27 1:53PM Cas → Sam  
I didn't. I didn't know what was going on and even before I presented my parents were always too busy for me. They didn't find out until I did, until I went into a full blown heat and realized that was what those signs were.

01/27 1:54PM Cas → Sam  
My body preparing itself to be an Omega.

01/27 1:55PM Cas → Sam  
Why do you ask, Sam?

01/27 1:56PM Sam → Cas  
I... I'm pretty sure that's what's happening to me.

01/27 1:58PM Sam → Cas  
I don't know... I don't remember Dean complaining about anything, but my dad keeps asking when I'll pop a knot and I just…

01/27 2:00PM Sam → Cas  
My gut screams NEVER. I don't think... I don't know.

01/27 2:01PM Cas → Sam  
Are you experiencing any of the symptoms I named?

01/27 2:03PM Sam → Cas  
Yes... I feel super moody lately and I woke up yesterday and started crying for literally no reason. Like, Dean made waffles and I was just so happy about it. And... the underwear thing, too.

01/27 2:05PM Cas → Sam  
Have you talked to your dad or Dean about any of this?

01/27 2:07PM Sam → Cas  
No!!! And you can't tell Dean, Cas. You can't.

01/27 2:07PM Sam → Cas  
Dad is going to be so upset and Dean will tell him and want to get all... big brother protector bullshit on me and just... I can't

01/27 2:09PM Cas → Sam  
I promise I won't tell anyone Sam, even Dean. But Sam, if these things are happening, you will be presenting soon. Dean is a good Alpha. He can be a bit over protective, but he's respectful of Omegas. You tell him to back off he's being overbearing. He will. Trust me. I have had to do it a time or two.

01/27 2:10PM Cas → Sam  
Are you sure your father will be upset, Sam? I know by what Dean has told me that he's a little rough around the edges, but Dean also says that he's nothing like my family. He may surprise you.

01/27 2:11PM Sam → Cas  
He talks all the time about his Alpha sons... tells everyone who will listen about us, how Dean is cocky and steadfast with a good head on his shoulders, how I'm smart and quick on my feet and going places and... That's all going to change.

01/27 2:12PM Cas → Sam  
Sam, just because your secondary gender may be different from what you were expecting, it doesn't change you. You're still smart and quick on your feet and you're definitely going places. Being an Omega isn't going to change that.

01/27 2:14PM Sam → Cas  
I guess…

01/27 2:16PM Cas → Sam  
Omega's are strong, Sam. Don't let anyone make you think otherwise. Omegas can do anything an Alpha can do. Hell, probably better because we think with our brains, not our knots.

01/27 2:17PM Sam → Cas  
I'm scared, Cas.

01/27 2:20PM Cas → Sam  
I understand that. Had I known what was happening to me I would have been to. But you have me, Sam. I will be there for you anytime you need me, and so would Dean if you told him what was going on. I can't make you and I won't tell Dean, but I really think you should tell him your concerns. If you're not ready, though, I'm here, Sam.

01/27 2:21PM Sam → Cas  
What if he's upset, though?

01/27 2:22PM Cas → Sam  
Dean would never get upset over that. He's the kindest sweetest Alpha I have ever known, and I'm not just saying that because he's my mate. He respects Omegas, Sam, and if you present as one he won't think any less of you. I promise.

01/27 2:24PM Sam → Cas  
I could be wrong, I guess... I probably shouldn't worry him until I know for sure…

01/27 2:25PM Cas → Sam  
Until you are ready to tell him, I'm here for you. Any questions you have, anything you need.

01/27 2:27PM Sam → Cas  
Thank you, Cas. I really appreciate it.

01/27 2:29PM Cas → Sam  
No problem, Sam. You are family. I'll always be there for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys! We have fanart by anupalya <3 I have to tell you, I was SO stupidly excited and blown away when she messaged us and told us that something we wrote inspired her to make art!! I think that's the coolest thing ever. Here's her piece ♥
> 
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> So super cute, isn't it!? 


	6. Chapter Five

Monday,  
January 28th, 2008

Good morning, Cas!

I am probably more excited than I should be about getting to see you this morning. It’s not like I haven’t been able to see you ~~and seeing you outside of school actually means I get to spend time with you~~ but it’s… different. You being at school means you’re okay and things are better. So.. yeah, I can’t wait to see you.

Love, Dean

 

Hey,

I saw that you got here safely, and I saw that Luc brushed your brothers off when they approached you in the parking lot. I’m glad he chose to drop you off and wait around. Your brothers are nothing if not predictable. Luc put them in their place pretty quickly, so I’m glad that you have him. He’s a good Alpha ~~at least you have one of those in your life~~.

So… I also saw you talking with that angel friend of yours, the one you’re in Russian with? I can’t remember his name but… he was really, really happy to see you, too, this morning. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone look so fucking relieved to see their friend before and… it got me thinking.

Someone like that, someone who gets to call your name out across the courtyard and run up to you with a hug… someone like that, wouldn’t have gotten you beaten up.

I know your dad would’ve still been angry that you were mated, from the conversations we’ve had this past week, I think it has more to do with the fact he thinks it’s HIS choice on who you mate with, but… you would’ve been able to tell him. You would’ve been able to say you’d mated an angel Alpha from your class and then… you would be walking with them to the nurse to register, and you would holding their hand down the hallway, and you would be kissing them hello and goodbye before and after class and probably getting into their car at the end of the day to go home and ~~I just-~~

 

Wrap me in a bolt of lightning,  
 **Send me on my way still smiling  
** Maybe that’s the way I should go…  
Straight into the mouth of the unknown

I left the spare key on the table,  
Never really thought I’d be able  
To say that I’ll visit on the weekends,  
I lost my whole life and a dear friend

You would be happy, with someone like that, Cas. With someone who could give you everything you deserve to have right now and with someone who could actually keep you safe.

With me?

 ~~You have nothing~~ You have secrets and whispered conversations. You hide and sneak around the people that are important to you. You pretend that you’re indifferent and don’t care about someone who’s important to you and in return, you’re also ignored right back becasuse we can’t even acknowledge one another. I can’t hold your hand walking down the hallway. Hell I can’t even WALK with you in the hallway. I can’t yell your name across the courtyard in excitement at seeing you and at being so damn happy that you’re okay.

 

I finally put it all together, nothing really lasts forever  
I had to make a choice that was not mine,  
I had to say goodbye for the last time.

There is a reason our parents would be upset about our mating, Cas. I’ve damaged you. I’ve marked you and claimed you and as fucking happy as you have made me ~~and as much as I wish I could have you-~~ but we are young, and we are still growing, and maybe… maybe we did get swept up into strong emotions we weren’t fully prepared for. And it doesn’t matter, and we’ll never know, because we can never take it back. Even when you find someone better, even when you’re with an Alpha you can be with and one that is deserving of you and is there to love you openly and protect you and just fucking **be** with you, my mark will always be there, imprinted in your skin.

 

I’ll always keep you inside,  
You healed my heart and my life  
And you know I tried.  
Call me a sinner, call me a saint,  
Tell me it’s over, I’ll still love you the same  
Call me your favorite, call me the worst  
Tell me it’s over I don’t want you to hurt.

It’s not fair to you. You deserve so much better. You deserve a mate that can love you and will love you and will protect you and be with you and…

 

It’s all that I can say.  
So I’ll be on my way.  
[x](http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/shinedown/callme.html)

Dean

 

Monday,  
January 28th, 2008

Dean,

I honestly don’t know what to say after reading your last letter except WHAT THE FUCK, DEAN! Really? You know I can read the shit you scratch out right? Saying at least I have one good Alpha in my life? Yeah, Dean, YOU! How could you think you are not a good Alpha to me, Dean? Did I not make you feel like one?

And the friend, that was Balthazar. We have been friends since the 1st grade. Yeah, he was happy to see me and to see that I was okay, but he was also happy for US. I told him about OUR mating, Dean. Do you REALLY think I would want to be with an angel just because it would be easier? That I would give up my mate to be with someone I could never love as much, just to make life easier? Did I NOT make it clear that I am willing to fight for you, for US! The thought of another Alpha touching me, marking me, makes me sick. Does it not you? Are you so willing to find a demon mate because life would be simpler? Will you mark them, knot them, like you did me? What about love them, Dean? Will you love them?

June. We have about five months. You really can’t wait that long for me?

How DARE you presume someone else could make me happy! That anyone but YOU could give me everything I deserve, that anyone else would do a better job at keeping me safe. What happened was **not your fault**. No one could have stopped it.

Without you, I have nothing? Are you serious? I would rather have secrets and whispered conversations with my mate, the one I love, than be out in the open with someone that could never have my heart.

How could you fucking say you damaged me? That mark on my neck, I wear with pride. Don’t you?

Young? Yeah, we are, but I just see that as a blessing, that I get a longer life with you!

Swept up in our emotions? Sure, but tell me a set of mates that doesn’t happen to when they finally find the person who completes them.

Age plays no factor in that and you **know** it. I will never find another Alpha and I will never try. I already have the only one my inner Omega will ever want.

 

THE ONE  
I love with all my might.  
THE ONE  
I think of every night.  
THE ONE  
That makes me feel so right.  
THE ONE  
I dream of when I sleep at night.  
THE ONE  
I think of when I hold my pillow tight.  
THE ONE  
I’m not giving up without a fight.

Love Always, **YOUR** mate, **YOUR** Omega,  
Cas

P.S. Be the Alpha I know you are. Don’t give up on me, on us. Fight for us, Dean.

 

Monday,

January 28st, 2008

I’m sorry, Cas.

I’m not the Alpha you think I am.

~~You deserve the fucking world, Castiel. You deserve everything and I am failing. I am failing at being the Alpha you deserve. It kills me inside knowing you got hurt when I should’ve been there to protect you. If it were reversed, you would’ve been there for me. And then you didn’t even want me to protect you afterwards, because you knew that Luc could do a better job. You knew you would be safer with him, and that with me? --~~

I wonder if Balthazar would be a better mate to you. Or if an Angel would be better. Demons are naturally selfish. Maybe that’s why this happened… I feel like I trapped you. I feel like I forced you to be with me. I know we decided together. I know you say you want me and love me, but… there’s someone better for you and I just -

 

I think you can do much better than me,  
after all the lies I made you believe  
Guilt kicks in and I start to see,  
the edge of the bed where your t-shirt used to be  
I told myself I won’t miss you,  
but I remember what it feels like beside you  
I really miss your hair in my face,  
and the way your innocence tastes  
And I think you should know this…  
You deserve much better than me.  
[x](http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/hinder/betterthanme.html)

Monday,  
January 28th, 2008

Dean,

Call me stubborn, but I’m not quite ready to give up on my mate.

 

“I will break  
every fucking clock  
on this earth  
to prove that  
we are not bad timing.”  
[x](http://static.yourtango.com/cdn/farfuture/zUwKoT3ZWLdoFlphdDIHPnSgsyeZ880gukz-84LprlA/mtime:1484403094/sites/default/files/styles/body_image_default/public/image_list/14_12.jpg?itok=XM7rKw0Q)

“Never give up on something  
that you can't  
go a day  
without thinking  
About.”  
[x](http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/523604-never-give-up-on-something-that-you-can-t-go-a)

“I was never really sure  
if love was the worth fighting for.  
But then I looked into your eyes  
and now I'm ready for war.”  
[x](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ad/ae/53/adae53ea3ba93295a864082dbdaf595e.jpg)

“I love you means that I accept you for the person that you are, and that I do not wish to change you into someone else.  
It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times  
It means loving you even when you're in a bad mood,  
or too tired to do the things I want to do.  
It means loving you when you're down, not just when you're fun to be with  
I love you means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them,  
asking in return that you do not judge me for mine.  
It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love you enough not to let it go.  
It means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly.  
And hoping you feel the same way for me.”  
[x](http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/582025-i-love-you-means-that-i-accept-you-for-the)

Love Always, **YOUR** mate, **YOUR** Omega,  
Cas

P.S. Tell me you don’t love me and you want me to give up and I will. But that’s the only way I will. I love you, my Alpha, too much to just walk away.

 

02/02 11:00AM Luc → Dean  
Dean, it’s Lucifer. What the fuck is going on between you and my little brother? You haven’t been over all week, and Cas hasn’t been himself. He barely leaves his room. Tell me what the hell is going on.

02/02 11:16AM Dean → Luc  
If Cas hasn’t told you, I’m not really sure it’s any of your business.

02/02 11:17AM Luc → Dean  
Really? You're gonna get an attitude with me? And it is my business. He’s my brother and I’m worried. So I’m gonna ask once more and I don’t want a smart ass reply, just an answer.

02/02 11:18AM Dean → Luc  
Did you try asking him?

02/02 11:19AM Dean → Luc  
Since, you know, HE is your brother, not me.

02/02 11:20AM Luc → Dean  
Of course I asked him! Do you think I would be texting you, his mate, if I had been able to get anything out of him? The most he’s said was that you hadn’t been in school all week. And I know you haven’t been over here. So, what's going on with you two?

02/02 11:21AM Dean → Luc  
I’ve been sick. Nothing really to say.

02/02 11:22AM Dean → Luc  
Am I supposed to check in with my mate’s brother now whenever I am puking?

02/02 11:24AM Luc → Dean  
Bullshit. I don’t believe for one second you have been sick.

02/02 11:25AM Dean → Luc  
Yeah, well. Good thing you’re not my Alpha, then.

02/02 11:30AM Luc → Dean  
I’m not playing games with you. Tell me what the hell is going on, or so help me God, I will show up on your goddamn doorstep.

02/02 11:32AM Dean → Luc  
I’m not playing anything. I’m just not really sure what you’re looking for.

02/02 11:34AM Dean → Luc  
I can’t make it to school right now.

02/02 11:35AM Dean → Luc  
I hate that Cas is having a hard time, but he’s going to be okay.

02/02 11:37AM Dean → Luc  
He should talk to Balthazar.

02/02 11:38AM Luc → Dean  
Balthazar? Why the hell would he go to him over his mate? When was the last time you talked to Cas?

02/02 11:40AM Dean → Luc  
He’s his best friend? He’s an angel, too? They see each other every day?

02/02 11:41AM Luc → Dean  
I know who he is. What I was asking was why he would go to Zar over you, you know, since you are his mate. Even though you sure as hell are not acting like it. Like I asked before, when was the last time you talked to Cas?

02/02 11:43AM Dean → Luc  
Ummm, can you be more specific?

02/02 11:45AM Dean → Luc  
In person, in text, in our notebook?

02/02 11:48AM Luc → Dean  
You smart ass little fucker. If I get one more shit reply from you, I’m coming over there. So, once more, what’s going on with Cas and when was the last time the two of you spoke? And don’t test me, Dean.

02/02 11:49AM Dean → Luc  
Yeah, well.

02/02 11:50AM Dean → Luc  
I don’t really have anything good to come back with to that.

02/02 11:52AM Dean → Luc  
Nothing is going on with me and Cas. And I don’t mean that in a shitty way… just, nothing. He deserves better and… we made a mistake.

02/02 11:53AM Dean → Luc  
We or you? Cause I can tell you this, Dean, my brother is deeply in love with you. There's no way he thinks of your mating as a mistake.

02/02 11:48AM Luc → Dean  
I wish you could have known Cas before he found you. He was so sad, so alone, Dean. And God, I should have done something sooner, but I didn't know what to do. Then he changed. He was happy, like he found a reason to live.

02/02 12:05PM Dean → Luc  
Yeah, he also got beat up by his father, had to leave the house he grew up in, and has been living a lie for months because he’s not actually able to be himself or share that he’s happy with anyone without being hurt for it, emotionally AND physically. He deserves someone that can give him comfort when he’s sad, someone who can protect him from being hurt, someone that can talk to him and be with him any damn time of the day, and who can show how damn fucking lucky they are to HAVE him. He deserves to have someone proud to show him off, wanting to show him off, because they can’t even believe someone as awesome as Cas chose them. THEM out of every other Alpha he could’ve picked.

02/02 12:08PM Dean → Luc  
Because he deserves that. He deserves all of that, and he’s not getting it. What he IS getting is secrets, and being forced to hide himself and his feelings from literally everyone he knows. What he’s getting is a family who is turning against him because, god forbid, he chose to fall in love with someone. Do you honestly think if it had been Balthazar or another angel that your dad would’ve freaked out as much? Of course not. And do you know why? Because Cas would’ve been able to answer. He would’ve been able to say this, this angel, is my Alpha. And that would’ve been OKAY with absolutely everyone.

02/02 12:12PM Dean → Luc  
He would be walking down the hallway, holding his Alpha’s hand, kissing him goodbye before class, going to his house after school and riding the same bus or driving without worrying about getting harassed in the parking lot. He’d get normal teasing, asked about his sex life and all of that shit instead of being talked down to or made fun of because he stupidly chose a fuckin’ demon as a mate.

02/02 12:15PM Dean → Luc  
Cas deserves better and you know it, too.

02/02 12:20PM Luc → Dean  
Dad used to beat the shit outta him all the damn time. Getting out of that house was one of the best damn things that happened to him. And yeah, Dad would have been pissed no matter who Cas mated. You know why? He already had his Alpha picked. I'm not supposed to know this but I overheard him and mom talking one night. You know who Cas was supposed to be with, Dean? Zachariah Adler. But he's an angel, so that would have made Cas’ life easier, right? You would be okay with that, right? What Cas deserves is to be able to make his own damn choice Dean, not have the Alphas in his life doing it for him because THEY think they know what's best for him. You know who knows what is best for Cas, what Cas deserves? CAS! And as smart as he is, do you really think he didn't know what he was getting into mating you? You’re seniors. You have a few months left of school, and then you guys can get the hell out of this prejudice ass town. Don't you want that? Oh wait, that's right! Cas shouldn't have to hide those few months. He should be with his own kind. You know, Adler, like Dad intended.

02/02 12:24PM Luc → Dean  
And since you never answered my question about how long you haven't talked to Cas, I'm assuming it's been all week. How do you think that makes him feel, Dean? Since he presented, Dad would punish him by ignoring him, integrating into Cas that being ignored by his Alpha proved he was a bad Omega. I really thought you were different, Dean, that you loved my brother. Instead you're ignoring him and he's in his room probably trying to figure out what HE did wrong. Even though he wouldn’t admit it, deep down he thinks this shit is his fault.

02/02 12:26PM Luc → Dean  
Now, are you gonna stow your shit, step up, and be the Alpha you think Cas deserves, or are you going to toss him aside like Dad, all because you assumed you knew what's best for him. Tell me, Dean. Is my brother worth fighting for?

02/02 12:30PM Dean → Luc  
Doesn’t this just prove I’m not good enough for him? Why would you want an Alpha like me to be with your brother?

02/02 12:31PM Luc → Dean  
Haven’t you been paying attention? It’s not about what I want Dean. It’s about what Cas wants, and that’s you, his mate. So man up and text him. I’m sure he misses you, and I know you miss him.

02/02 12:32PM Dean → Luc  
What am I supposed to say to him???

02/02 12:33PM Luc → Dean  
The truth. That you're an idiot Alpha, like all us Alphas are. And that you love him. He’s a good Omega, and you are going to fight for what you two have.

02/02 12:33PM Dean → Luc  
Okay.

 

02/02 12:42PM Dean → Cas  
Hi

02/02 12:45PM Cas → Dean  
Hello, Dean

02/02 12:45PM Dean → Cas  
Hey, Cas.

02/02 12:46PM Cas → Dean  
Is there a reason you are texting me after a week of ignoring me?

02/02 12:48PM Dean → Cas  
Yes, there is.

02/02 12:49PM Dean → Cas  
I just… fuck, Cas. I am not good at this.

02/02 12:51PM Cas → Dean  
Try, Dean. I think I deserve at least that after not hearing shit from you for days.

02/02 12:52PM Dean → Cas  
I’m sorry, Cas.

02/02 12:54PM Dean → Cas  
I am sorry for the radio silence, though I can’t even really call it that. I was an asshole, and you didn’t deserve it. I shouldn’t have ignored you. I’m sorry that it hurt you, too. There really is no excuse, Cas. I just…

02/02 12:57PM Dean → Cas  
Freaked out? I guess. I don’t know. I just… I want everything to be good for you. I want you to be happy, and I feel like instead of doing that for you, I’m holding you back instead. I want to give you everything and I can’t right now.

02/02 1:00PM Cas → Dean  
I knew what I was signing on for when we mated, Dean. I knew things weren’t going to be easy, but this past week you hurt me a hell of a lot more than anyone else ever could. By trying to do what's best for me, you broke my heart.

02/02 1:05PM Dean → Cas  
I’m so damn sorry, Cas. I honestly thought I would be doing you a favor and that you would be happier if you could find someone better. And… I hurt you, which, I mean, you deserve an Alpha that’s not going to hurt you. But you chose me anyways, and I fucked up, and it took your brother reaming me out to get me to realize that I was wrong and I don’t know what to do here.

02/02 1:07PM Cas → Dean  
Luc messaged you! OMG seriously?! There you Alphas go, thinking you all know what’s best for me, or trying to fix shit for me.

02/02 1:09PM Dean → Cas  
I’m sorry… if you don’t want to talk to me, I understand. But don’t be mad at Luc. He was worried about you and he was able to get me to pull my head out of my ass.

02/02 1:10PM Cas → Dean  
Well, did it work? Is your head out of your ass now?

02/02 1:12PM Dean → Cas  
Yes? As much as it can be. I am a big dumb Alpha after all… Yours, if you still want me.

02/02 1:13PM Cas → Dean  
You are my mate. Of course, I still want you.

02/02 1:15PM Dean → Cas  
I’m sorry, Cas. I really am.

02/02 1:16PM Cas → Dean  
I forgive you. Just please don’t pull away from me like that again.

02/02 1:17PM Dean → Cas  
I don’t deserve your forgiveness, Cas. But I’m glad to have it.

02/02 1:17PM Dean → Cas  
I love you.

02/02 1:19PM Cas → Dean  
I love you, too, and God I have missed you so much.

02/02 1:21PM Dean → Cas  
I missed you too.

02/02 1:22PM Dean → Cas  
Even though I’m pretty sure Luc wants to kill me right now… Can I come over?

02/02 1:23PM Cas → Dean  
Yes, I would love for you to come over, and I promise Luc won’t kill you.

02/02 1:25PM Dean → Cas  
Okay. I’m on my way.

 

Monday,  
February 4th, 2008

Hey baby,

I am probably more excited than I should be that we have an early release today. They honestly should have teacher workshops more often. Why they picked a Monday, of all days, is beyond me… but beggars can’t be choosers!

How’s your morning going? I am sorry I didn’t meet you in the library this morning. Sammy was sick when we woke up, so I had to get him settled before I could get here and by the time I parked the car, the first bell had already rung. I hope you got my text and weren’t just waiting around for me?

There is something going on with him… I’m not sure what it is. He told me last week that he wanted to talk to me about something, but when I asked him he just said I had enough shit going on and that I didn’t need to worry about him, too. When I told him I was done being a dumbass and had apologized, he looked relieved but also… I don’t know how to explain it. Like I said, there’s something going on with him. I tried to push but he got angry and slammed the door to his room in my face. I don’t know if I should try talking to him again tonight or something? What do you think?

What do you think we should do about Alder’s class? It’s too late in the year for you to drop it… unless we explain the situation to the nurse or something? I don’t know what she could do about it, though. You need it to graduate… I do not like the idea of him reporting things back to your father, though and we know he’s going to be keeping a tighter watch on you. If he starts anything though, you need to tell me. I don’t know what I’m gonna do yet, but I talked to Luc about it a little bit on Sunday morning while you were in the shower. He said that even though your dad had made an ‘arrangement,’ Alder has no rights or claim and if he crossed a line -- like touching you again or refusing to let you go to the bathroom, etc -- then he can get in trouble. He’s not your Alpha, and his old school ways can honestly fuck off for all I care. He should pack up his shit and move to a nice, secluded island set back in the 19-fucking-40s.

I hate that douchebag. I don’t know how I am supposed to sit through his class either and stare at his stupid ugly mug, knowing that he wanted --

I can’t even write it.

Anyway, I miss you. Even though I spent the last two days practically plastered to your side, I wish you were here now. I still feel guilty about last week… and I’m going to do everything I can to make it up to you, baby. I promise.

I love you, so much, and I am so fucking lucky that you put up with my bullshit. Seriously, sometimes I wonder how you’re even real.

Your Alpha,  
Dean

 

Wednesday,  
February 6th, 2008

Dean,

I hope Sam is feeling better. Luc wanted me to let you know he gets off work early today and you are more than welcome to go to the apartment and hang out with him until Sam and I get out of our poetry club meeting. It would probably be more fun than sitting in the library and waiting for us...

I can’t wait for school to be done today. Adler was kind of an asshole during class earlier. He kept calling on me over and over for answers and told me I had to write a essay because I didn’t turn in two of my homework assignments last week, which is total bullshit. But if I don’t do it, it will bring down my grade from an A to a B and effect my GPA. I wonder if he is picking on me because I am mated and he knows I will never be his now. Do you think he reports back to my dad? I feel like he watches me, even outside of class... Like he’s trying to see who I talk to the most, like he’s trying to figure out who my mate is. I don’t know, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe the whole hearing about what my dad and Adler had planned for me just has me paranoid.

I usually look forward to the poetry club gatherings, but I wish we weren't meeting today. I just want to have dinner with you, Sam, and Luc while we watch a movie. It feels like being in there is taking away from my time with you. Hopefully the rest of today will fly by. So far, it has felt like it’s crawling.

Lunch is almost over. I better stop writing and start eating. I love you and can’t wait to see you after school.

Love Always, **YOUR** mate, **YOUR** Omega, Cas

P.S. If you do go over over to the apartment, tell Luc when he orders the pizza for dinner tonight to get a BBQ chicken one! I’m sick of meat lovers.

 

Wednesday,  
February 6th, 2008

Hey Cas,

Don’t worry about poetry. That’s something that you love to do, and even though we’re not together for the hour, it’s not taking time away from us -- not really. We have all the time in the world! I am not sure if Sam is going to stay today, though. He still said he’s feeling off, but he wanted a ride to school today. He refused to go to urgent care yesterday when I offered to drive him. Said it ‘wasn’t anything like that’ (whatever that’s supposed to mean) but I saw him heading straight to the nurse’s office when he came inside the school. Should I call him out on it? I’m kind of worried…

I will definitely go hang out at the apartment to wait for you instead of in the library. I think Mrs. Braden is starting to get suspicious of me, and us, going there so often. I mean, probably not you as much since you are a fucking smarty pants and all, but me? Dean Winchester hanging out in a library? I must be there to press my Omega up against the stacks and kiss him stupid. Or, you know, something like that.

As for Alder… I don’t know, Cas. I would say don’t worry about it -- and I don’t want you to worry about it -- but I think you’re right. Your gut was right last time. I think he probably is trying to do some recon for your father, and I am sure he’s probably reporting shit to him. Before I fell asleep on you last night, you said something about ~~Inias~~ Baby Guido (they will always be Guidos to me) making a comment to you in the hallway that didn’t make sense… I bet Alder and your father talk about you often, and I’m sure your dad is still butt hurt over Lucifer taking you out of the house, so you’re a hot topic of conversation at the dinner table. Words can’t hurt you though, which is why I don’t want you to worry. Just… we’ll muddle through his bullshit and we’ll be extra careful in the hallways and shit so that he has nothing to report and hopefully just gets bored.

I will twist Luc’s arm and get your BBQ pizza. As long as I can add bacon to it. I can not survive pizza without bacon.

I’ll leave this in your locker so you have something to read after Bio. I’ll see you in class in a few :)

Love, Your Alpha  
Dean

 

 

02/06 7:15PM Cas → Sam   
Dean is really worried about you. I think you should talk to him about what’s going on with you.

02/06 7:16PM Sam → Cas  
Dude, are you seriously texting me from across the room??

02/06 7:17PM Cas → Sam  
Well, yeah. I can’t exactly drag you into the other room without Dean and Luc getting suspicious.

02/06 7:18PM Sam → Cas Lol.  
You realize this is so high school, right?

 02/06 7:19PM Sam → Cas  
And… there’s nothing to tell Dean. I’m fine.

02/06 7:20PM Cas → Sam  
He saw you go straight to the nurse's office as soon as you got to school. He knows something is up and he doesn’t understand why you are not telling him. How are you doing? Have you had anymore symptoms?

02/06 7:20PM Sam → Cas  
I just… don’t want to worry him. He’s had a bunch of shit going on with you lately. What was I supposed to say?

02/06 7:22PM Sam → Cas  
Hey, Dean. I know you’re kind of falling apart right now but I have something to tell you! Or, even better, hey! I know things are finally going your way so let me put a damper on that.

02/06 7:23PM Sam → Cas  
I’m okay, Cas. The nurse helped me get a prescription for the suppressants I am going to need to take and I went this afternoon to get them. That’s why I wasn’t in poetry.

02/06 7:24PM Cas → Sam  
Dean and I are fine, and what’s going on with you wouldn’t put a damper on anything. You're his brother. He’s worried. So, since you were picking up suppressants I take it you presented. Are you okay?

02/06 7:25PM Sam → Cas  
Yeah, it’s official. Sam Winchester, first Winchester Omega in like… ever.

02/06 7:25PM Sam → Cas  
Cas.

02/06 7:25PM Sam → Cas  
CAS.

02/06 7:26PM Sam → Cas  
Dean just fucking saw that.

02/06 7:27PM Cas → Sam  
What? How? Are you sure?

02/06 7:29PM Sam → Cas  
He looked over your shoulder! His face got all tight and he looked away real quick. He looks… I don’t know, you and I BOTH know you can read Dean’s emotions like a freaking book by his expression and I’m telling you he saw!

02/06 7:39PM Cas → Sam  
He’s in the kitchen getting more pizza. Go talk to him Sam. I’m sure he’s not mad because of how you presented. He’s more than likely hurt that you kept what was going on from him. Well, we both did.

02/06 7:43PM Sam → Cas  
I can smell pissed off Alpha from here, Cas. And you want me to corner him in the kitchen? Dean doesn’t do well with being put on the spot.

02/06 7:45PM Cas → Sam  
I say it’s me he’s pissed off at, because he’s been worried and I have known what’s going on all along. But I wasn’t going to break your trust by telling him. Go talk to him, you will feel better once you do.

02/06 7:46PM Sam → Cas  
If he kills me, I will haunt you for the rest of your life.


	7. Chapter Six

Tuesday  
March 11th, 2008

Hey Cas,

How’s your morning going? Victor texted me my schedule this morning:

3/11 T - 4-7p  
3/12 W - off  
3/13 Th - 4-7p  
3/14 F - 4-10p  
3/15 S - 8-4:30p  
3/16 S - 2-10:30p  
3/17 M - off  
3/18 T - 4-7p

So, no Sunday night dinner this week. But, he kept his promise about making sure I had Wednesdays off. And 28 hours for the week isn’t too bad, either. I should be bringing home at least $300 after taxes…

What did Alfie send you? Hopefully, we have some similar shifts and can ride home together. I don’t think anyone would really take notice if I picked you up from work, especially since it’s dark out. And I would love to take my lunches with you if you work this weekend, too.

I don’t know if Sam is going to come over tomorrow for Midweek Movie Night… He’s pretty pissed off at me right now. I honestly don’t think I’ve heard him say more than, “Yeah”, “Nope”, or “Fuck off, Dean, Jesus!” in two weeks. I don’t know what to do, Cas… He presented and suddenly I’M the bad guy. He won't talk to me, or look at me, or fuck, ANYTHING. I don't know what to do. I'm sorry if this is me being a knothead, but are all newly presented Omega this… bitchy? Cause that's all Sam’s doing right now, being bitchy.

I am half dreading Spring Break… being stuck in the house with Sam without the escape of school. At least I'll be working… I told Victor I can work full time that week which will cut into our time a bit but I can save up most of that check for what doesn't go to gas for my baby. I almost have a month's rent for an apartment for us. I am hoping my dad will let me bring most of the furniture in my room with us and I know there’s an old futon in the attic somewhere… I’ll have to pull it out and air it out to make sure it’s okay. Worse comes to worse, we can always look for a furnished place. Would that be more expensive?

I am heading into Pop Lit next… Hoping it goes by quick… I miss your face.

I love you.

Your Alpha,  
Dean

Tuesday,  
March 11th, 2008

Dean,

Hey, my sexy Alpha. I miss your face, too, baby. And don’t worry about our schedules. I talked to Alphie and starting next month he can match my schedule with yours. He was more than happy to do it. He’s newly mated, also, so he understood. So, yeah, I would most definitely like for you to pick me up and give me a ride home… Maybe one night we can go up to make-out point and break in the back seat of your baby. ;)

Sam will be fine, Dean. He’s talked to me some, and no, I can’t tell you, so, please don’t ask and put me in that position. He trusts me, and I don’t want to break that trust. But I can tell you that it’s hard presenting as an Omega, so give him some space and time. As you know, society tends to look down on us, and think us weaker (which you KNOW isn’t true) but that’s just how it is. And your family has never had an Omega, so that’s also weighing on him. Be patient with him, baby. It was hard for me, too. Ask Luc. Just be there for him, even if he tries to push you away. Show him you are not going anywhere.

I also told Alfie I would work full time over spring break. I’ve been giving some money to Luc for the apartment. He didn’t want to take it at first but I wouldn’t back down and he knows how stubborn I am, so he relented and took it. And that’s AMAZING you almost have a month in rent saved! I’m so proud of you, Alpha. And I’m not sure if furnished apartments are more. That should be something we look into. I will do some research.

Love Always, **YOUR** mate, **YOUR** Omega,  
Cas

P.S. Even though we both plan to work more on Spring break, we need to make sure to do some stuff with Sam. He needs us right now.

03/12 5:16PM Dean → Cas  
Hey sexy. What are you wearing?

03/12 5:18PM Cas → Dean  
Lacy see through black babydoll lingerie with a matching thong. ;)

03/12 5:19PM Dean → Cas  
Jesus, Cas. You wore that to work?!

03/12 5:20PM Dean → Cas  
Are you trying to kill me?

03/12 5:21PM Cas → Dean  
You know what I’m wearing. You dropped me off remember? LOL

03/12 5:22PM Cas → Dean  
Kill you? No. I love certain parts of your anatomy too much. But I’m not above playing with you a little. :P

03/12 5:24PM Dean → Cas  
Oh yeah? So, wearing that kinky, sexy thing to work… what was your plan then, huh, Cas? Were you gonna ambush me the moment I picked you up?

03/12 5:25PM Cas → Dean  
Dean if I ACTUALLY did have that on, I wouldn’t have to ambush you. You would be all over me like a monkey on a cupcake.

03/12 5:26PM Dean → Cas  
Truth.

03/12 5:27PM Dean → Cas  
Monkey on a cupcake? That’s so not a sexy analogy, Cas.

03/12 5:28PM Cas → Dean  
It was the first thing that came to mind. Have you seen that video on YouTube?! LMAO!

03/12 5:29PM Dean → Cas  
Here I am, half hard at thinking of you in that lingerie, looking up a video of a freaking monkey.

03/12 5:31PM Dean → Cas  
The things I do for love.

03/12 5:33PM Cas → Dean  
You know, for the record, I really do own some lingerie.

03/12 5:34PM Dean → Cas  
Mmmmhmmm, tell me about it.

03/12 5:35PM Cas → Dean  
Well, I have a variety of panties, some of them are even crotchless. I have a few teddies, babydolls, corsets, even matching garter belts, for a few.

03/12 5:36PM Dean → Cas  
I would love to see you in a corset and panties. I bet lace would look gorgeous against your skin…

03/12 5:37PM Cas → Dean  
Well, Alpha, that can certainly be arranged. Maybe you would like to take a peek at my toy chest, also?

03/12 5:38PM Dean → Cas  
I definitely think we need to take a peek at your toy chest together.

03/12 5:39PM Dean → Cas  
What's your favorite toy in there?

03/12 5:40PM Cas → Dean  
Well, I like my anal beads a whole lot but my favorite would have to be my purple vibrator. It has a knot that swells and it feels so good. Not as good as you, but I bet it would feel amazing if you used it on me.

03/12 5:42PM Dean → Cas  
I wonder how many times I could make you come on that… have you shaking and sweating beneath me, begging for me to take you for real.

03/12 5:43PM Dean → Cas  
How many times do you think you could go, Cas? How many times do you think I could you come before you were begging me to stop?

03/12 5:44PM Cas → Dean  
Baby, I’m a teenage Omega. My sex drive is off the charts. I think your hand would cramp up before I was anywhere near being done.

03/12 5:45PM Dean → Cas  
I think that’s a challenge, if I ever heard one.

03/12 5:46PM Cas → Dean  
You know, it’s a good thing I’m stocking the freezer, because all this talk of sex is making me hot.

03/12 5:47PM Dean → Cas  
Baby, you’re always hot.

03/12 5:48PM Dean → Cas  
Your shift needs to be over, like, ten minutes ago.

03/12 5:49PM Cas → Dean  
Do you think you could hang out a little while after work? I could try on a few things for you and we could play. I could definitely enjoy some ‘play time’.

03/12 5:51PM Dean → Cas  
I think that can be arranged. Once we actually get out of the parking lot, that is.

03/12 5:53PM Cas → Dean  
Do you think you can keep your hands off me that long, Alpha? Wouldn’t it be more fun to take me in the backseat? Claim me right then and there, with the possibility that anyone could see or hear us. You always tell me I make such pretty noises.

03/12 5:55PM Dean → Cas  
Fuck yeah, baby. I want to have you bent over the seat, keeping watch out the front window as I eat you out until you’re screaming and begging for me to fuck you.

03/12 5:56PM Dean → Cas  
Think you could come on just my tongue and fingers, Cas?

03/12 6:00PM Cas → Dean  
God yes Alpha. Your tongue feels amazing, and you know exactly how to use it. You make me so wet when you eat me out and finger me. I want to come on your fingers and tongue. Then I want you to fuck me, Dean. Slide your cock into my sloppy wet hole and fuck me hard and fast. I want to feel your knot swell. I want to feel it tug on my rim before it locks us together and you pump me full. I love when you fill me, when you come so much it leaks out past your knot. God Alpha I want you so damn bad.

03/12 6:03PM Dean → Cas  
Fuck, Cas, want that too baby. Want to have you bouncing in my lap as I fuck into you hard and fast, our bodies trapped in the back seat of my car and pressing us closer together. I love how fucking tight and hot you get around me, the sound you make when my knot locks us together, the feel of your nails digging into my shoulders and back.

03/12 6:05PM Dean → Cas  
I can’t wait another hour for you to get out. I’m going to go crazy just thinking about you dripping wet, your lips puffy and swollen from my kisses, and fucking yourself down on my cock.

03/12 6:06PM Cas → Dean  
Fuck Dean. I don’t know if I can wait until we get back to the apartment. I really want you, I need you. Thank God, Luc is working the nightshift. I don’t think I’m going to be able to keep it down. I want you to make me beg. Make me scream until my throat is raw. I want you to fuck me. Then as soon as your knot goes down, I want you to fuck me again. To slide back into my come-soaked hole until you knot and fill me again. I want to do that over and over until you have to go home.

03/12 6:08PM Dean → Cas  
Jesus, Cas. I am down for that 100%.

03/12 6:10PM Dean → Cas  
Make sure you drink plenty of water until the end of your shift, baby because as soon as you get into my car, you’re mine. I fully intend on driving you crazy.

03/12 6:11PM Cas → Dean  
I promise to drink lots of water then, and that’s all I want Sweetheart, to be yours, mind, body, and soul.

03/12 6:12PM Dean → Cas  
Love you, Cas.

03/12 6:13PM Dean → Cas  
Get back to work, slacker. I’ll see you at 7 :)

03/12 6:14PM Cas → Dean  
Love you too Alpha, and I can’t wait. ;)

03/15 6:15PM Cas → Sam  
Hey Sam, how are you doing? I was taking a break and thought I would text.

03/15 6:20PM Sam → Cas  
Hey, Cas. I’m okay, I guess…

03/15 6:24PM Sam → Cas  
No, I’m frustrated and irritated with Dean, but that seems to be the norm lately.

03/15 6:25PM Sam → Cas  
How are you doing?

03/15 6:27PM Cas → Sam  
I’m doing okay, anything you want to talk to me about? You know I won’t take sides.

03/15 6:29PM Sam → Cas  
I just… I don’t know what to do, Cas. I’ve always grown up looking up to Dean and wanting to make him proud of me, even more that I wanted our dad to. And now… he’s ashamed of me, Cas. My big brother is ashamed and embarrassed of me now that I’m an Omega and I just… don’t know how to handle it.

03/15 6:30PM Sam → Cas  
I’m so mad at him. I wish I could hate him, it would make it hurt so much less.

03/15 6:31PM Cas → Sam  
Do you really think that Sam? Do you think Dean is ashamed of you just because of your secondary gender?

03/15 6:33PM Sam → Cas  
Yeah Cas, I do. You just… don’t see the way he looks at me now. Like I’m fragile or something. He’s treating me like his kid brother, and not the normal ‘younger brother’ way but like I’m 4 instead of 13. And we got into a fight last night about it, too.

03/15 6:36PM Sam → Cas  
I need to tell Dad. It doesn’t make sense for him not to know,. He’s not stupid. I turned 13 in November and he knows I’m going to be presenting soon. If we don’t tell him, he’s going to think there’s something wrong with me and he’ll take me to the doctors to find out why I’m a late bloomer. You think my dad would appreciate finding out from a doctor that I presented in February instead of from his own son? No, he would flip the fuck out and Dean knows that too!

03/15 6:38PM Sam → Cas  
But Dean said under no circumstance am I allowed to tell Dad. He got pissed about it and actually yelled at me, as if HE is my Alpha or something. And it just… part of me wants so badly to tell him to fuck off and tell Dad, but I know he would be mad and I just… he doesn’t want me to tell anyone. He doesn’t want me to talk about it. He hides my suppressants because he said he doesn’t want to see them in our bathroom and just… yeah, Cas, he’s ashamed of me.

03/15 6:40PM Cas → Sam  
I think he’s worried because of the shit that happened with me and my dad. I think he’s afraid something like that will happen to you and he won’t be there. I know he still feels like it’s his fault what happened to me and I think if it happened to another person he loves, he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself.

03/15 6:41PM Sam → Cas  
I don’t know, Cas… Dad would never do something like your dad did. He’s a hard ass sometimes, yeah, but he would never do something like that.

03/15 6:42PM Sam → Cas  
And even so… Dean himself doesn’t wanna talk about it, doesn’t want me to talk to him about it. How does that not scream ashamed?!

03/15 6:45PM Cas → Sam  
I think he’s scared, Sam and you know how Dean is. It’s easier to ignore his feeling than to face them.

03/15 6:46PM Sam → Cas  
Yeah, I guess so…

03/15 6:48PM Cas → Sam  
He’s proud of you, Sam. He’s just worried, that's all it is. You need to let him know how you feel. Tell him that the way he is acting makes you feel as if he is ashamed of you.

03/15 6:50PM Sam → Cas  
I’m afraid of what he’s going to say.

03/15 6:51PM Cas → Sam  
Well, you will never know until you talk to him. But Sam, I assure you everything will be fine. And you know I am always here if you need me.

03/15 6:52PM Sam → Cas  
Thanks, Cas. I’ll try to talk to him.

03/15 6:55PM Sam → Dean  
Hey, after you come home from dropping Cas off, we need to talk.

03/15 6:58PM Dean → Sam  
Um, okay… Everything okay?

03/15 6:59PM Sam → Dean  
We’ll just talk when you get home.

03/15 7:00PM Dean → Sam  
Okay...

03/15 7:39PM Dean → Sam  
On my way home.

Monday,  
March 17th, 2008

Hey Cas,

Happy St. Patrick’s Day from the worst big brother in the existence of brothers.

Seriously, I feel like total shit. Sam told me not to worry about it, that he understood, but I never meant to make him feel like I was ashamed of him or that I was anything other than ridiculously fucking proud of him. That kid has no fucking clue how awesome he is and the fact he went the last two weeks thinking I thought otherwise? Well, shittiest big brother award is now in Dean Winchester’s name.

Sorry we didn’t end up coming over for Sunday Dinner last night… Sam wanted to tell Dad and of course, our old man took forever to get home. He spent most of the evening at the Roadhouse. I tried to convince Sam that telling Dad when he was intoxicated was probably not the best idea, but Sam made a good point: he’s always intoxicated unless he’s at work. So… we told him when he got home at 10 o’clock. By the time we were done hashing everything out it was 2… I was going to call you, but I didn’t want to wake you up for something that could wait.

Dad… took it much better than I thought. Sam gave me that bitch face of his with a side of ‘I-told-you-so’. I never really thought Dad would hurt Sam… but I was right that he was upset. He was angry Sam didn’t tell him immediately and was downright apeshit that Sam had gone to the school nurse for suppressants instead of using the “fucking insurance I pay for!” He said he never thought Sam would be an Omega and said he had to ask some of his work buddies what that would mean for an Alpha parent. He even mentioned getting a book as he went to bed.

My dad reading a book about raising an Omega son. I just… what!?

So, yeah, it went better than I thought but… I guess we will see what happens when Dad is completely sober and remembers the conversation and the fact that Sam has lied to him for a month and me for the last two weeks.

Imagine what he’s gonna say when he finds out I’m mated…

Sam did agree with me that one secret was good enough and that I shouldn’t tell Dad about us until we’re ready for everyone to know. I still don’t know what he’s going to say about that or the fact that you’re an angel… I found out that Mom’s mom was an angel, so it’s not like it hasn’t happened in our family line but… doesn’t seem like Mom was close to her family at all so, not really a good argument, I guess.

Sam wants us to make a boiled dinner for dinner tonight, but I don’t think I can do that in a few hours?? I went out last night while we were waiting for Dad to get a corned beef and some cabbage. If Dad is working late, do you wanna come over and eat with us? My back-up plan is pizza if it’s not done in time.

Just let me know.

I’ll see you in bio, baby.

Love, your Alpha,  
Dean

Monday,  
March 17th, 2008

Dean,

You are NOT a shitty brother! Trust me, I know a thing or two about shitty brothers. You were trying to protect Sam,.hat makes you a really good big brother. I’m glad you two worked everything out and that he told your father. I’m also really happy to hear that he took it well and he even mentioned buying a book… I wish my dad had been like that when I presented.

So your grandmother was an angel? Wow. I really hope your father accepts our mating as well as he did Sam being an Omega. It would be nice for one of our families to support us. I can’t imagine not having anybody... Well, I guess that won’t be the case. We will always have Sam and Luc. If it comes down to it, that's good enough for me because in the end I will have you and that is all that matters to me.

Oh, this Thursday is our six-month anniversary and I was wondering if you would like to go on a date, a REAL one? We could go over to Clinton and see a movie or go bowling and out to dinner at that little Italian place by the lake. Luc even said we could use his car if you don’t want to drive the Impala that far. What do you think, Alpha? Want to go on a date with your mate?

Love Always, **YOUR** mate, **YOUR** Omega,  
Cas

P.S. I would love to come over and have dinner with you and Sam. Just let me know what time to be there. I love you, Alpha.

Wednesday  
March 19th, 2008

Dear Mr. Blue Sky,

It’s been awhile since I started a letter that way, huh?

I’m feeling a bit ~~noglstalic nolstal-~~ nostalgic today. I just dropped you off a few hours ago (and YES I worked on my stupid bio homework, as well as finished my sociology paper for tomorrow) and I am just sitting here in bed thinking about how fucking crazy the last six months have been.

Six months. I feel like that’s… nothing, and at the same time it’s been everything. Short of having a full-blown chick flick moment here, I am just in awe of everything that’s happened and that has brought me YOU.

When I started my senior year, I honestly was wondering if I was going to go through with graduation. Gordon already dropped out, and I would’ve been well on my way to joining him and working for his dad right now if I knew you wouldn’t kick my ass. You turned me around, Cas, in a lot of ways. I don’t think you even realize the impact you’ve had on me so far.

I never in a million years would’ve thought I would have found the Omega of my dreams or have been mated. If someone told me as a Freshman I would be graduating with my mate at my side? I would’ve laughed. I never even believed I would get mated, nevermind doing so in high school.

But baby, I am so glad we did.

I got Victor to give me tomorrow off, even though I usually work Thursday, and I made reservations for us at that Italian place you wanted to go to. I also have a surprise lined up for you after we eat dinner -- I really hope you like it. I figured we can head to your place after school and change into something other than what we wore all day before heading over to the lake. I would be down for walking around the beach and talking for a while before our reservations.

I am going to give you a call because even though I love writing to you, I love hearing your voice more.

Love always,  
Dean

03/21 4:44PM Luc → Dean  
Thanks for returning my car reeking of sex and what the hell is that stain on the back seat upholstery? Seriously?! I already KNOW what you do with my little brother. I don’t need to see or smell it.

03/21 4:45PM Dean → Luc  
I have no idea what you’re talking about.

03/21 4:46PM Dean → Luc  
You think I would defile your car?

03/21 4:46PM Dean → Luc  
Come on. Me?

03/21 4:47PM Dean → Luc  
Maybe it was you and you just don’t remember :)

03/21 4:48PM Luc → Dean  
A full can of Pheromoneway spray. It took a FULL can. I would be impressed if I wasn’t appalled because I know you were doing my little brother. How the hell did you guys stink the car up that much in such a short amount of time?! You know what? Nevermind. Don’t answer that!

03/21 4:50PM Dean → Luc  
Hey! Fun fact -- Walmart has PheroFree on sale, 2 for $5 right now.

03/21 4:51PM Dean → Luc  
You’re welcome.

03/21 4:51PM Dean → Luc  
AND Pizza Hut’s 5-5-5 deal is back, so my question to you… Do you want breadsticks or cinnasticks? :D

03/21 4:52PM Luc → Dean  
Bribing me with food. I like the way you think, Winchester. And since it took over an hour scrubbing my backseat, I think I deserve both breadsticks and cinnasticks.

03/21 4:53PM Dean → Luc  
Extra cream cheese icing?

03/21 4:55PM Dean → Luc  
Hahahahahahhaha. Just don’t think about what it looks like. HAHAHAHA.

03/21 4:56PM Luc → Dean  
UGH, get two things of breadsticks instead. Thanks for that. I’m not sure I will be able to eat anything with icing for a while.

03/21 4:58PM Dean → Luc  
I am the best and you know it :D

03/21 4:58PM Dean → Cas  
Hahahhaa. I may have scarred Lucifer for life. Or… turned him off from cinnasticks.

03/21 4:59PM Cas → Dean  
What did you do?!

03/21 5:00PM Dean → Cas  


03/21 5:01PM Cas → Dean  
OMG! DEAN! There are just some things you do not joke about with family. How would you like if I made innuendos about your knot to Sam?

03/21 5:03PM Dean → Cas  
Well, I would find that hilarious, actually. Can you imagine Sam’s face?! He wouldn’t be able to look at me for a week!

03/21 5:04PM Cas → Dean  
*Rolls eyes* You are something else, Dean Winchester.

03/21 5:04PM Cas → Dean  
And I thought you said there wasn’t a stain in the backseat! OMG! I can’t believe Luc cleaned that up! No wonder he's hardly looked at me since I got home from school… So embarrassing!

03/21 5:05PM Dean → Cas  
Okay, so, maybe we need to invest in a car blanket…

03/21 5:07PM Dean → Cas  
I thought it would be okay once it dried!!!

03/21 5:08PM Cas → Dean  
Clearly, Alpha, you were wrong.

03/21 5:10PM Dean → Cas  
So…. cinnasticks or breadsticks? :D

03/21 5:11PM Cas → Dean  
Oh no, that doesn’t work with me Mr. You can’t bribe me with food.

03/21 5:12PM Dean → Cas  
....

03/21 5:12PM Dean → Cas  
Do you want me to eat you out before or after I fuck you into the mattress after dinner? :D

03/21 5:13PM Cas → Dean  
Dean, you can’t say stuff like that… You know what that kind of talk does to me.

03/21 5:14PM Cas → Dean  
And the answer is after you fuck me into the mattress. I know how much you like tasting your come mixed with my slick.

03/21 5:15PM Dean → Cas  
That’s because you taste like fucking honey.

03/21 5:15PM Dean → Cas  
I could spend hours between your legs, breathing you in, feeling you flood across my tongue… Not to mention the sounds you make as I lick you open are just perfect. You’re so beautiful like that, you know.

03/21 5:16PM Cas → Dean  
Are you trying to turn me on? To make me wet? Because I gotta tell you it’s working. I’ve pretty much soaked the blue panties you wanted me to wear today. All from thinking about your head between my legs, my thighs pressed against your cheeks, your stubble raking against them in the most delicious way as your tongue dips into my dripping hole. The way you growl and grip my hips as you tell me how I’m such a good Omega. God, Dean, it drives me wild.

03/21 5:19PM Dean → Cas  
Oh, you wore them all day? I can picture them now, darkened from your slick, soft and wet against my tongue. I could tease you through them first, feel the heat from your body against the soft silk before I pull them down and open you up nice and slow. You always taste and smell so fucking good, baby. You are my perfect Omega.

03/21 5:23PM Dean → Cas  
Do you think you could be quiet, Cas? Do you think I could push you up against the wall of your bedroom while Lucifer and Sam set up dinner? Think I could have you face the wall and pull down your jeans, press up against you so you can feel how fucking hard you make me? I wonder if I could make you come just from my tongue… I could stretch you wide, drink you in, leave you open and wanting and ready. Maybe we should use that blue plug? Would you like that? I would make you eat dinner like that, knowing what was coming, sitting beside our brothers like nothing was going on, like you weren’t waiting and eager to get back upstairs and get fucked.

03/21 5:26PM Cas → Dean  
God, yes. Please, Dean. Please, Alpha. I will be so good for you, so quiet. I want you so bad. I want you to tease me, open me, stick that plug in me and leave me wanting more. I would feel it every time I moved. And you would know by the look on my face, by the tiny hitches in my breath. Do you think you could control yourself, Alpha? Could you control your arousal around our brothers knowing your mate is open and ready for you? That that plug is nestled inside me, when you and I both know it should be your knot instead? How long do you think you would make it before you dragged me upstairs and ripped both our clothes off? Before you pulled the plug free and licked off my juices? Would you fuck me fast and hard? Or slow and sweet?

03/21 5:30PM Dean → Cas  
The only thing that would help me control myself is knowing how damn much you want me, too. I bet I could smell you, even if our brother’s can’t. Right after dinner, we will have to help them clean up and it’s only my duty as your Alpha to make sure we’re assigned kitchen duty… It’s not my fault, the kitchen is small and I’ll be forced to press up against you. It’s not my fault, I’ll have to press you against the counter to reach into the cabinet above you, either. By the time I get you upstairs and take out the plug, you’ll be dripping for me, perfect and sweet and all mine. Then baby, I would fuck you slow at first, draw it out, make you feel every single inch of me moving against you.

03/21 5:31PM Dean → Cas  
I am heading to pick up the pizza now… are you still in your panties?

03/21 5:32PM Cas → Dean  
Yes, Alpha. Do you want me to put on another pair, or leave the wet ones on?

03/21 5:35PM Dean → Cas  
Leave them on. I'll be there in fifteen.

03/21 5:36PM Cas → Dean  
Anything for you, Alpha…

03/21 5:36PM Cas → Dean  
Oh and Dean, HURRY!

03/21 5:37PM Dean → Cas  
You got it, baby. See you soon.

03/21 11:57PM Dean → Luc  
I owe you more PheroFree spray.

03/21 11:57PM Dean → Luc  
Oops.

03/21 11:57PM Dean → Luc  
:)

03/22 12:00AM Luc → Dean  
I’m banning sex! No sex in my car or the apartment. Especially in the apartment when I’m home. Don’t think Sam and I didn’t hear you guys either. You two were NOT quiet.

03/22 12:01AM Dean → Luc  
But… isn't Cas being happy what REALLY matters here?

03/22 12:03AM Luc → Dean  
Looks like I should buy stock in PheroFree, considering how much I’m gonna be using.

03/22 12:05AMPM Dean → Luc  
Like I said, 2 for $5!!!

03/22 12:05AM Dean → Luc  
I'll get dinner on Sunday, too, to make up for it

03/22 12:07AM Luc → Dean  
Winchester, you will be buying dinner every time you come over, at this rate. God knows you two can’t keep your hands off each other.

03/22 12:08AM Luc → Dean  
Cas’ heat is coming up next month. I’m getting a hotel room and you can help him ride it out here, at the apartment. Just keep the funny business to his room. I don’t wanna come back to stains all over the furniture.

03/22 12:10AM Dean → Luc  
You know, being at home might make him try to nest, but I'll do my best to keep everything in his room.

03/22 12:11AM Dean → Luc  
Why do you have your brothers heat schedule memorized??

03/22 12:11AM Dean → Luc  
Am I going to have Sammy’s???

03/22 12:12AM Luc → Dean  
Well, I keep track of it now, so I know to not be around when it hits. You two are bad enough without him being in heat.

03/22 12:15AM Luc → Dean  
But before? I kept track of it so I would make sure I was home. Mom and Dad didn’t, and as you know an Omega in heat doesn’t take the best care of themselves. I wanted to be there to make sure he stayed hydrated and fed. So yeah, you probably will memorize Sam’s.

03/22 12:17AM Luc → Dean  
I wasn’t the best big brother. I should have stood up to dad a hell of a lot sooner than I did. But my opinion of Cas didn’t change when he presented. He was still my nerdy little brother that I felt the need to care for and I still do even though he’s mated. And you will be the same way with Sam.

03/22 12:19AM Dean → Luc  
Yeah, you should have… doing things behind the scenes is a hell of a lot better than nothing, but Cas could've done better knowing you were actually on his side.

03/22 12:20AM Dean → Luc  
That being said… you're a pretty awesome big brother now, and I know Cas doesn't hold any hard feelings towards your past living situation.

03/22 12:22AM Luc → Dean  
Does he ever talk about the past with you? Things that happened? Our parents? Because he’s not mentioned them one time to me since we left that day and didn’t look back.

03/22 12:23AM Luc → Dean  
Hell, they haven’t even contacted me.

03/22 12:24AM Dean → Luc  
Yeah, he has. I mean, not often… mostly he says that he sometimes can't believe this is really his life. He's actually happy and comfortable going home and sometimes he's afraid he'll wake up and it's all been a dream.

03/22 12:25AM Dean → Luc  
He's really, really happy.

03/22 12:26AM Luc → Dean  
I’m glad he’s happy now. But if you could get him to open up to you... I think he needs that. It’s not my place, but he went through a lot of shit, Dean. Things that I think back on and I hate myself for letting it happen. He doesn’t need to keep that in forever, and who better to share those things with than you, his mate. Someone who will hold him and promise him he will never be hurt like that again.

03/22 12:28AM Dean → Luc  
I'm here for him, for anything. He knows that. I will never let anything like that happen to him ever again. He's safe with me.

03/22 12:30AM Luc → Dean  
I know he is, Dean. You're a good Alpha. I don’t even mind that you’re a demon. You treat my brother right and that’s all that matters to me.

03/22 12:32AM Dean → Luc  
So, you don't care your brother-in law is a demon?

03/22 12:33AM Luc → Dean  
I mean Alpha angels are way cooler and so much better looking. But nah, you’ll do. You make Cas happy, so I’m honored to have you as my brother-in-law.

03/22 12:35AM Dean → Luc  
I was going to go on about how having horns is so much cooler than being able to glow blue and having wings that don't even exist on this plane… but then you had to get all chick flicky on me.

03/22 12:37AM Dean → Luc  
Naw, I think you're pretty cool, too. You're not bad, for an angel brother.

03/22 12:38AM Luc → Dean  
Damn straight I’m cool! I didn’t kick your ass for banging my baby bro in my car, and I let you guys go up to his room unsupervised. I’m the definition of cool.

03/22 12:40AM Dean → Luc  
Hahahahahaha! So true.


	8. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're introducing a new type of 'letter'! Cas and Dean have bio together, so, naturally they're not paying attention. _Dean is all italics_ , where Cas is in regular font.

04/10 4:40PM Dean → Sam  
Dude, we need food.

04/10 4:40PM Dean → Sam  
Double bacon cheeseburgers with cheesy fries from the Roadhouse.

04/10 4:47PM Sam → Dean  
Dean, I am not bringing you food again. I brought you pizza yesterday because you didn’t want to scare the delivery man. Instead you scared ME.

04/10 4:48PM Dean → Sam  
Come on! Cas is STARVING.

04/10 4:50PM Sam → Dean  
Cas is not starving, you’re starving. The only thing Cas is hungry for right now is something I don’t want to think about ever.

04/10 4:52PM Dean → Sam  
I need to be a good Alpha. Cas’ nutritional needs are important in this very stressful time. His body is working in overdrive, he needs good quality protein and a large coke for hydration!

04/10 4:52PM Sam → Dean  
Good quality protein?

04/10 4:53PM Sam → Dean  
I’ll bring him a grilled chicken salad and a Fuji water. Make that two! You’re working just as hard as he is.

04/10 4:54PM Dean → Sam  
I hate you.

04/10 4:55PM Sam → Dean  
Caesar or italian?

04/10 4:55PM Dean → Sam  
I wonder if Ellen would deliver if I asked REALLY nicely...

04/10 4:56PM Sam → Dean  
Ooh a nice balsamic? Raspberry vinaigrette?

04/10 4:57PM Dean → Sam  
The only raspberry I am eating is in PIE.

04/10 4:59PM Sam → Dean  
You’re ridiculous.

04/10 5:01PM Dean → Sam  


04/10 5:01PM Sam → Dean  
If you go any higher than that I will be forced to kill you.

04/10 5:04PM Dean → Sam  


04/10 5:05PM Sam → Dean  
Seriously, Dean.

04/10 5:06PM Dean → Sam  
I can be bribed to stop with greasy, bacon burgers.

04/10 5:08PM Dean → Sam  


04/10 5:09PM Sam → Dean  
I fucking hate you.

04/10 5:10PM Dean → Sam  
See you in 30?

04/10 5:12PM Sam → Dean  
I am leaving it on the porch.

04/10 5:13PM Dean → Sam  
Good, then I don’t need to put on pants.

 

 

 

04/12 8:30AM Dean → Luc  
Cas thinks he should be all set by Monday, wanted me to let you know.

04/12 8:35AM Luc → Dean  
Is he still trying to nest in the living room? Please tell me my new leather couch has survived without acquiring any ‘questionable’ stains.

04/12 8:36AM Dean → Luc  
What do you think I am, a heathen?

04/12 8:37AM Dean → Luc  
Leather gets cold against a bare ass, Lucifer. It’s called putting down a blanket. :D

04/12 8:38AM Luc → Dean  
I REALLY could have gone without knowing you banged him on my couch. I don’t know if I will be able to sit on it now without thinking about that. Is any of the furniture safe? Did you two taint everything? Please tell me the kitchen table made it through this unscathed.

04/12 8:40AM Dean → Luc  
Hey, so, did you watch any of the game last night? I heard the Twins kicked the Royals ass…

04/12 8:41AM Dean → Luc  
Do you even like baseball?

04/12 8:41AM Dean → Luc  
I don’t even like baseball

04/12 8:42AM Dean → Luc  
What were we talking about? I can’t remember!

04/12 8:43AM Luc → Dean  
My room? You at least stayed out of there right?

04/12 8:44AM Dean → Luc  
Have a GREAT day, Lucifer!!!

04/12 8:46AM Luc → Dean  
Oh God, I should just burn the place down and start over.

04/12 8:49AM Dean → Luc  


 

 

 

Tuesday,  
April 15th, 2008

Dear Cas,

You know what the absolute worst part of sitting in Film Study at 7 in the morning is? I would much rather still be curled up in your bed watching a movie we chose and relaxing with you. Today we’re analyzing more of Chaplin’s films and scenes that relate to ‘modern’ day films. I already know I am doing a comparison to Benny and Joon because, let’s face it, Johnny Depp is a badass Omega and his movies are awesome.

I am glad we chose to spend yesterday being lazy instead of going into school. I wish I could come back over tonight, but I’m not sure how much more I can push working on a project with a friend that my dad would believe… Lucifer should have come home today, right? I texted him before class to tell him I had opened up all the windows like he’d asked. I also left him a few bottles of PheroFree in the kitchen. I am the nicest brother-in-law he’s ever going to have.

How is psych this morning? I hope you’re having a good day and that coffee started to kick in… You looked absolutely exhausted this morning. Hell, it is probably a good idea for both of us to get a good night sleep tonight. We still on for Movie Night tomorrow? Sam wants us to watch _Cloverfield_. He rented it already, so we might not have a say in the matter. Do you think Luc will care?

This morning on the way to school, Sam convinced me to forget my one cardinal rule and I allowed him to choose the music. Now? I’ve had a stupid pop song stuck in my head all morning.

 

 

 

I walked, I ran, I jumped, I flew  
Right off the ground and float to you  
There’s no gravity to hold me down, for real  
But somehow I’m still alive inside  
 **You took my breath but I survived**

I don’t know, but I don’t even care  
So how do you expect me to live alone with just me?  
Cause my world revolves around you  
It's so hard for me to breathe.  
Tell me how I’m supposed to breathe with no air  
 **Can’t live can't breathe with no air  
** That’s how I feel whenever you ain’t there.

[x](https://play.google.com/music/preview/Tcs375v4gqzgckw5hfhpfgqk77a?lyrics=1&utm_source=google&utm_medium=search&utm_campaign=lyrics&pcampaignid=kp-lyrics)

So… yeah. Cheesy and shit, but it’s catchy.

Blame Sam.

I love you and I’ll see you in a few hours.

Your Alpha,  
Dean

 

 

 

_Baby, we have a problem…_

And what would that problem be, Dean?

_Ummm. Promise you won’t freak out?_

You saying promise not to freak out IS freaking me out. What’s the problem?

_So… we’re mated and that means we always kinda smell like each other a little bit and I may have stolen your hoodie to sleep in and... Alder knows._

Knows, what do you mean knows?

_He cornered me before I came to bio… I’m not going to tell you what he said, but he’s lucky I didn’t fucking punch him. He said he could smell you on my skin and knew I was your Alpha._

Not going to tell me what he said? God dammit, Dean You tell me what he said and you tell me now!

_Baby, what he said doesn’t matter. It was rude and he called you a name and he was fucking wrong. I just don’t feel like it needs repeating._

I have a right to know, Dean. I don’t need you protecting me.

_You’re so frustrating… You know it’s just a shitty thing and you know it’s hurtful, so WHY do I have to say it?_

I’m sure I’ve heard worse, Dean. And if he knows, what’s to say he’s not going to confront me? Don’t try to keep things from me because YOU think it’s best. I’m telling you I want to know what he said so respect that and tell me.

_Fine. He said, ~~“You reek of your dirty Omega whore, the entire class smells like his slick. I would recognize Castiel’s scent anywhere. The entire class could smell him. Did you see the Alphas moving around in their seats, Winchester? That’s because they know your easy slut would open his legs for anyone. After all, he did so quickly for the first demon to look his way.”~~_

_I am NOT happy you made me write that. So the moment you read it I want it fucking scribbled out because it pisses me off and makes me sick to my stomach._

Baby you know he was trying to goad you, right? He was trying to get you to do something stupid like punch him. I’m honestly surprised you didn’t, but proud of you for not. I don’t care what he said about me, Dean. I’ve heard worse from my dad. Speaking of my dad, you know Adler is going to tell him, if he hasn’t called him already. Shit, Dean.

_Yeah, well, icing on the fucking cake. And I didn’t punch him… but only because my friend Benny was waiting for me and was shaking his head. It gets worse though… After Alder said that I told him he knew shit and had no idea what he was talking about. And he just fucking smiled, Cas. This fucking shit eating grin and pulled out a fucking handkerchief or some shit and it was you on it. It had the label they do the samples with when everyone presents for the registry so your dad must’ve given it to him. My dad refused to take either Sammy’s or mine home, said if we were kidnapped or some shit the state would have access, but your dad -- obviously -- likes the old ways and must've given it to Alder to secure your ‘arrangement’._

_I took it from him, by the way. So I have it now and Benny dragged me out before I could say anything, but that pretty much confirmed everything for him._

Oh God Dean, I feel sick. I’m going to be sick. How could my dad do that to me? Promise me to that asshole! He’s had my scent for God knows how long. He’s probably used it during his ruts. Dean. He could have bonded with my scent. I’m definitely going to get sick.

_Well, he’s going to be in shit fucking luck next time. You’re MINE and he won’t be having your scent for his twisted fucking fantasy anymore. I’m so sorry, baby. I have no answer for why your dad chose Alder, why it's even fucking legal still. What I DO know is that you are my mate, and I’m yours, and Alder literally has no claim. Lucifer has said as much, too, though we should probably tell him about this… I don’t want you in that class anymore, though. He’s not going to just take this lightly. I don’t want him to fuck with you while you are stuck in there three times a week._

I can’t go back to his class, I just can’t. I feel so dirty. I know I haven’t done anything wrong or have any reason to feel that way, but I do.

_It might be time to bring this to the nurse, Cas… Maybe even Principal Shurley._

I think you may be right, Dean. They won’t say anything because of confidentiality.

_Plus, I’m 18 now. Legally I am your Alpha in every way, so they can’t tell your dad even if they wanted to without me bringing serious hell down on them. Not that it’s gonna matter… Alder is going to tell him, you’re completely right. And you know he’s going to tell your brothers, too._

I’m more concerned what my dad is going to do when he finds out who my mate is, Dean. He speculated you were a demon, but now he knows for sure.

_He can’t do shit, baby. What the hell is he supposed to do? He doesn’t see you. You don’t talk to him. He’s powerless._

You don’t know him like I do, Dean. He won’t take this lying down.

_Don’t worry, baby. I could be the fucking Easter Bunny and he still has no claim over you anymore. He’s all talk! That’s all he has left. I promise._

I’ll try not to worry, I wish you could stay with me tonight. I don’t know how I’m gonna be able to sleep without you there. Can you come over after school so we can tell Luc together?

_Yeah, of course, baby. If you don’t want to do the movie, we can tell Sam to get it again for next week?_

I think that’s a good idea. I don’t think anyone is going to feel like watching a movie when we tell them what happened.

_No… I don’t think they will. I’ll wait for you after poetry, okay? Ms. Milton keeps looking at us so we should try to pay attention. Can’t believe I just said that._

 

 

 

Thursday,  
April 17th, 2008

Dean,

It’s almost 3 in the morning and I can’t sleep. Everytime I shut my eyes I see Adler or my dad. I feel anxious and scared, so I thought I would write you since you're not here. God, I wish you were here. I need you so bad right now, Alpha. I wish we could go back a few days ago to my heat. Everything was so perfect then. Just you and me and no worries at all. God, things went to hell quick.

Luc is coming to school with me tomorrow. He wants to be there for us when we tell the nurse about our mating and inform Principal Shurley about Adler and my request to be moved to a different Physics class. I just, I can’t stop thinking about Adler having my scent, about him bonding with it, and how you took that from him. What if he goes through rejection now that he doesn’t have it? I’ve heard stories about Alpha’s getting violent when going through rejection. You don’t hear about it often because it’s rare considering how Omegas usually never leave an Alpha, but it happens. What if he tries to hurt me? I was promised to him, so in his sick twisted mind he thinks I’m his Omega, especially if he bonded with my scent.

When I’m not thinking about Adler, I’m thinking of my dad. What did he think when Adler called him and told him? What did he think when it was confirmed that my mate was, in fact, a demon? Does he hate me even more now? Did he look you up when Adler gave him your name? Teachers have access to files. Did Adler send him a copy of yours? Does he know what you look like? Where you live? Is he going to come here? Everytime I hear a car outside the apartments I jump and wait for a knock on the door. It’s driving me crazy. I hate that I’m scared and I hate that you're not here.

I know you told me not to worry, that legally you're my Alpha and there's nothing anyone can do about our mating, but I am worried. You don’t know my dad, Dean. You don’t know how he is, what he’s capable of. The way he treated me just because I’m an Omega, the beatings I took because I needed to be ‘put in my place’... You know, a lot of the time I didn’t even know what I did wrong, what I did to deserve it. Then there were the names he called me, the way he looked at me like I was less than nothing... He promised me to someone over twice my age for fuck’s sake.

I just want all this to be over. I want to be graduated and living in Cali with you.

I hear Luc in the living room... apparently he can’t sleep either. I’m going to go and sit with him for a while. I can’t wait to see you. I need my Alpha to just hold me.

Love Always, **YOUR** mate, **YOUR** Omega,  
Cas

P.S. I love more than anything.

 

 

 

Friday,  
April 18th, 2008

Cas,

Next time, call me! I’m so sorry you spent the entire night feeling anxious and scared… Don’t ever worry about waking me up or something like that, especially not when you need me. I am always here for you, baby, and I would’ve found a way to get over there for you last night. If I had gotten to read this before our meeting with the nurse, I would’ve hugged you extra tight.

Did you and Luc end up getting any sleep? You both looked exhausted this morning… You have tonight free from work, right? You should get some sleep. I am closing up tonight so I’ll be out of there at 10 and can come over. Luc ended up giving me a key so I can just let myself in, okay? I’ll come crawl into bed with you.

I’m glad things went well with the nurse… I don’t really know what I expected when we walked in there, but I actually had to go to my gym locker for a shirt because I was sweating so freaking much. I bet Nurse Hascom could freaking smell me -- as if that’s not embarrassing. I am glad she let us sign Luc up as an emergency contact, too, and got rid of your parents completely. Not that I anticipate anything actually happening to me where I couldn’t be reached if you were in trouble, but you know, whatever.

How are you feeling now? I could feel your anxiety when we went to see Principal Shurley. Why did he make you more nervous than the nurse? He seemed pretty chill… I’ve never actually had to go to the Principal for anything before. He knew Luc on sight though. Was your brother a badass when he was here? I haven’t met Mr. Walker yet, but just from knowing what a shit bag Alder is, he’s probably going to be a hundred times better as a physics teacher. Do you think I should’ve taken Shurley’s advice and switched my class, too? I guess we will see how Alder responds to me this afternoon...

So I took Saturday off this week because Dad needed some help around the house… Apparently April is a great time to re-roof? But, he said we would be done by the ‘normal’ time I would get out of work, so Sammy and I should have no problem coming over for dinner and a movie. Do you still have this Saturday off? If Alfie changed your schedule to match mine starting this week, we are so staying in bed Sunday morning until at least 10. Just saying.

I love you! I’ll see you in Bio, baby!

Yours, Always,  
Dean

 

 

 

04/19 11:04AM Cas → Dean  
So how's re-roofing going? Are you shirtless and in low slung carpenter’s jeans? Pretty please say yes.

04/19 11:15AM Dean→ Cas  
Haha. Well Mr. Blue Sky, do you have a blue collar kink?

04/19 11:16AM Dean→ Cas  
We're taking a break. We pulled off the old shingles already but Dad is sweating bullets. Sammy is making him drink water which he is not happy about.

04/19 11:17AM Cas → Dean  
I have a YOU kink. What about you, Dean? Are you all sweaty?

04/19 11:19AM Dean→ Cas  


04/19 11:19AM Dean→ Cas  
Sorry, not shirtless.

04/19 11:20AM Cas → Dean  
Still sexy as hell, Alpha.

04/19 11:21AM Dean→ Cas  
Not as sexy as you, baby :)

04/19 11:21AM Dean→ Cas  
Miss you. I can't wait to see you later.

04/19 11:22AM Cas → Dean  
I’m counting down the minutes. I miss you too.

04/19 11:23AM Cas → Dean  
So, what do you want to do tonight? After we watch movies with Sam and Luc, of course.

04/19 11:24AM Dean→ Cas  
Why, Castiel, are you trying to seduce me?!

04/19 11:25AM Cas → Dean  
Always ;)

04/19 11:26AM Dean→ Cas  
Well, I have it under good authority that it’s working!

04/19 11:27AM Dean→ Cas  
Hold on, baby. Dad’s calling me.

04/19 4:07PM Cas → Dean  
Dean. It's been hours is everything okay?

04/19 4:33PM Cas → Dean  
You must still be busy working with your dad and Sam.

04/19 5:15PM Cas → Dean  
Are you and Sam still planning on coming over?

04/19 5:19PM Cas → Dean  
Could you text me and let me know you’re okay?

04/19 5:50PM Dean→ Cas  
Hey, baby. I’m so sorry!! Yes, I’m okay.

04/19 5:50PM Dean→ Cas  
So… we had a surprise visitor this morning.

04/19 5:51PM Cas → Dean  
Thank God, I just got worried when you didn’t text back. Who was the surprise visitor?

04/19 5:52PM Dean→ Cas  
Ummm… your dad.

04/19 5:53PM Cas → Dean  
WHAT! What do you mean my dad. What happened? What did he do?

04/19 5:55PM Dean→ Cas  
Well… he came because you were right. Alder did hand over my file. He came to talk to my dad because since I'm still in school, he thinks dad is my Alpha. That's why he called me outside… said I was my own Alpha and should be there to listen to your dad's accusations on my own.

04/19 5:58PM Dean→ Cas  
Well… I kind of had to tell my dad it was the truth, that we were mated and that you were an angel. The look on your dad's face… He thought it was gonna turn into a two on one thing. He looked so fucking smug. But then my dad laughed. He just fucking burst out laughing for a good minute or so before he went back to pissed.

04/19 6:01PM Dean→ Cas  
Your dad was bullshit, of course and decided to tell my dad that I stole you from your mate. I’ve never seen my dad look so fucking disappointed. I told him that it wasn’t true, that Alder wasn’t your fucking mate at all -- you were 100% unmated and I didn’t force you to do anything. When your dad went off about how you were promised to Alder and went on about the ‘arrangement’ he made… well, then Dad knew that he was an ass backwards piece of shit. He told your dad he had about 5 minutes to get his arrogant, narrow minded, angel ass off of his property before he ripped his wings off. Your dad left pretty quickly after that.

04/19 6:05PM Cas → Dean  
Dean, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry my dad came there and made a scene and I’m sorry your dad found out about us like that.

04/19 6:06PM Cas → Dean  
Was he mad? Is he upset that you mated an angel?

04/19 6:06PM Dean→ Cas  
Hah.

04/19 6:07PM Dean→ Cas  
HAHAHAHA

04/19 6:10PM Dean→ Cas  
Hah, fuck Cas. No, he’s not. He’s pissed I didn’t tell him I was mated… He did the whole Winchester-self-deprecation thing for a good twenty to thirty minutes, too… How he was a bad father because Sammy didn’t tell him he presented and I didn’t tell him I was mated… Sent me and Sammy on a good guilt trip for it, too, until Sam decided to get pissed at him and tell him that it was because he drank too fucking much. So, yeah, that was a fun fight between the two of them until my dad started crying.

04/19 6:13PM Dean→ Cas  
Yeah. Crying. Shut Sammy up really fucking quick. Then… then we found out that Mom was an angel. My dad a demon, my mom an angel. Apparently Alpha-Demon genes is dominant to Omega-Angel so… I mean… If we have kids, they’ll be demons. If Dad was an Angel, Mom was a Demon, it would’ve been opposite. Never knew, and Dad said it was never really important what species Mom was. He showed us a picture of her from his wallet and said he’d get me and Sammy a copy -- She was beautiful, Cas.

04/19 6:16PM Cas → Dean  
Your mom was an angel? How did you not know? I know you were really young when she passed away, but shouldn’t the genealogy paper you just did have revealed that? I’m speechless, Dean. So, does this mean your dad is okay with us?

04/19 6:20PM Dean→ Cas  
Well, remember how I told you she died in a house fire? It burned everything -- nothing could be saved from that house. No toys, furniture, clothes, memories or pictures. We literally lost everything. And I had just barely turned four. I always thought of her as an ‘angel’ in the sense that she was always looking out for me and stuff, but I never truly remembered her. Dad had a picture all along but never thought we needed one. I don’t know. God, just… My dad mated an angel, Cas!

04/19 6:23PM Dean→ Cas  
Yeah… about that… Um, he told me to stop screwing around and to tell you that we’re on our way to pick you up because he wants to meet my mate nice and proper. So… how do you feel about Chinese?

04/19 6:24PM Cas → Dean  
Now! You are on your way here now?! With your dad? Wow, meeting the parent. Wow, I’m nervous. Chinese is fine.

04/19 6:26PM Dean→ Cas  
Yeah, now. Hah. He’s not as scary as he looks?? He said it's only fair cause I met your dad already. He thinks he's funny.

04/19 6:27PM Cas → Dean  
Since you put it like that? I guess fair is fair. Just please tell me it’s gonna go better than you meeting my dad.

04/19 6:28PM Dean→ Cas  
Definitely, baby. I promise :)

04/19 6:29PM Cas → Dean  
You think he will still let you stay the night here after dinner?

04/19 6:30PM Dean→ Cas  
Yeah, I think so. He made a point of reminding me I was 18 now and we already had that uncomfortable conversation where he asked about the suppressants you were on and made sure they had a good birth control component to it. Sam was almost redder than I was when he decided to turn that into a conversation about how neither one of his sons needed to end up pregnant before they were settled in a career and blah blah blah…

04/19 6:32PM Cas → Dean  
Thank God I never had to hear ‘the talk’ from anyone. Well, Luc did tell me not to get knocked up. Does that count as ‘the talk’? You don’t think your dad will give us both ‘the talk’ at dinner, do you?

04/19 6:35PM Dean→ Cas  
I fucking hope not. OMG. Once was enough!!

04/19 6:38PM Dean→ Cas  
We’re here, baby. I’ll come up and grab you.

 

 

 

Monday,  
April 21st, 2008

Dear Dean,

I had a wonderful time at your house on Saturday. Your father was very nice, I enjoyed spending time with the three of you. Though it was very embarrassing when your dad decided he should give us both ‘the talk’ while we were having dinner. I felt as if my face was going to catch on fire when he asked how many heats you had helped me through. Not to mention the remark about how he expects a whole house full of little demons running around, just not yet. Though that comment made my heart skip a beat... I know it's not something we have discussed yet, but do you want kids one day, Dean? I do. I want a big family. I want three, maybe four kids, and I want them all to have your sandy hair and freckles. I think you would look really good with a baby in your arms. Okay, enough talk about kids. I don’t want to scare you, Alpha.

I thought it was really nice of your father to invite me to come to you guys’ weekly family dinners, and how he said Luc could come also. I know my home life was shit, but I do miss the weekly dinners where everyone was there. Those were always kind of nice. And I like the idea of being able to do it again with your family.

It made me feel good when your dad said I was welcome there anytime day or night. And how he pulled me off to the side and said my father was wrong in the way he did me, trying to mate me to Adler. He also told me in many ways we remind him of your mother and him when they were our age, especially the way we look at each other. And when the mood turned a little to ‘chick flicky’ as you would say he offered to beat up my dad. I must admit I thought about taking him up on the offer. I can’t wait to go back next Saturday. I look forward to getting to know him better.

Well, I better get to taking notes. I haven’t been paying attention all class. You are a very bad influence.

Love Always, **YOUR** mate, **YOUR** Omega,  
Cas

P.S. Can’t wait to see you in Bio.

 

 

 

_Hey, Cas._

Shouldn’t you be paying attention to the teacher instead of passing me love notes?

_Probably. Don’t really feel much like paying attention though..._

Even through notes I can tell when something is wrong. So spill, what’s up?

_Well… Alder is pretty pissed, so physics sucked. I might have to ask Shurley to switch my class anyways. He decided to threaten me today in front of everyone, actually. I went to skip class and he told me if I left the classroom he would give me detention for the rest of the year, with him. And since I got it on purpose so much last semester, I’m pretty sure he could. So, I spent the class with snide remarks from him that I don’t think anyone really understood, other than him and me._

We are going to principal Shurley after school, Dean. You are getting out of that class immediately. I didn’t want to say anything, but he followed me into the restroom after lunch today.

_What the fuck?! Did he do anything? Say anything?_

He tried to play it off that he was shocked to see me in there, but I KNOW he followed me. It’s too much of a coincidence, you know? He asked me why I asked to be taken out of his class. I told him he knew exactly why. He didn’t look good, Dean. He looked sick and sweaty. He kept scenting the air. I think he was trying to scent me. Do you think he’s going through rejection? I got out of there quick. I didn’t give him time to say much, and he didn’t try anything.

_Yeah, Cas, I think he might be. He was completely irrational in class, even more so than his usual intensity. Man’s fucking crazy, but I’ve never seen him like I had today. Benny was the only thing keeping me grounded, I swear. He kept calling you ‘his property’ and said that he was going to sue me for ‘funds lost’. I have no idea what the fuck that’s supposed to mean, but he can’t sue me over a person! It’s illegal to use an Omega as property, so before I left I told him to go fuck himself._

I can’t believe he was acting like that in class. I’m honestly surprised he hasn’t found a way to let the whole damn school know we are mated, just because he knows we are trying to keep it underwraps, just to be vindictive. Do you think he has an ulterior motive for keeping that information private? Funds lost? Dean, do you think my dad sold me to him? I know it’s an archaic practice that was made illegal a long time ago, but it still happens. Could my dad have done that? Sold me like fucking property.

_I fucking hope he didn't... God, Cas, I'm just so glad that you chose me and fell in love with me before something bad happened. I don't trust Alder and after this shit... I don't trust that they wouldn't have forced a mating on you and that makes me want to throw up. I don't know why he hasn't told everyone yet... I was waiting for him to say your name or call you an angel but he didn't, just property and Omega._

I wouldn't put selling me past my dad, Dean. I wonder how much I went for? What was his son worth to him? I hate him, Dean. I hate him so goddamn much! And I hate Adler, too. That slimy bastard! The thought of him touching me, mating me, makes me so sick.

_We will talk to Luc after school today, okay? I am off tonight from work, so I'll meet you there after your shift. I'm going to stop by Shurley's office tomorrow morning, too, and let him know a little bit more about what's going on._

_Bottom line? You need to be comfortable here and with Alder being a creep? You can't be. We can't do anything about him looking at you in the halls and shit, but he sure as hell can’t be following you into fucking bathrooms._

Okay, but I want to go with you when you talk to principal Shurley. It's going to be me you're talking about, so I want to be there. Thank God, after this week our shifts sync. I hate working when you are off. Two more months, Dean. Two more months and we are out of here. I can't wait.

_Okay. It will be an hour before school starts… Should I pick you up in the morning?_

_And I know, Cas. I can't wait either. Just the thought of coming home every night to you is worth everything. We're almost there._

 

 

 

04/24 8:46PM Luc → Dean  
Dean, got a question for you. What are Alpha male demons into?

04/24 8:48PM Dean → Luc  
There are so many ways I could answer that… But, Luc, I must say… I know I’m a sexy mother fucker but I am already happily mated.

04/24 8:50PM Luc → Dean  
Of course you gotta be sarcastic. I don’t mean you specifically, Dean. Just, you know, Alpha male demons in general.

04/24 8:48PM Dean → Luc  
Well, they ARE male. So anyone would like their dick sucked. Am I right? Hah. Hah.

04/24 8:48PM Dean → Luc  
Dude, why are you asking?

04/24 8:46PM Luc → Dean  
I’m asking for a friend.

04/24 8:48PM Dean → Luc  
OMG.

04/24 8:48PM Dean → Luc  
LUCIFER! You sly dog. You totally have a boner for a demon, don't you?

04/24 8:46PM Luc → Dean  
If I use the asking for a friend line again are you gonna buy it?

04/24 8:48PM Dean → Luc  
Not even remotely.

04/24 8:46PM Luc → Dean  
Yes, Okay! There's this guy I work with, and well, I want to get to know him better but I’m not sure how to make the first move. I’ve never had a thing for a demon before and I don’t want to screw up before I’ve even tried. So, are you going to help me? My favorite brother-in-law. I’ll make the lasagna you like so much for dinner on Wednesday, extra cheesy garlic bread, too.

04/24 8:48PM Dean → Luc  
No mushrooms in the sauce and you have a deal.

04/24 8:46PM Luc → Dean  
Fine, okay. So, Alpha demon guy. How do I let him know I’m interested, but not desperate? I’m an Alpha, too, after all.

04/24 8:48PM Dean → Luc  
Have you tried the ever typical, but strangely successful, “Man, with those looks, I’m just as horny as you!”

04/24 8:46PM Luc → Dean  
Please tell me that line didn’t work on my little brother.

04/24 8:48PM Dean → Luc  
Of course not. He has wings, not horns, silly.

04/24 8:46PM Luc → Dean  
Oh God, why did I ever think going to you would be a good idea?

04/24 8:48PM Dean → Luc  
Because even though I'm hilarious and adorable, you know I'm going to help you anyways.

04/24 8:48PM Dean → Luc  
Demons aren't all that different, Luc. Like, really. Just think of me and Sammy -- we like the same things you and Cas do! It's his personality that's going to tell you about what will work on him.

04/24 8:48PM Dean → Luc  
Do you guys talk outside of work??

04/24 8:46PM Luc → Dean  
Yeah, every Monday and Friday we go to the bar down the street from the IT company we work at to grab a drink and shoot the shit.

04/24 8:48PM Dean → Luc  
Do you guys talk about other girls or guys at the bar? Work? Or do you talk about life, each other, stuff like that.

04/24 8:46PM Luc → Dean  
It started off mostly talking about work. Then last week it shifted and we spent the whole time talking about each others’ lives. It really felt like a date, instead of two dudes hanging out after work. I even walked him to his car after.

04/24 8:48PM Dean → Luc  
Was it weird at work the next day? Or has it been since?

04/24 8:46PM Luc → Dean  
No. not at all. It's been different, but not bad different, like he started taking his break the same time as me, and lunch. He comes to my office when he has down time just to hang out., It’s been… nice.

04/24 8:48PM Dean → Luc  
Well, that, to me, screams he at least likes you. And that in itself is shocking. You have a friend, Lucifer!

04/24 8:48PM Dean → Luc  
But, seriously, sounds like he's going out of his way to spend extra time with you. Do you know his preferences?

04/24 8:46PM Luc → Dean  
For your information, I have lots of friends.

04/24 8:46PM Luc → Dean  
And I know his ex was an Alpha, but an Alpha demon. So I got one out of two going for me.

04/24 8:48PM Dean → Luc  
The Alpha thing is interesting… I didn't realize you were into Alphas

04/24 8:46PM Luc → Dean  
Yeah well, he’s the first for your information. Secondary gender never really has meant much to me though. It’s all about the person, you know?

04/24 8:48PM Dean → Luc  
I mean, yes? That makes sense in a… how the fuck does that work, kind of way.

04/24 8:48PM Dean → Luc  
Are you a top or bottom?

04/24 8:48PM Dean → Luc  
Cause I totally need to know now.

04/24 8:46PM Luc → Dean  
I’m so adding mushrooms in the sauce.

04/24 8:48PM Dean → Luc  
I'm telling Cas you like it up the butt

04/24 8:46PM Luc → Dean  
EXTRA MUSHROOMS!

04/24 8:48PM Dean → Luc  
…

04/24 8:48PM Dean → Luc  
Worth it.


	9. Chapter Eight

Tuesday  
May 6th, 2008

CASTIEL!!!!!!!

You are officially mated to a college student!!! I GOT MY LETTER!!!!!

When you got yours last week and mine didn't come, I was completely convinced they were going to reject me. I started looking for possible full time jobs instead of just part time.

We have to put in our paperwork to see if we can get a Mated Dorm on campus. We could save for the first year and then get an apartment next summer. I brought my packet of stuff to school today. I figured we could keep everything together, so I was going to give it to you ~~so I don't lose it by accident~~.

I am so excited, Cas. This is real! It's really happening! Not even Alder’s smarmy glares in the hallway could bring me down this morning!!! We have 5 weeks and 4 days until we graduate and are free of this school and shitty people like him, and I can't wait!!!

Should I order us sweatshirts? I could get you a pair of sweatpants, too, if you want. Oh! I'll get Sammy a keychain or something saying, ‘My Brother goes to UCLA’. The nerd would totally carry that around everywhere.

I’m gonna eat lunch super quick today. Can I meet you for your senior study in the library? I want to talk to you about this in person!!!!!

Ugh, Mrs. Barnes is getting pissed I’m not paying attention. I’ll see you soon.

Love you!!!!!

Your COLLEGE STUDENT Alpha,  
Dean

 

Wednesday  
May 7th, 2008

Dean, My smart, sexy Alpha,

I never had any doubt that you would get in! I'm so beyond proud of you, baby. Officially mated to a super hot college student. All the other Omegas are going to be so jealous of me. I’m going to have the hottest Alpha on campus.

Let's get shirts, sweatpants, everything! I'm so happy, Dean! This is the happiest I have been since we mated. You know, I think I will get Luc a keychain too.

Five weeks and four days! And I'm marking them on my calendar. We are really doing this, Alpha! We are starting our life together. Can you believe it? It's honestly kind of surreal. If I had never met you I have no doubt I wouldn't even be going to college. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be allowed. I can't stop smiling!

Okay, apparently I look overly happy. I'm getting strange looks from the teacher and fellow classmates. Time to do actual school work. I will see you in Bio.

Love Always, **YOUR** mate, **YOUR** Omega,  
Cas

P.S. Baby, we are so celebrating tonight! ;)

 

Friday,  
May 9th, 2008

Hey, Cas!

Dad wants all of us over on Saturday since I get out of work at 4. He wants to do a Spring BBQ for us to celebrate us getting into school.

It's weird… I'm seeing a whole new side to my dad. I don't know if it was me and Sammy hiding stuff from him or what but… He only went out once this week and he came home before 10 pm, sober. It's just… weird. He sat down with us at breakfast this morning and wanted to make a grocery list with us. My life is just strange. Good, but strange.

Speaking of strange… I had an odd dream last night. I was having a conversation with an angel, and although I couldn't see her face, I'm pretty sure it was my mom. We were sitting at a park I used to go to when I was a kid and she was asking me about you. I sat on the swing, swinging back and forth, and just talked and talked about you. How beautiful your eyes are and how you look when you smile, the way you laugh at my shitty jokes. Then she asked about our future and I told her about school and how excited I was to live with you and be with you. nd I started talking about the future when you're a sexy, smart professor and I'm working all day with animals and then we go home to our kids and just… I want that so bad. I woke up and felt content and relaxed and ready for the life we're going to build. You're everything to me, Cas.

Do you want me to come to yours tonight? I know you got the day off tomorrow, and I'll have to wake up kinda early, but Lucifer said he was going to be spending the weekend with the Crowlster (No, I am not going to stop calling him that). I am assuming he's going to be staying over there since Crowlster has a bigger bed.

We should get a bigger bed, too. One with memory foam. Do you think the dorm will let us bring our own mattress?

I hope you're having a good morning. They're getting lax on the Senior Studies, especially now that most of us have been accepted into schools, so if you wanna eat lunch together maybe we can find a spot in the back of the library or down on the third floor lab area? There shouldn't be a lot of people down there.

Just text me and I'll get it after gym. Either way, I'll see you in bio.

Love you,  
Dean

 

Monday  
May 12th, 2008

Dean,

Good morning, Sweetheart. I had such a good time Saturday at the BBQ. It was really nice. It felt good to feel like part of your family and it was very kind of your father to extend the invite to Lucifer and Crowley. They really enjoyed themselves, also. It was kind of concerning how your dad and Luc hit it off. How they were taking bets on how many kids we would have and then proceeded to name them!

FYI we will not be naming our first born son Lucifer Jr.

As the days pass my excitement continues to grow. I’m especially excited today because I woke up to an email from UCLA saying we officially have a room in the mated dorms! We will be living together, Dean! Can you believe it? Everyday we will wake together and every night fall asleep in each other's arms, preferably with you knotted in me. ;)

We need to make a list of what we need. We need to shop for furniture! There's still so much left for us to do, baby.

I had another run in with Adler this morning... He cornered me in the hallway. He’s not stable Dean. Even with principal Shurley telling him to stay away from us, he still sought me out. His eyes were wide and pupils dilated... He was sweating and shaking. I think the scent bonding rejection is severe in his case. He just kept going on and on about how ‘a deal was a deal’ and he made one with my dad and how my dad should have kept a better eye on his Omega whore son because if he had, I wouldn’t have ended up mated to a goddamn demon.

I’m just glad no one was around to hear him... I told him to take that shit up with my father because I had nothing to with their sick little ‘deal’. He just stormed off after that, saying something about how this wasn’t over.

But you know what? Not even that ruined my good mood. I just can’t stop thinking about our future and about getting out of here. We are going to be so happy, Dean.  


Love Always, **YOUR** mate, **YOUR** Omega,  
Cas

P.S. See you in Bio, baby!!! :)

 

_I am seriously going to have to go and kick Alder’s ass, aren’t I?_

No, he’s not worth it.

_Cas… he can’t keep cornering you! That’s not okay._

Our time here is almost over. I just want to finish it out with as little drama as possible. You kicking his ass would be major drama.

_Yeah, but it would be 100% justified… Cas, if he is going to continue to be a fucking creep, that’s going to attract unwanted attention. Yes, he found you today when no one was around, but what if he does it again in the middle of lunch? Or during Senior Study? Or stalks you into one of your classes? He’s unhinged! I don’t trust him at all._

Dean I’m in such a good mood today. Let’s not talk about Adler anymore, okay?

_I am going to take care of it. That’s the last thing I am saying on it._

_I am glad you’re having a good day, baby. I think the dorm is going to come mostly furnished… we should check out that site they sent us to see what we need to bring and what they’re going to already have._

I know I definitely want to get a mini fridge and a microwave!

_Haha baby. They probably provide those for us! We will probably each have a desk, a dresser, and there will be a bed for us to share. Do you think they’ll be the same size as a regular dorm room? You said on your tour to University of Kansas that they were pretty freaking small… How are we going to get gaming chairs and a flat screen TV in there if there is NO ROOM to walk around?!_

LOL Don’t worry there will be room. The mated dorm room are a bit bigger than the regular sized dorm rooms. It says so in information packet.

_So, was that a yes? We can get gaming chairs and a flat screen TV!?_

You know I can’t tell you no, Alpha. As long as I get my mini fridge and microwave if it's not provided, then you can get your flat screen and gaming chairs. :)

_I am totally getting you two mini fridges and a microwave! You’re the best Omega anyone could ask for. I want the gaming chair that has the speakers IN the chair, because really, how fucking cool does that sound?! We can even play Netflix from the playstation and then we could hear the movies FROM OUR BUTTS. I don’t know why that makes me so excited, but I have needs, Cas. I have needs that require movies playing from my ass._

_God, that sounds so messed up._

You are something... But we will meet those needs, Alpha.

_That is why I love you, baby. Hey, have you talked to Sammy lately? He seemed a little off after the BBQ but when I asked him if something was wrong, he just laughed at me and went back into his room..._

No, it’s been awhile since we last texted. Would you like me to message him soon? Sometimes it’s easier for an Omega to talk to another Omega, especially if it has to do with ‘Omega’ things.

_Yeah… Can you? As much as I may be slightly jealous that it’s easier for him to talk to you, I’m really glad that he knows he can. You know, he called you his brother the other day when he was talking to Dad?_

That means so much to me, I think of him as my brother, too. And it’s nice to have him to talk to also. Sometimes it's easier to talk to him. I’m surrounded by Alphas. It’s nice to have another Omega to share things with.

_You know you can talk to me about anything, too, baby. I know I may not understand everything completely in the way that you’ve experienced it, but I am a good listener. Or, I try to be._

I know, sweetheart. No need to be jealous, Alpha. ;)

_I’m not jealous jealous, I just… don’t want you to think you can’t talk to me or that you need to hide something from me. I care about everything you say and anything that's important to you is important to me, too._

I know, Dean. You are the most kind, understanding Alpha I have ever known. It truly is an honor that you are mine. I love you so much. You know that, right?

_I love you, too :) I don’t know how the hell I got so lucky that I got to have you for the rest of my life, but I sure as hell am glad._

The feeling is definitely mutual, Alpha.

_We should probably at least pretend to pay attention to Ms. Milton… Am I bring you to work tonight or is Luc driving you over?_

I would very much like if you did, and pick me up after? Hey, are you staying with me tonight? FYI Luc won’t be home. ;)

_Oh, well then definitely!! I’ll tell Sammy to let Dad know and we’ll stop there after work so I can grab clothes for tomorrow._

 

05/13 6:03PM Cas → Sam  
Hey, Sam! It’s been awhile since we have texted. Thought I’d see how things are going with you.

05/13 6:05PM Sam → Cas  
Hey, Cas. I’m doing okay, I guess. How are things with you and Dean? And Luc and Crowley?

05/13 6:06PM Cas → Sam  
Thing are good with Dean and me, and Luc and Crowley. But I’m more interested in how things are with you. Anything new going on?

05/13 6:08PM Sam → Cas  
Same old, same old, I guess. I’m still me.

05/13 6:12PM Sam → Cas  
Do you ever… wonder if there’s something wrong with you, Cas?

05/13 6:13PM Cas → Sam  
I used to… until I mated Dean and I met you, not to mention Luc standing up to my dad the way he did. You guys helped me realized I’m perfectly fine the way I am. Why? Did someone say something to you, Sam?

05/13 6:14PM Sam → Cas  
No, no one said anything to me. I’m just… different than all of you guys.

05/13 6:15PM Cas → Sam  
What makes you think that?

05/13 6:17PM Sam → Cas  
I don’t know… You guys are just… all paired off and everything. You have Dean, and Luc has Crowley, and Dad had Mom and I just…

05/13 6:18PM Sam → Cas  
It’s different for me. I’m not like all of you.

05/13 6:19PM Cas → Sam  
You will find someone, Sam, someone who will make you happy and you can make happy in return.

05/13 6:22PM Sam → Cas  
Yeah, well… I’m apparently looking in the wrong places.

05/13 6:25PM Cas → Sam  
What do you mean wrong places? Where are you looking?

05/13 6:30PM Sam → Cas  
Do you notice the trend with all of you guys? You’re an angel, Dean’s a demon. Luc and Crowley, Dad and Mom, Angel and Demon. Apparently the prejudice against interspecies relationships was born from jealousy because all of you are a hundred times happier (from what I’ve been told about Mom and Dad) then any of the same species couples around here. And so isn’t that where I should be looking? For an angel Alpha? Because I don’t want to set myself up to be miserable with a demon…

05/13 6:33PM Cas → Sam  
Sam, it’s not about the person’s species, it’s about them. I would love Dean if he was an angel just as much as I do now. You won’t be miserable if you find an Alpha demon, not if they make you happy. What will make you miserable is if you have found a nice Alpha demon and you're not giving them a chance because you think you need an Alpha angel to be truly happy.

05/13 6:34PM Cas → Sam  
So… is there a Alpha demon that has caught your eye?

05/13 6:36PM Sam → Cas  
I don’t know, Cas… Dad and Dean obviously felt that an angel was the way to go. What if they’re mad I don’t do the same? It’s bad enough I’m an Omega and different from them, why do I want to stand out even more by bringing home an Alpha demon?

05/13 6:37PM Sam → Cas  
There… is a girl… but I don’t know. I haven’t talked to her.

05/13 6:38PM Cas → Sam  
Just because your father’s and Dean’s mates just happened to be angels doesn’t mean yours is meant to be. If you feel a pull towards this girl don’t push her away, give her a chance. Remember, it’s what’s on the inside that counts.

05/13 6:39PM Sam → Cas  
Do you really think it will be okay if I bring home a demon?

05/13 6:40PM Cas → Sam  
I really do, I think they will be happy as long as you are happy.

05/13 6:40PM Cas → Sam  
So what’s her name?

05/13 6:42PM Sam → Cas  
Just… don’t tell Dean, okay? I’m going to tell him later. I know he’ll be upset if he knows I talked to you about it first, or if he thinks I don’t think I can talk to him.

05/13 6:43PM Sam → Cas  
Her name is Jessica… and she’s, fuck Cas, she’s pretty amazing and I haven’t even talked to her myself.

05/13 6:45PM Cas → Sam  
I promise not to tell Dean. Jessica? It wouldn’t happen to be Jessica Moore would it?

05/13 6:48PM Sam → Cas  
… maybe.

05/13 6:49PM Sam → Cas  
How did you know?!

05/13 6:51PM Cas → Sam  
I may have seen you staring at her a time or two in poetry club.

05/13 6:53PM Sam → Cas  
Oh my god. What if she saw, too? What if she thinks I’m the biggest freak of nature ever!?

05/13 6:54PM Cas → Sam  
Hey, if it makes you feel better I may have seen her checking you out last Wednesday.

05/13 6:56PM Sam → Cas  
For real?

05/13 6:57PM Sam → Cas  
For real, for real? You can’t joke about this, Cas.

05/13 6:57PM Sam → Cas  
She really was?!

05/13 7:00PM Cas → Sam  
For real, for real. I swear. It was rather cute... she was watching you and smiling while the teacher was reading Frost’s The Road Not Taken. You should talk to her.

05/13 7:02PM Sam → Cas  
Oh my god, Cas. I can’t just… walk up to an Alpha and start talking to her! What the hell would I even say?! I mean, did YOU just walk up to Dean and start talking to him?

05/13 7:03PM Cas → Sam  
Yes, you can. You can walk right up to her and talk to her. I DID speak to Dean first… well after he caught me when I almost face planted because I caught his scent. That’s beside the point, though. I spoke to him first. How about you start with ‘Hello, I’m Sam. I think we have poetry club together.’ and see where it goes from there.

05/13 7:05PM Sam → Cas  
She makes me so nervous, though, Cas… She’s just… You’ve seen her! She’s beautiful and she’s smart and she’s kind and just fucking perfect. And she treats everyone in that club the same -- Alpha or Omega, demon or angel, and just… She’s going to smell that I’m nervous the second I am within two feet of her!

05/13 7:06PM Cas → Sam  
You don’t think I was nervous the first time I talked to Dean? You will do fine Sam, and more than likely she will be nervous, too. God knows Dean was… no matter how much he tries to say he was all cool. He stumbled over his words, it was quite endearing. Point is you will both be nervous. But just because you may get a case of the nerves, is that worth not talking to her?

05/13 7:07PM Sam → Cas  
She’s a junior, Cas… I’m just a freshman. What if she laughs at me? What if she tells me off? I don’t know what I would do…

05/13 7:09PM Cas → Sam  
What if she smiles at you? What if she starts up a conversation? There are so many what ifs. Life’s short, Sam. If you want my honest opinion, I say go for it. Talk to her. Take a chance. I can’t imagine my life now if I hadn’t taken a chance with your brother.

05/13 7:10PM Sam → Cas  
Okay… I’ll try to talk to her.

05/13 7:11PM Sam → Cas  
Thanks, Cas.

05/13 7:12PM Cas → Sam  
Anytime Sam. I’m here anytime you need to talk, no matter the topic. And I expect to hear back from you on how it went. :)

05/13 7:15PM Sam → Cas  
Definitely :D

 

Thursday,  
May 15th, 2008

Cas,

I am never going to go to your house ever again.

I am never going to be able to look at Luc ever again. No more Sunday night dinners or movie nights. As far a Luc knows, I don’t even exist anymore.

It’s one thing for him to know we have sex. It’s obviously happening. We’re mated, and you’re hot as hell. He knows and that’s fine, and I can push his buttons because that’s what younger brothers do and I’m basically his younger brother, but…

Cas, I can never look him in the eye again. Ever.

You weren’t facing the door, but I was, and let me tell you… there is a look that someone has on their face when they walk in and see their baby brother with an Alpha balls deep inside of them on the couch. And that look? That look is now the only look I can see when I think of Luc. That look can never be unlooked.

Just thinking about it makes me shudder.

Cas, I have never had my knot come down so fucking fast without actually coming before in my LIFE. I think he broke me. Seriously, your brother has scarred me for life. We’re never going to have sex again on a couch. Ever. If we even have sex again, period!

Nice, safe, vanilla sex in a normal bed like normal mates, behind a locked fucking door only.

That’s it. That’s our option.

Love, your incredibly embarrassed and basically broken Alpha,  
Dean

 

 

Thursday  
May 15th, 2008

I still can’t even, Cas.

I saw Sammy in the hall today and he asked if we were going to go over tomorrow night for movie night and I told him NO WAY IN HELL and I may have said it way too loudly and now he’s asking me what’s wrong and I told him nothing and… Do you know what he said?!

“Is this because Lucifer came home with Crowley and saw you fucking Cas on the couch?”

YOUR BROTHER TOLD MY BROTHER.

I can’t go home. I can’t go to your house.

I am living in my car. End of story.

Dean

 

05/15 10:07AM Cas → Dean  
Um, actually Dean… I may have told Sam.

05/15 10:08AM Cas → Dean  
And it’s not that bad, really. Crowley seemed to have had a good laugh from it.

05/15 10:15AM Dean → Cas  
I’m sorry, the number you are trying to reach is out of service because it’s owner has died of embarrassment and is apparently the only sane one in this family because everyone else seems to want to talk and joke about it!

05/15 10:19AM Cas → Dean  
It was my brother, my flesh and blood, and if I can laugh about it, you can. And nice vanilla sex? Who are we kidding? LOL. So I guess that means you want me to throw away my toys and lingerie then?

05/15 10:20AM Dean → Cas  
I want you to burn those black panties you were wearing because your BROTHER has seen you in them and they are OBVIOUSLY bad luck.

05/15 10:21AM Dean → Cas  
The rest… no. They can stay.

05/15 10:21AM Dean → Cas  
For nice, behind a locked door, bedroom sex.

05/15 10:22AM Dean → Cas  
Maybe bathroom sex, too.

05/15 10:23AM Cas → Dean  
What about in the backseat of the Impala? Is that still on the table?

05/15 10:24AM Cas → Dean  
And you tell Sam movie night is still on. Oh, and FYI Crowley is coming, too. You can’t hide forever, Alpha.

05/15 10:25AM Dean → Cas  
Caaaaaaaaaaas. How am I supposed to look Luc in the face?

05/15 10:30AM Cas → Dean  
The same way I do… with a big ass grin. ;)

05/15 10:42AM Dean → Cas  
You’re lucky I love you.

05/15 10:45AM Dean → Cas  
Fine. I will go to movie night but we are NOT sitting on that couch with them. I just… can’t.

05/15 10:50AM Cas → Dean  
I love you, too, Alpha. Oh, and that’s okay. We may have a new couch by then anyway. Luc said he can’t even look at it, let alone sit on it.

05/15 10:51AM Cas → Dean  
If he does get a new one, wanna break it in this weekend? :D

05/15 10:53AM Dean → Cas  
You are trying to kill me. It’s official.

05/15 10:55AM Dean → Cas  
If your brother buys a new couch and finds out we fucked on it? He will seriously kill me. Not joke about it, not be bribed into forgiveness with pizza. He will kill me.

05/15 10:57AM Cas → Dean  
Kill? No way. He knows I love you too much to actually kill you. Maim? Maybe.

05/15 10:58AM Dean → Cas  
Hah. Hah.

05/15 10:59AM Dean → Cas  
Seriously, if I walked in on an Alpha boning my baby brother…

05/15 11:02AM Dean → Cas  
Though, speaking of… Sammy told me last night that he’s got his eye on a certain female Alpha. So, maybe he won’t be boned, per say… But if I walk in on them tied? I would have the same look on my face that Luc had!

05/15 11:03AM Cas → Dean  
Do you know how much teasing I have endured? From BOTH Luc and Crowley. And I’m not whining. :P

05/15 11:05AM Dean → Cas  
You’re a much stronger person than me. I am okay with this.

05/15 11:06AM Cas → Dean  
Silly Alpha, I already knew that! Omegas are always stronger.

05/15 11:08AM Dean → Cas  
Yes, baby. :)

05/15 11:10AM Dean → Cas  
We’re going a group assignment now… Enjoy your lunch! I’ll text you after class.

05/15 11:11AM Cas → Dean  
Sounds good. Love you, Dean.

 

Sunday  
May 18th, 2008

Lucifer,

Hey, sorry about leaving this weird letter on your bed… I promise, all I did was open the door and drop it off. I just… I needed to talk to you and I don’t want Cas to know about it. Although he doesn’t always go through my phone, there is no reason for me to stop him from doing so and I would just prefer we could take care of this without him knowing.

I saw you texted Cas about staying with me this weekend because your dad had decided to make a surprise visit to the apartment. That combined with Alder increasing the amount of times he’s been trying to corner Cas and even me at school, means that we have a problem.

I want to know what your dad said. Cas didn’t ask because Cas doesn’t want to deal with it. He wants to focus on moving forward and forgetting that part of his life but… you and I both know the truth, Luc. Alder isn’t just going to move on. He’s scent bonded to Cas and that evokes a very different response in an Alpha than it does in an Omega. Alder is dangerous and I do not like that he continues to push himself at Cas when Cas is supposed to be safe at school. I’ve met with Principal Shurley twice now and although every teacher knows about the situation and has been trying to keep tabs on either Cas or Alder, Cas is going to figure that out pretty soon, if he hasn’t already.

You and I can’t keep playing the defensive. We can’t try to shelter Cas from your dad or from Alder by putting a bunch of other people in the middle and trusting them to care as much as you and I do. Alder is sick. I didn’t tell Cas yet, but on Friday he flat out told me how much your dad sold Cas for to him and how, technically, I owed him that money. I told him that selling Omegas as property was illegal so it was stupid of him to even make that deal in the first place and he just laughed at me and started hacking up a lung. His body is still going through rejection… and it’s been what, weeks now since his mind confirmed that Cas was mated?

I’m going to bring Cas to work tomorrow, and I’m not going to tell him I’m calling out. I’ll tell him later, once we figure all of this out. I don’t want to lie to him, but I also don’t want him to tell me I’m being ridiculous about this. I have a really, really bad feeling about this, Luc. I don’t want Cas to end up hurt… not again.

Let me know, I’ll talk to you later.

Dean

 

Monday  
May 19th, 2008

Dean,

Hope you don’t mind me leaving this letter on the Impala’s windshield, and I sure as hell hope you see it before Cas. I’m free tonight, we should definitely get together. We have a lot to talk about. I will let you know everything Dad said when we meet up. I would rather not do it by letter. Meet me at the apartment after you drop Cas off at work.

Luc

 

05/19 7:07PM Sam → Cas  
Did you just call me? I was in the shower.

05/19 7:08PM Cas → Sam  
Yeah, I was just wondering if you have heard from Dean. I’ve been texting him for the past few hours and he hasn’t answered me back.

05/19 7:10PM Sam → Cas  
No, I haven’t… Last I talked to him, I asked him to pick up a gallon of milk at work to bring home and he told me he didn’t work today. I told him not to worry about it then and just went to the corner store for half a gallon.

05/19 7:11PM Sam → Cas  
Why? You didn’t get the night off, too?

05/19 7:15PM Cas → Sam  
That’s strange. He didn’t tell me he had taken the night off. In fact when he dropped me off at Baskin, I told him to have a good night at work and he told me okay.

05/19 7:16PM Cas → Sam  
He lied to me Sam. Why would he lie to me?

05/19 7:17PM Sam → Cas  
Shit, Cas. I don’t know.

05/19 7:17PM Sam → Cas  
But I’m sure it’s nothing like what you’re thinking right now.

05/19 7:18PM Sam → Cas  
I’ll try calling him, okay?

05/19 7:19PM Cas → Sam  
Okay. I’m going to call Luc and see if he has heard from him. Let me know if he answers ,Sam. He’s got some damn explaining to do.

05/19 7:20PM Sam → Cas  
Yeah, Cas, of course. Try not to worry, okay? I bet you Dean has a good reason. He’s fucking crazy about you and although he shouldn’t have ever lied to you, I know he’s not doing something bad.

05/19 7:29PM Sam → Cas  
So I tried a few times, but his phone is off. Do you want me to text Dad and see if he heard from him tonight?

05/19 7:31PM Cas → Sam  
No, that’s okay, Sam. No need to worry your dad. I tried calling Luc and his phone went straight to voicemail, too.

05/19 7:32PM Sam → Cas  
Do you need a ride home? We can try Crowley…

05/19 7:33PM Sam → Cas  
Or I can ask Jess. She gave me her number yesterday :D And we’ve been talking lately. I can ask her if you really need one.

05/19 7:50PM Sam → Cas  
Cas?

05/19 8:00PM Cas → Sam  
Sorry, but I just got off the phone with Dean. He and Luc have been arrested! I just called a cab to take me back to the apartment where the Impala is and I’m going to go bail them out.

05/19 8:02PM Sam → Cas  
WHAT?!

05/19 8:02PM Sam → Cas  
How the hell were they arrested?!

05/19 8:03PM Sam → Cas  
Why were they arrested?

05/19 8:05PM Cas → Sam  
They were trespassing on Adler’s property.

05/19 8:06PM Cas → Sam  
Oh, and apparently Dean took a swing at him.

05/19 8:08PM Sam → Cas  
They are so fucking stupid.

05/19 8:09PM Sam → Cas  
Do you want me to meet you at your place, or are you bringing Dean here?

05/19 8:15PM Cas → Sam  
Oh, I’m definitely bringing Dean there after I pick him up. I don’t want him anywhere near me until I calm down. And I might leave Luc there as well.

05/19 8:15PM Cas → Sam  
Goddamn stupid Alphas!

05/19 8:16PM Sam → Cas  
:(

05/19 8:16PM Sam → Cas  
I’m sorry, Cas. Would it help if I said they probably thought they’d thought it through and had a good reason for doing whatever the fuck they were trying to do?

05/19 8:17PM Cas → Sam  
Thanks for trying, Sam, but no not really. I know what they were trying to do… They went behind my back to deal with a situation that revolved around me. If they had thought it through they would have known that is exactly the last thing I wanted. Luc, I expect this shit from. But not Dean, not after what happened before. He knew I didn’t want Alphas making my decisions for me, yet here he goes doing what HE thinks is best for me when all I wanted was to graduate without all this goddamn drama!

05/19 8:19PM Sam → Cas  
Just… his heart was in the right place, Cas. He cares about you. So does Luc. Try not to kill them, okay?

05/19 8:21PM Cas → Sam  
No promises

 


	10. Chapter Nine

05/20 8:16AM Dean → Cas  
Hey, I didn’t get to see you this morning… Luc said you took the bus??

05/20 9:52AM Dean → Cas  
Hey baby. How’s your morning going?

05/20 12:04PM Dean → Cas  
Hey! I see you :D I can bring my lunch to the library if you want to sit with me for half an hour?

05/20 12:07PM Dean → Cas  
Oooookay… or not… You can hang out with Balthazar, too. That’s cool.

05/20 12:09PM Dean → Cas  
I saw you look at your phone. You’re really THAT pissed at me that I’m getting the silent treatment?

05/20 12:10PM Dean → Cas  
Love you, too. I’m sure NO ONE saw you flick me off across the cafeteria.

05/20 12:12PM Dean → Cas  
Okay, okay, you don’t have to leave. I’ll stop texting you.

05/20 2:48PM Dean → Cas  
How’s Euro History? Am I bringing you home this afternoon?

05/20 2:55PM Dean → Cas  
School ends in 15 minutes, babe. Can you at least say yes or no so I don’t stand at my car like an idiot forever or leave without you?!

05/20 2:55PM Cas → Dean  
NO

05/20 3:00PM Dean → Cas  
O_O I will assume that means you DO NOT want me to come over after work??

05/20 3:00PM Cas → Dean NO

05/20 3:01PM Dean → Cas  
Love you.

05/20 8:22PM Dean → Cas  
I hope you have a good night, Cas. I’m sorry…

05/20 10:12PM Dean → Cas  
Sleep well baby. Love you.

 

05/21 8:22AM Dean → Cas  
Morning baby!!

05/21 8:25AM Dean → Cas  
Are you still bullshit at me?

05/21 8:30AM Dean → Cas  
What if I send you a bunch of gifs of crying puppy dogs? No one can resist puppy dog faces.

05/21 8:36AM Dean → Cas  


05/21 8:40AM Dean → Cas  


05/21 8:45AM Dean → Cas  


05/21 8:59AM Dean → Cas  
Come on, Cas!!!

05/21 9:01AM Dean → Cas  
Look, even Sammy is shocked!

05/21 9:05AM Dean → Cas  
Will you at least write in the damn note book if you won’t freaking talk to me?!

05/21 11:47AM Dean → Cas  
You’re driving me crazy, Castiel.

 

_Don’t give me that look. If you would just TALK to me I wouldn’t have to go into your backpack for our notebook, which, you haven’t given to me or written in in DAYS._

Two days hardly warrants this type of overreaction, Dean. Remember the time you went over a week ignoring me, and I didn’t even do anything to deserve that.

_So, this is payback for that? Is that what this is?!_

No, Dean. It is not. I’m ignoring you because you behaved like an ass and got arrested! Do you have any idea how rash you acted? How that could affect your future, OUR future? I asked you to let it be and what did you do? You went behind my back!

_Do you even want to hear why we did it or what happened? Or do you just want to stay pissed off at us forever?_

I’m trying to pay attention to the teacher, Dean. So kindly stop distracting me.

_Fine. You know, maybe they should charge me for assault and trespassing. I could go to jail instead of college since it’s not like you even want me around anyways. I’m not going to go through the next who knows the fuck how long with you just ignoring me. I’d rather you have a reason to ignore me, like me not even being allowed a cell phone! Maybe, I should just head there right now and suggest that to them._

 

05/21 3:00PM Cas → Dean  
Seriously? Your dramatics are only pissing me off more.

05/21 3:03M Dean → Cas  
I’m sorry, you may not have heard me, but I told Ms. Milton I had an awful stomach ache and needed to leave class. I’m sorry your Alpha being sick is ‘dramatics’

05/21 3:15PM Cas → Dean  
Sure Dean, whatever. Don’t worry about giving me a ride. I’m taking the bus.

05/21 3:18M Dean → Cas  
I figured, Cas. I’m not even at school anymore, so don’t worry about it.

05/21 3:19PM Dean → Cas  
Before you get on my case, I was actually sick and Nurse Hascom sent me home.

05/21 6:45PM Dean → Cas  
Hope you’re having a good night. Love you.

 

05/21 6:49PM Dean → Luc  
You getting the cold shoulder from Cas, too?

05/21 7:00PM Luc → Dean  
Fuckin arctic man. Hell, all I’ve gotten is a few texts from him since that night, one or two word replies.

05/21 7:02PM Dean → Luc  
Yeah, me, too. He won’t talk to me at all.

05/21 7:06PM Dean → Luc  
I’m sure he doesn’t ignore you around the house as much, so there’s that, right?

05/21 7:07PM Luc → Dean  
Dean, he hasn’t stayed at the apartment since the night he bailed us out.

05/21 7:08PM Dean → Luc  
Where the fuck is he staying?!

05/21 7:10PM Luc → Dean  
With his best friend.

05/21 7:12PM Dean → Luc  
Balthazar or Meg?!

05/21 7:13PM Luc → Dean  
Balthazar.

05/21 7:14PM Luc → Dean  
You didn’t know? Hell, he really is giving you the cold shoulder.

05/21 7:18PM Dean → Luc  
Meeting with Sheriff Mills today was exhausting. I’m gonna head to bed.

05/21 7:20PM Luc → Dean  
Dean, Zar is just a friend. You know that, right? Cas would never do anything to hurt you. He just needs space from both of us at the moment. And we need to at least respect that. Especially since he thinks we betrayed him by going behind his back against his wishes.

05/21 7:22PM Dean → Luc  
Yeah, no. I’m not worried about Balthazar. I’m glad Cas has him as a friend and someone he can talk to freely about all of this shit. That’s good, and honestly, better than Meg.

05/21 7:25PM Dean → Luc  
Cas is hurting me, Luc. But it’s fine. It’s not like I don’t -- like we don’t deserve it, right? It will be just fine. So… I’m just gonna go to bed. Tomorrow will be better. Right?

05/21 7:28PM Luc → Dean  
You know I’m here for you Dean, no matter what you need. Come over any time, if you need. Are you okay? Are you feeling okay?

05/21 7:30PM Dean → Luc  
I know. Thanks, Luc. I’m good, I promise.

05/21 7:31PM Luc → Dean  
You know I’ve got so used to having someone around, it’s awful lonely here by myself. Would you like to come stay the night, Dean? We could get some pizzas, watch a action movie. What do you say?

05/21 7:32PM Dean → Luc  
Thanks… but I’m good. I went home feeling crappy today and I really just want to sleep. I have to get up early to work on homework I missed. Maybe tomorrow?

05/21 7:33PM Luc → Dean  
I’ll be home tomorrow night, so come on over if you want.

 

05/21 9:36PM Dean → Cas  
Sorry I’m not a good Alpha, Cas. I’m sorry I let you down again. I’m glad you have a friend like Balthazar to help you and that you feel comfortable talking to him. He’s a good friend.

05/21 9:40PM Dean → Cas  
I hope you have a good night. I’m sorry for bugging you. I love you.

 

05/22 7:42AM Dean → Cas  
Have a good day at school. Love you.

 

05/22 6:29PM Dean → Cas  
Have a good night. I love you, Cas.

 

05/23 10:17AM Dean → Cas  
Sorry.

 

05/23 7:33PM Luc → Dean  
Hey, it’s Friday. How about that movie night?

05/23 7:40PM Dean → Luc  
I’m good.

05/23 7:41PM Luc → Dean  
C’mon, man. Alpha time with pizza! Hell, I’ll even give you a beer.

05/23 8:01PM Luc → Dean  
I’ll be here if you change your mind.

05/23 9:09PM Luc → Dean  
Are you okay, man?

 

05/23 10:07PM Luc → Sam  
Hey, Sam. I was just texting to see how Dean is doing.

05/23 10:10PM Sam→ Luc  
He says he’s okay… but I don’t know. He’s been sick, actually. Hasn’t been to school since he came home early on Wednesday. Dad’s out on a trip right now, but Dean told him he didn’t need to come home or anything. I’ve been making sure he’s eating and drinking…

05/23 10:11PM Sam→ Luc  
It’s a weird flu, though. I’ve never really seen him sick like this before. He’s not coughing or throwing up or anything.

05/23 10:15PM Luc → Sam  
No, Sam. I don’t think it’s the flu. I think Dean’s body and mind thinks Cas has rejected him, so he’s going through rejection. Have you learned about rejection in school yet, Sam?

05/23 10:16PM Sam→ Luc  
Oh, shit… No, that’s not until next year. I just know what people have said about it.

05/23 10:16PM Sam→ Luc  
But it’s dangerous, isn’t it?! Can’t an Alpha die from their mate rejecting them?!

05/23 10:17PM Luc → Sam  
It won’t come to that, Sam. I promise. Cas isn’t rejecting him, he’s just pissed. Dean’s Alpha just don't see it that way. Listen, I’m going to come pick you and Dean up, and we are bringing him back here. We are going to put him in Cas’ room so he can be surrounded by his scent. And you are gonna text Cas since he won’t talk to me or Dean. He’s going to have to stow his issues, because his mate needs him.

05/23 10:26PM Sam→ Luc  
How did I not see this was happening?! What if Dean really is hurt by this, Luc? What if we can’t fix him? I just tried to get him up and I can’t even get him out of the bed! What if Cas is so mad he doesn’t even care or he won’t listen to me?

05/23 10:27PM Sam→ Luc  
Everything I’m reading online says this is really, really bad, Luc. Why are you so confident Dean’s going to be fine?!

05/23 10:30PM Luc → Sam  
First off, stop reading things online, it’s just going to freak you out more. You didn’t see it happening because you haven’t learned about it in school yet, so do not blame yourself. Hell, I bet Dean doesn't even know what’s happening to him. And no matter how mad Cas is, Sam, as soon as he hears his mate is hurting, he will come. He loves Dean. He’s just mad, but no matter how mad he is, he won’t let Dean continue to hurt. Don’t try to get him up again. You could hurt yourself or him. I’m getting in my car now, I’ll be there in ten.

05/23 10:34PM Sam→ Luc  
I can’t stop, Luc. The National Institute of Mental Health says that typically mate rejection phases begin after weeks. WEEKS, Luc. It’s been 5 days since Cas was pissed at him and only 3 since Dean hasn’t seen him. What the hell is going through Dean’s head to make this happen?! What if we can’t fix it? What if my brother is broken?! What if Cas DOESN’T care?!

05/23 10:35PM Sam→ Luc  
I am freaking out, Luc. You need to fix him. You need to make him better.

05/23 10:39PM Luc → Sam  
I’m here Sam, come unlock the door.

 

05/24 1:02AM Sam→ Cas  
Are you up?!

05/24 1:03AM Cas → Sam  
Yes, I’m up. Is everything okay?

05/24 1:04AM Sam→ Cas  
No, Cas. It’s fucking not.

05/24 1:05AM Cas → Sam  
What’s wrong? What’s going on? Are you okay, Sam?

05/24 1:05AM Sam→ Cas  


05/24 1:08AM Cas → Sam  
What, why are you sending me an article about rejection, Sam?

05/24 1:15AM Sam→ Cas  
Because I am currently sitting in your room with our brothers, burying Dean in your bed with all of the clothes we could find that smell like you. Dean hasn’t gotten out of bed since Tuesday except to piss and hide the food I’ve tried to bring him. Now, he’s refusing to take anything, even with Lucifer sitting on him and trying to force it down his throat. I am sitting here watching my brother fall apart because you’ve been too mad at him to see any of the signs when you’re the one who would’ve seen them first.

05/24 1:18AM Sam→ Cas  
And I should’ve seen them. I should’ve realized something was wrong and asked Luc or Dad for help instead of just letting Dean tell me he was fine, because he’s not fine. Luc said he will be, but I’ve never seen Dean look like this and

05/24 1:20AM Sam→ Cas  
You gotta fix this, Cas. You need to make Dean better. Because if he…

05/24 1:23AM Sam→ Cas  
I know you’re mad. I know you feel betrayed. I know they were stupid Alphas and went behind your back and they definitely shouldn’t have but… if something happens to Dean… I don’t know what to do, Cas. I can’t fix this.

05/24 1:25AM Cas → Sam  
But I never rejected him. I just needed my space to be pissed and to get over his betrayal on my own terms. Just because he hurt me. I never wanted to hurt him.

05/24 1:28AM Sam→ Cas  
I know, and I’m sure Dean will know, too when he’s not out of his mind.... But whatever is going on in there, you did hurt him. Lucifer doesn’t know why it’s so accelerated… A normal rejection, like Adler and his scent bond breaking, takes weeks to get bad. All I can guess is that Dean already thinks everything is his fault anyways. I don’t know why the hell he blames himself for everything, and whatever you said to him or didn’t say to him has made him believe you didn’t want him anymore.

05/24 1:29AM Sam→ Cas  
Luc just said apparently teenage rejections are typically faster because teenagers are usually ‘emotionally unstable’. Which, sorry, but that’s definitely true with the two of you.

05/24 1:30AM Sam→ Cas  
You may not have rejected him, Cas, but Dean’s body and mind believe you have. Has he tried texting you lately?

05/24 1:31AM Cas → Sam  
No, I just figured he was giving me the space that I needed to work through this.

05/24 1:32AM Sam→ Cas  
Mates work through shit together, Cas... The two of you give me a headache! Dean’s just a dumb Alpha, which can only go so far as an excuse but… this is just bad, Cas.

05/24 1:33AM Sam→ Cas  
Luc said Dean should be stable for tonight and everyone should try to get some sleep. He doesn’t want your friend driving in the middle of the night and he doesn’t feel comfortable leaving Dean.

05/24 1:35AM Cas → Sam  
Too late, we are leaving here now. No matter what’s going on with Dean and me, there’s no way I’m gonna let my mate go another night thinking I rejected him. No matter how mad I am, he’s the love of my life. I don’t want him to hurt because of a misunderstanding.

05/24 1:36AM Sam→ Cas  
I’m sorry if I sounded harsh, Cas… I’m just really freaked out here. Just… you’ll see when you get here. It’s not good.

05/24 1:37AM Sam→ Cas  
Drive safe, okay? I’ll go unlock the front door for you.

05/24 1:37AM Sam→ Cas  
Thank you.

05/24 1:38AM Cas → Sam  
I’ll be there soon.

 

05/24 1:39AM Cas → Dean  
Dean, baby, I’m on my way home. I’m so sorry, I didn’t know you thought I rejected you. I love you, Alpha. I would never reject you. You're my life. Why didn’t you tell me you were that sick?

 

05/24 1:40AM Sam→ Cas  
Whatever you just texted Dean, it's the first time we’ve seen him respond to anything in a few hours. I don’t think he can respond, but he definitely read it.

05/24 1:41AM Cas → Sam  
We just pulled up, I’m on my way in.

 

_Why did you give me paper?_

I was feeling nostalgic. Remember when the only way we could interact was through the notebook?

_Yeah, I do._

I thought we could lay in bed and pass notes. But if you think it’s silly we can just talk.

_No, I like reading your writing. It’s always made me feel special whenever I got a note or letter from you. Don’t really want to talk out loud anyways._

You are special, Alpha. How are you feeling today?

_Stupid. Guilty. Embarrassed. I’m sorry you had to leave your friend’s house to come here._

It was time I came home. Time I faced things instead of being pissed. Don’t feel stupid, guilty, or embarrassed. I’m so sorry you felt as if I rejected you. I love you, Dean, no matter what happens, that will never change. You are my one, my only, my Alpha.

_Our brothers had to bury me in your dirty laundry, Cas, after Lucifer carried me up two flights of stairs because I refused to walk. Pretty sure that beats him catching us being knotted on the couch…_

_And… you didn’t say it back._

Say what back?

_That you loved me. You didn’t say it back, not once. I said it every day when I texted you and you just…_

I was just so pissed, but that was wrong of me. It was downright cruel now that I think about it, and put myself in your shoes. No matter how mad I was I should have told you I loved you, too, because I do and even when I was upset that didn’t stop. I should have said it back and just told you I needed time instead of ignoring you.

_I’m sorry, Cas. I’m sorry Luc and I went to Adler’s house without telling you. I’m sorry I didn’t listen when you told me to drop it. I’m sorry that I put you in a position where you felt betrayed and that not talking to me was a better option for you. I’m really not a good Alpha at all…_

That’s not true. You are a great Alpha. After a lot of thinking and hearing Balthazar's opinion I know you didn’t do it because you were posturing. You did it because you love me and you were trying to protect me, like a good Alpha, like a good mate does. I… just... when I got that call, all I could think was how that could screw up our future before it even began. And honestly, I felt guilty. If you hadn’t mated me, you wouldn’t be dealing with this drama and now you may end up with a record that could interfere with you going to college.

_Cas, my future is going to be with you, no matter what happens. Whether I go to college or not. I don’t regret mating you for a second. The thought of this being wrong for me has never crossed my mind. January… I claim temporary insanity, and even so, it wasn’t me regretting you. It was me thinking you could do better than me. Which… I mean, you probably could. Adler and your dad were threatening you and your safety and well being means a hell of a lot more to me than going to school._

_Balthazar’s opinion? Your angel buddy sided with me?!_

My future is with you, too, Dean. Whatever happens, we will work through it...together. There is no one better than you for me, Alpha. And yeah, Balthazar said he would have done the same thing in you guys’ shoes. He would have protected his mate all all cost even if they did get pissed off at him for it. At least they would have been safe. Hell, he said if he had known he would have joined you guys.

_We still should have told you, though. Even Luc agrees going behind your back was shitty..._

If you had told me I would have tried to stop you guys. What’s the saying… ‘Better to ask for forgiveness than permission’.

_Do you forgive me, Cas?_

Yes, Alpha. I forgive you. I love you.

_I love you, too. Can we… stop writing for a while? I kind of just want to lay here with you in your arms. Is that okay?_

Better than okay. I love when you hold me.

 

Monday,  
May 26th, 2008

Hey baby,

I so should not have come back to school this week. Not only do I have a ridiculous amount of work to catch up on (which won’t be excused unless I go to the nurse about my… rejection state… and I don’t want to do that), I heard a fantastic rumor this morning.

Someone found the police log from Monday night, so of course, they know that Lucifer and I were arrested for trespassing and assault from Adler’s property. It’s kind of funny how close they got to the truth and how very, very wrong they were…

Ready for this one?

Lucifer and I are apparently mated and either Lucifer was cheating on me with Adler, or Adler wanted Lucifer, and I snapped and attacked him.

People believe that I am mated to your brother.

Someone apparently knows that Lucifer is with an Alpha though they don’t know who… I guess it’s easier to just assume it’s me!? Benny told me that’s what he’d heard this morning and I just stared at him. Like, what?! I couldn’t even deny it, I was so shocked! So of course the rest of the people around us watched me just stare at Benny like a dumb ass and Bela Talbot yelled out, “Oh my God. It’s true! Dean’s with an Alpha angel!”

Sam texted me and apparently even the freshman are talking about it!!!

The second rumor I heard was that Adler isn’t in school because I beat him and he’s in the hospital so... I mean, at least most people are afraid to actually come up and ask me right out. They think I’m a scary mother fucker :)

For the record? I swung at Adler and he basically put me in a choke hold until the police got there, so… he’s definitely not in school because I put him in the hospital…

I hope your day is going much better than mine!

Love you,  
Dean

 

Monday,  
May 26th, 2008

Dean,

I don’t know whether to laugh or gag. Laugh that people actually think you're with Luc or gag at the mental images that flashes in my mind of you with my brother. It’s kinda funny, though. I can’t believe people actually think that. Oh well, you know how high school is. Some other juicy gossip will come along and this will be old news by the end of the week.

Bring your school work to the apartment after school and I will help you get caught up. I still can’t apologize enough that I caused you to go through that... I remember how much it hurt when I thought you didn’t want to be with me anymore. I felt like my heart had been torn out, and I wasn’t even going through rejection.

My day is going okay, I guess. I miss you. I didn’t want to come back to school today. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you are well enough to have come back, but a selfish part of me wishes we could have just stayed curled up in bed today. Ever since I found out you were sick, I just want to… no, I need to be close to you.

Can I cook you dinner tonight? Luc is staying with Crowley, so it will be just us. I know a home cooked meal doesn’t make up for me being so stubborn and what that stubbornness put you through, but my inner Omega has been on edge ever since I saw you that night curled up on my bed, sweating and shaking, covered in my clothes. I just feel this strong urge to care for you. So I was thinking I could make you chicken parm and we could cuddle on the couch and watch a movie. And after the movie, I want you to take me to my room and make love to me, Alpha. It’s been almost two weeks, and I think that level of intimacy would be good for us both. So, what do you say? Nice romantic candlelit dinner, movie and cuddling followed by making love for hours until we fall asleep tangled together and sated in my bed. I don’t know about you, Alpha, but that sounds like heaven to me.

Love Always, **YOUR** mate, **YOUR** Omega,  
Cas

P.S. Quick question… If you were with Luc who would be top and who would be bottom? Sorry couldn’t resist!

 

_I would so be the top, and you know it. Plus, I’m pretty sure Luc bottoms with Crowley… I don’t know, I’ve never outright asked, but that seems to be implied more often than anything else. I love your plan for tonight… I just have one modification. I want to help you make dinner. Even if you just have me stir or something… I don’t really want to hang out in the living room by myself while you cook for us._

I don’t know. I’m pretty sure Luc and Crowley switch. I caught them playing rock paper scissors one night before going to bed. I think that’s how they decide who, um, is going to ‘pitch’ and who’s going to ‘catch.’ And I would love for you to help me cook, that feels so…. Domestic. What do you think about my ideas for after dinner?

_I don’t think I’ve heard a better idea all day long. I would love to take you to bed after and show you how much you mean to me. You really think they do that? Do you… do you think it’s actually… enjoyable, for the ‘catcher’, I mean? It’s gotta be, right? Otherwise there wouldn’t be Alpha/Alpha couples… Have you ever thought about - Nevermind._

I assure you it is VERY enjoyable for the ‘catcher,’ and as far as have I ever thought about it the other way? No, I’m quite happy with how our sex life is. I just don’t think I would enjoy it if roles were switched. I like your knot too damn much. ;)

_Yeah, there was a moment there about wondering but… the idea of… Yeah, no. I would try it if you really wanted to, but that doesn’t fill me with any sort of desire what-so-ever. I’m pretty happy with our sex life, too. Plus, your ass is so much better than mine._

Oh, I agree. I do have the better ass, plus it produces it’s own lube. Can’t beat that.

_No, you most definitely can’t. Nature’s honey :P Omg, Cas. Benny just totally looked over here at what I wrote. Do you see how red his face is right now?!_

Wow, I didn’t even know it was possible to turn that shade of red. He’s going to tease you so much. You know that, right?

_Oh yeah, he is. I am already resigned to that fact. That’s okay, it’s worth it. Everyone should know that your slick is the sweetest. YES, BENNY. I LIKE EATING MY OMEGA’S ASS. EYES ON YOUR OWN PAPER._

OMG, DEAN! Now I think my face is a shade of red that matches Benny!

_Hahahhahahaa sorry, baby. He’s minding his own business now, though._

You are so not sorry, Winchester. You know it and I know it.

_You love me. I’m fantastic and hilarious and 100% right all the time. Or, well, a good amount of it anyways. Maybe._

Mm-hm, you are lucky you’re sexy and know how to use that tongue… and, other parts of your anatomy very very well. ;)

_I love you, Cas. I’m sorry this week sucked… I don’t want to ever hurt you again, or make you feel like I’ve betrayed you or gone behind your back. You’re everything to me. You’re my mate and my Omega, my other half. Everything I do is for you and for us._

I don’t ever want to hurt you again either, baby. I know we will fight, all mates do. But I need you to know that if I need space, I’m in no way rejecting you. That’s just how I function. I need to work things out in my head. But I promise you I will never ignore you like I did. I will never make you feel unloved. You are my life, Dean, my wonderful Alpha.

_Rationally, I know that… I don’t know why my body reacted the way that it did. The first time you didn’t say you loved me back, it hurt, but then my mind kept saying, ‘He didn’t say it back because you ruined it. He doesn’t love you anymore.’ and I kept trying and you kept being mad and… I don’t know, I started to believe it._

Let’s make a promise to each other. Let’s promise no matter how pissed we are at each other, we will always reassure the other that we love them.

_Sounds like a plan to me, baby._

 

05/28 4:40PM Sam → Dean  
Ummm, so you may have forgotten to tell Dad that you were arrested last week…

05/28 6:12PM Dean → Sam  
Um, maybe? He just got home Sunday and I’ve been a bit busy with Cas… Why?

05/28 6:15PM Sam → Dean  
Sheriff Mills stopped by the house tonight and Dad was home early.

05/28 6:16PM Dean → Sam  
Fuck. Is that why I had a missed call from him?

05/28 6:18PM Sam → Dean  
Yeah, he was pretty shocked when she was at the door asking for you.

05/28 6:19PM Dean → Sam  
What did she say to him?

05/28 6:21PM Sam → Dean  
Basically that as an adult Alpha, it wasn’t up to her to divulge information about an open investigation and that while you weren’t under arrest, so he didn’t need to worry about her being there, she needs you to get in contact with her as soon as possible.

05/28 6:25PM Sam → Dean  
Dad took her business card and then immediately called you, though I told him you were working so you wouldn’t be able to answer. He almost called Cas, but I convinced him not to.

05/28 6:26PM Dean → Sam  
Jesus Christ… Okay, thanks Sammy. I’ll talk to him when I get out of work. I should be home around 8:30.

05/28 6:27PM Sam → Dean  
Okay, do you want me to let him know that?

05/28 6:29PM Dean → Sam  
Yeah, might as well. Got any ideas of how I can break the news to him while making it sound like it’s not a big deal that I didn’t tell him last week?

05/28 6:30PM Sam → Dean  
You’re so on your own, dude.

05/28 6:31PM Dean → Sam  
Bitch.

05/28 6:31PM Sam → Dean  
Jerk :D

 

Thursday,  
May 29th, 2008

Good morning, Handsome,

Sorry I didn’t end up coming back over last night after I dropped you off. Dad was pretty upset that he found out from the Sheriff that I had been arrested and that yet again, Sam or I hadn’t told him. I told him that it was kind of like if I had been a minor and he found out from a knock on the door, and he was not impressed with that response. I got the whole, “while you’re under my roof, my rules” spiel and had to apologize a million times for letting it slip my mind. I honestly didn’t want him to worry and think he had to come home early from his trip or something. He just said, “When you have kids, you’ll understand.”

Which, I hope not. If our kids ever get arrested for punching a teacher -- no matter how much of a douchebag he is -- I will be forced to kill them. Just a fair warning to our future babies.

So, anyways, I called Sheriff Mills on the way into school this morning and since I’m off of work today, I have to go down to the station and chat with her. I know you and I didn’t talk much about what actually happened when Luc and I were arrested… but, at the station, she was the officer that took us in and took our statements. She actually listened to us when we told her why we were there in the first place. Although she gave me that disappointed look that I had lost my cool and took a swing at Adler, she seemed to really care about where we were coming from and was genuinely concerned about our concerns. Which, was pretty cool, actually. She let Luc and I tell her about what was going on with Adler and your dad, how they’d treated you, how we were mated and that Adler had scent bonded with you from a sample your dad had given him… She said that she wanted to help us.

I’m hoping she’s going to be able to. Adler can technically get us on trespassing, and although I didn't actually assault him, he may be able to pin me for trying to… I would prefer to avoid the legal trouble, so fingers crossed for what she has to say tonight, I guess. She did say that Adler might be there at the station, so… Can you please stay home? I know you’re probably giving me that look right now, but hear me out. Knowing that he’s going to be there, with you in the same room, already has my Alpha irritated. I don’t want him around you. I don’t want him looking at you, and although I hope after this that he’s getting the help he needs to break that scent bond, I don’t know if he has. Luc and my dad both said that no matter what, I need to keep my cool and baby… I don’t know if I could if you were there. I wouldn’t be able to focus on anything other than the fact Adler was there with you and probably scenting you or thinking about you or… who fucking knows what.

I promise that I will tell you everything that happens. You can even wait in the car or something if you really want to, but… please? Let me just… do this by myself?

I love you,  
Your Alpha, Dean

 

Thursday  
May 29th, 2008

Dean,

I can not believe you didn’t tell your dad what happened immediately after it happened. I would be pissed at you, too, if I was him. And I’m hoping our future kids have your looks but my brains. And I’m not happy that I can’t be at the station and hear everything she has to say, but I understand, Dean. I understand you might not be able to control your cool if Adler does something untoward. So as much as I hate it, I will wait at the apartment while you and Luc go to down to the station. But I expect you to come here DIRECTLY after and let me know EVERYTHING that was said.

Love Always, **YOUR** mate, **YOUR** Omega,  
Cas

P.S. I love you Alpha.


	11. Chapter Ten

05/29 7:12PM Sam → Dean  
Dude. I am dying here. WHAT HAPPENED

05/29 7:18PM Dean → Sam  
Patience, is a virtue, Sammy.

05/29 7:19PM Sam → Dean  
I have been patient, Dean. I’ve been patient for three hours. You really want me to believe it took three hours?!

05/29 7:21PM Dean → Sam  
Yeah, actually, it did. We were there for quite a while and just got back to Cas’ place. Luc just left to get dinner. Do you wanna come over and we can tell you what happened?

05/29 7:21PM Sam → Dean  
I can’t, I have plans.

05/29 7:22PM Dean → Sam  
With who? The coolest people you know are all here!

05/29 7:23PM Sam → Dean  
Yeah, you wish. I’ll tell you about my plans AFTER YOU TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED.

05/29 7:23PM Dean → Sam  
Okay, okay. Chill, Samantha.

05/29 7:24PM Sam → Dean  
I hate you.

05/29 7:25PM Dean → Sam  
Well, in that case…

05/29 7:26PM Sam → Dean  
DEAN! I will tell Dad your meeting with the Sheriff was today and then he can call you.

05/29 7:26PM Dean → Sam  
Ouch. Low blow.

05/29 7:29PM Dean → Sam  
So, I was right about Adler being there, and I was instantly on guard so I am glad that Cas wasn’t there. Sheriff Mills had the three of us sit down in one of the interrogation rooms, which, I never want to be in one of those ever again. She did bring us coffee, though… It was actually damn good coffee, too. Not at all what you would’ve expected from a police station.

05/29 7:30PM Sam → Dean  
Dean, focus. I don’t care about the coffee.

05/29 7:31PM Dean → Sam  
You are really impatient tonight!!

05/29 7:32PM Sam → Dean  
I’m anxious about what’s going on with you and about my plans, okay? Can you just tell me, please?

05/29 7:35PM Dean → Sam  
Well, Sheriff Mills did some digging into what Luc and I told her about the Adler/Novak situation and actually got a warrant for both Castiel’s Dad’s and Adler’s bank records… She has apparently helped to crack down on human trafficking in Kansas and that’s what she was calling the situation with Cas. I never really thought of it as being that serious… I mean, I knew it was illegal…

05/29 7:38PM Dean → Sam  
Well, all of the blood ran out of Adler’s face and you couldn’t smell anything else in that room except for his fear and discomfort. She told us that she would be pursuing the claim against Cas. Adler said that it out of the statute of limitations since apparently, they’re fucking creeps and did this deal when Cas was 6 and the Novaks paid to have early gender assignment testing done, there was no way for her to get them on “selling an Omega as property”.

05/29 7:39PM Sam → Dean  
What the hell? Isn’t genetic testing illegal, too?!

05/29 7:40PM Dean → Sam  
No, apparently it’s not. It’s just taboo and ridiculously expensive and has a small chance of being inaccurate.

05/29 7:41PM Sam → Dean  
So, if she can’t get them on selling Cas, what happens now?

05/29 7:43PM Dean → Sam  
Well, that’s just it… She can. Apparently, the deal was still open until their mating actually happened. Although the money had been exchanged, Cas hadn’t been. So it was still an open arrangement and had been open for almost 12 years. That, coupled with the fact that Adler had scent bonded with him without Cas’ knowledge, means Adler could actually face a lot of jail time or at least, very hefty fines. So… she offered us all a deal.

05/29 7:43PM Sam → Dean  
What kind of deal!?

05/29 7:45PM Dean → Sam  
If Adler dropped the assault and trespassing charges on Luc and me, as well as cooperate with handing over the information she needs to build a case against Cas’ dad, she would make sure he doesn’t see the inside of a cell. Adler huffed and puffed for a few minutes, but actually agreed. He told her he would get her the records she needed and bring them by tomorrow, which, I mean… he will or he’s going to skip town.

05/29 7:12PM Sam → Dean  
Shit, so, what about you guys? You’re free to go then?

05/29 7:45PM Dean → Sam  
Not exactly. Legally speaking, yes, we are good to go. She said that Adler dropping charges will mean there’s no marks on our records at all. But, she said that she will not tolerate Alphas who fly off the handle and make stupid, rash decisions in her town and therefore, we have to answer to her. She wants us to do 100 hours of community service each and then told me that it would look awesome to the college since it won’t technically be tied to an arrest.

05/29 7:48PM Sam → Dean  
What did Cas say?

05/29 7:49PM Dean → Sam  
He said it serves us right for being rash and not listening to the smarter ones in the group, ie you and him.

05/29 7:50PM Sam → Dean  
He’s my favorite.

05/29 7:45PM Dean → Sam  
Yeah, he’s kinda my favorite, too.

05/29 7:50PM Sam → Dean  
And cue my gagging.

05/29 7:50PM Dean → Sam  
Ha, ha, ha.

05/29 7:51PM Dean → Sam  
So what are these plans you have?

05/29 7:55PM Sam → Dean  
Sorry, got to go!

05/29 7:56PM Sam → Dean  
She’s here :D

05/29 7:57PM Dean → Sam  
Wait, who’s there?!

05/29 7:58PM Dean → Sam  
Is it that Alpha chick?

05/29 7:59PM Dean → Sam  
SAMMY! WE HAD A DEAL

05/29 8:01PM Sam → Dean  
We didn’t shake on it. Don’t wait up :P

 

Monday  
June 2nd 2008

Dean,

Guess what, Ion asked me to prom this morning at breakfast. Can you believe it? The quarterback of the football team asked me to prom. I was shocked, but I think he was even more shocked when I told him no.

Do you want to go to prom? I mean, I know we can’t go together, but it's kinda like some senior rite of passage, right? Like a big thing. Just so you know... it would be okay with me if you wanted to go with your friends. I just… I don’t think I want to go. I don’t want to spend all night staring at you across the gymnasium, wishing I could talk with you, laugh with you, and dance with you. I would love to dance with you, I bet you are wonderful at it. That just doesn’t sound like a good time to me. But I would be totally fine if you wanted to go.

This day seems to be dragging by. Now that I think of it, the closer we get to graduation the slower the school day seems to go. Is it just me? Or do you think so, too? And for the love of God, why did I think AP Psych would be a good class to take first thing in the morning? I was practically falling asleep, so I thought writing to you would wake me up.

Oh, crap! The teacher just said pop quiz and I have not been paying attention at all. Wish me luck!

Love Always, **YOUR** mate, **YOUR** Omega,  
Cas

P.S. See you in Bio!

 

Monday,  
June 2nd, 2008

Hey Cas,

Baby, I am not in the least bit surprised Ion asked you out. Have you seen you?! You’re fucking gorgeous, you’re smart and funny, and as far as anyone knows… you’re single. Anyone would be stupid not to want an Omega like you at their side. However, they’re shit out of luck because you’re all mine. I wish I could’ve seen his face when you told him no, though… that is, if I could’ve held back from punching him from asking you out in the first place.

Prom… I kind of forgot all about it, honestly. Benny and Jo asked me if I was going. Benny is taking Andrea, and Jo is going with Charlie; they said I could go with them, there was room in their limo but… it would be wrong to not go with you. Like, yeah, we could mingle at the stupid punch bowl and act like we didn’t know each other but that would suck. Prom is just prom. I’m sure it will be the same old high school bullshit except everyone paid hundreds of dollars to participate in drama.

I am kind of bummed I am missing out on you in a suit though… Because, damn. Would you like to do something, just the two of us? We could have our own prom, without the drama. What do you think?

I hope you did well on your pop quiz… I already finished all of the problems we were supposed to be doing for Calc and I’m trying to look like I am still busy working away at them so that Mrs. Visyak doesn’t give me any more problems. Sorry lady, I was accepted to college already and there is nothing more you can teach me in calculus that I am going to care about. Ever.

Can you believe we actually graduate in 12 days? It still kind of blows my mind that we’re going to be free of this place in two weeks and out of this town in a few months. Victor asked me last night about when my last day was going to be… I told him I would let him know. We can’t move into the dorms until the last week of August but… what about giving our notice so we’re done the second week? I was thinking, maybe we could go camping? You, me, Sammy and Luc? Crowley could come, and Jessica, too. I think both Sammy and Luc would enjoy that… we won’t see them until Thanksgiving once the school year starts.

Let me know what you think and I’ll ask Luc if he can take a week off from work or something.

I’ve been caught. She just gave me two more pages of problems. Remind me again why I chose calculus instead of advanced algebra?!

I love you, my sexy, smart, and totally taken Omega,  
Yours, Dean

 

Bio is soooo boring today. Entertain me, Alpha. :)

_You and me baby ain’t nothin’ but mammals, so let’s do it like they do on the discovery channel!_

Dean quit dancing in your seat. You are gonna get us in trouble.

_You’re no fun… Now that song is stuck in my head._

Well, let’s get it out. Let’s talk about something else to get your mind off that stupid song.

_You can’t just ‘get’ The Bad Touch out of your head, Cas. It’s catchy for a reason. The only way to get that song out of your head is to fuck it out :)_

Well, I could most definitely get on board with that, Alpha.

_Oh, yeah? So, I can’t dance in my seat but you would be totally okay with me bending you over that lab table and seeing how wet and dripping I could make you with my tongue?_

Mm-hm, the thought of you claiming me here, in front of all our classmates and the teacher is kind of hot.

_They would all be jealous… The sounds you make when you’re writhing beneath me are perfect. I bet they would all sit here and watch. What do you think? Do you think they would like to see you fall further and further with each finger I add, stretching you and getting you ready to take my knot?_

Yes, and I would be so good for you, Alpha. Such a good little Omega. I would lean over that desk and push my ass up in the air, present for you like a proper Omega should for their Alpha. Would you like that Dean? Like me submitting so prettily for you while everyone watched you slip your thick cock into my dripping wet hole? Because you know I would be dripping wet by the time you worked me over with your fingers and tongue. It would coat my thighs and be puddling on the floor by the time you started to fuck me.

_Mmm, yeah, I would love that. You’re so pretty when you submit to me, baby. Such a perfect Omega, made just for me. You’re always so ready for me, too. So hot and tight, and the noise you make as soon as I slide into your for the first time, that punched out moan of pure pleasure? That’s the best fucking sound in the world. Love how you feel around me, the way you arch back into me, arch your back and meet me with every one of my thrusts like you can’t get enough of my cock inside of you. Which works out just fine, cause I can’t get enough of being inside of you._

I do love it, Alpha. I love that thick cock splitting me open. The only thing that feels better is your knot. God, I love your knot. I love how it swells up so thick and perfect when it locks in me. And mmm, I love when you come. I love the pulse of your cock as it spurts deep inside me. How warm and full it makes me feel. It’s pure ecstasy.

_Oh fuck, Cas. I love the way your body tightens around me, pulling me in, keeping us tied as much as my knot is. You’re so fucking perfect when yo-------_

**Cut the fucking shit you two. The entire back row reeks of horny fucking Alpha and slick. You got Meg Masters over there shifting in her seat!**

_Dude! Get your own notebook, Benny!_

**Dude! Get an EMPTY CLASSROOM**

_Hah. Oops. Meg is looking quite flushed, isn’t she? Do you think she knows it’s her friend she’s scenting right now? Okay, wait, now that’s less funny._

Thank God the bell is getting ready to ring. I’m going to have to change as soon as we get to the apartment… after you have had your way with me. ;)

_Get your ass into the Impala as soon as the bell rings._

Yes, Alpha.

 

06/05 3:20PM Dean → Luc  
Hey, did Cas bring up the camping trip idea to you??

06/05 3:25PM Luc → Dean  
Yeah, he did. I think it’s a great idea. Crowley and I both have vacation time. So just let me know soon when you want to do it and we will both put in for it.

06/05 3:26PM Dean → Luc  
Okay, awesome! I was thinking the 10th to 16th??

06/05 3:28PM Luc → Dean  
Sounds good. I will tell Crowley and we will put in for it now.

06/05 3:29PM Dean → Luc  
Awesome!!!

 

06/05 3:30PM Dean → Sam  
Hey, so Luc and Crowley are in on the camping idea… you wanna pitch the idea to Jess or is it too soon?

06/05 3:39PM Sam → Dean  
Oh God, Dean. I don’t know… We’ve only been officially dating for a WEEK. Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s too soon!

06/05 3:40PM Dean → Sam  
You’ve officially wanted to bone her for at least two weeks.

06/05 3:41PM Sam → Dean  
I’m blocking your number.

 

06/05 3:42PM Dean → Cas  
Hey baby :) Lucifer and Crowley are a go for camping. Sam will go too. Not sure about Jess. Apparently including them when they’ve ‘only been official for a week’ is shocking. Except, have you SEEN the way that girl looks at my brother? Please. She’s totally going camping with us.

06/05 3:43PM Cas → Dean  
That’s awesome Luc and Crowley are coming! Oh, yeah. I have no doubt Jess will come too. You should see the way they stare longingly at each other in poetry club.

06/05 3:44PM Dean → Cas  
Oh, God. I can only imagine! It’s probably disgusting :P

06/05 3:46PM Cas → Dean  
I think it’s rather adorable. He looks at her like you look at me.

06/05 3:49PM Dean → Cas  
I do not look at you like that! My looks are not… lovey dovey mushy crap. They’re 100% sexy, all the time.

06/05 3:50PM Cas → Dean  
Ask anyone we know, Alpha. Your looks put lovey dovey to shame.

06/05 3:51PM Dean → Cas  
Oh, God. I am a girl.

06/05 3:52PM Cas → Dean  
No, you're my big strong Alpha. Who happens to be more chick flicky than he likes to admit. ;)

06/05 3:53PM Dean → Cas  
-_-

06/05 3:53PM Dean → Cas  
I’m worse than Sam, aren’t I?

06/05 3:54PM Cas → Dean  
About the same. :P

06/05 3:55PM Dean → Cas  
I’m doomed.

 

Monday,  
June 9th, 2008

Hey Dean,

 

Things we still need to do for College.

Pack clothes and other belongings we are taking. Make a copy of our Mating Document the nurse gave us to give to administration. Print off campus map and our class schedules (when available). All documentations, (birth certificate, vaccination records, copy of diploma, transcripts.) Check Amazon and Campus bookstore for cheaper used course textbooks. Look the town up online, find closest restaurants, entertainment, etc. _~~Have sex in every room in the apartment so Luc doesn’t forget us.~~_

Is there anything else you can think of Dean? If so, just add it to the list. I left some room for you. I guess I should pay attention to my Psych teacher now and stop planning for college.

Love Always, **YOUR** mate, **YOUR** Omega,  
Cas

P.S. See you in Bio!

 

_Hey, hot stuff! I added something to the list… you pretty much had everything else already covered._

NO, Dean! We will not be doing that. I marked it out. But we can give my bedroom a final farewell. :)

 _You’re such a party pooper, Cas! Granted, we’ve pretty much already HAD sex in every room of the house… Except for Luc’s room… Cas. PLEASE._ OMG! if we had sex in there pretty sure Luc would flip out and rip your knot off. But if you're willing to risk that…

_Oh, my god. NO. ABORT MISSION!!! I am totally fine with every other room other than his. I’ve suddenly found that idea to be completely, totally, awful._

That’s what I thought.

_You’re always right. How are you always right?!_

Because I’m an Omega baby, and we are the brains of the relationship. ;)

_Yeah, yeah, yeah… though I can’t really argue with that. I suppose that’s why I keep you around. You keep me from doing stupid shit._

That and my hot ass. Don’t forget my hot ass, Alpha.

_Baby, I could NEVER forget about your hot ass. However, if we continue to talk about your sexy, firm, perfect ass, Benny is going to kill us again and refuse to come to Bio for the rest of the year. Though… since we only have three days left…_

Three days. OMG! I can’t believe it! It’s so surreal! Too bad we can’t go to prom. That’s all everyone has talked about today.

_I know baby, I can’t either. And yeah, Benny and Jo were talking about it all lunch… but… I have a surprise for you on Friday :) Remember where we went for our anniversary? I made us dinner reservations there and I need you to wear a suit._

Really?! I loved that place. Do you have anything else planned, Alpha?

_You are just going to have to wait and find out!! But… make sure you wear your dancing shoes._

I will let you knot my mouth if you tell me what you have in store.

_... So not only do you know everything, but you drive a hard bargain, too. You really don’t play fair you know. Compromise? I tell you SOME of it and I still get to have my way with your hot, tight mouth?_

I like surprises, so I will just wait but you can still knot my mouth tonight.

_Did I ever tell you that you were my favorite Omega in the whole wide world? I can tell you that this entire idea stemmed from you being kind of bummed about missing prom… I know you said you didn’t care, but I may be able to read you like a book. Just a little. Your scent gets a little sour every time you talk about it. I enlisted Lucifer’s help, too, so he has an outfit for you and we will be coming back early in the morning for graduation on Saturday._

I can’t wait! :D

_I love you._

Love you too.

 

06/10 6:01PM Luc → Cas  
Hey Cas, I know you're over at Dean’s having dinner with his family, but I wanted to let you know they arrested dad this morning.

06/10 6:05PM Cas → Luc  
Good

06/10 6:10PM Luc → Cas  
I also wanted to let you know mom’s here at the apartment and she would like to see you.

06/10 6:11PM Cas → Luc  
NO

06/10 6:15PM Luc → Cas  
Cas, she wants to make amends.

06/10 6:16PM Cas → Luc  
Amends? You’re fucking kidding me, right?

06/10 6:18PM Luc → Cas  
I’m not, she seems sincere.

06/10 6:20PM Cas → Luc  
Years Luc! Years she watched dad beat the shit out of me then asked me ‘when will I learn’, like it was my fault. Amends! That’s rich!

06/10 6:21PM Luc → Cas  
Castiel, we all make mistakes. Look how long it took me to stand up to him. Imagine if Mom had tried. I know you saw the bruises she had to conceal with makeup, and that was without her ever talking back to him, without standing up for herself or for you.

06/10 6:23PM Luc → Cas  
You forgave me.

06/10 6:25PM Cas → Luc  
You're my brother.

06/10 6:25PM Luc → Cas  
And she is your mother.

06/10 6:26PM Luc → Cas  
Just, Cas, can you come and at least listen to what she has to say? I promise you, if at any point you get uncomfortable and you don’t want to hear anymore I will make her leave.

06/10 6:38PM Cas → Luc  
You promise?

06/10 6:39PM Luc → Cas  
I swear it.

06/10 6:41PM Cas → Luc  
I’m bringing Dean.

06/10 6:42PM Luc → Cas  
Good, Mom would like to officially meet your mate.

06/10 6:45PM Cas → Luc  
We just finished dinner. We will be there in about twenty minutes.

06/10 6:46PM Luc → Cas  
Tell Dean to drive carefully. See you guys soon.

 

Wednesday,  
June 11th, 2008

WOOO HAPPY LAST DAY OF SCHOOL BABY!

Since tomorrow is Senior Skip Day, when 3:50 rolls around, we are so blowing this popsicle stand and only coming back to get our diploma!! I am so ready to walk off that stage and be a free Alpha! I swear to God, Cas, I might just kiss you in front of everyone. What are they gonna do? By the end of August, we won’t even be in this town anymore!

I am so ready for that. I am so ready to get out of this place and be able to kiss you and hold your hand and fucking talk to you whenever I damn well please! We’re going to be college students, baby! I don’t think I have ever been this excited about something school related in… well, ever!!

How is your last day going? Did you end up getting your yearbook back from Meg? I saw her writing a freaking page in the back at lunch today. I swear, she may say she just likes pulling your leg, but I think she’s jealous that you’re already taken. I know, I know, you’ve been friends ‘forever’, but still. She totally wanted your babies. Too bad, so sad.

God, I am in the weirdest mood right now.

How are you? You were really quiet this morning. Last night you didn’t really want to talk about it but, are you okay? Your mom didn’t seem too bad, I was honestly expecting worse. I was not prepared to walk into your apartment and be hit with the smell of her anxiety and guilt… I’m glad she didn’t mind I was there, though. I didn't want to push but… what happened when Luc and I left the kitchen to give you guys some privacy? Whatever you want to do, baby, I am here for you, okay? I will support you 100%.

I had a voicemail from Sheriff Mills this morning. She called during first period. Since your dad was arrested, that means Adler has officially filed what he needed to to drop the charges against Lucifer and me, so we’re free men in that respect. She also told me that she knows when graduation is and she expects me to be at the station bright and early on Monday morning (Luc has already talked to her, I guess and figured out a schedule) so she can work on where and when I am going to do some community service for her. She said that she wants me to enjoy my summer, but she still expects me to help her out.

I don’t really mind, though. It will keep me busy, and it might actually be fun! Sam did a Community Service program last summer for a few credits and ended up working at the animal shelter a lot. Do you think I could tell her I am going to school for veterinary science and that she’ll let me pick up some hours there?

I hope you’re having a good day, baby. I’ll see you in bio :)

Love you,

Your Alpha, Dean

 

**PARTY AT MY PLACE, SATURDAY NIGHT AFTER GRADUAAAAAAAAAATION**

_Benny, get your own damn notebook!!!!!!_

**Cas, your mate is officially uninvited for being rude. Here I am, just being polite and inviting ya’ll to my party, and Dean wants to be a grump. So, Cas, come hang out. Leave Mr. Grumpy Gills at home.**

You got it, Benny. I will be there and Dean can spend the evening by himself, crying alone in his bedroom, thinking about his behavior and how he needs to learn how to respect his elders (Sorry, Dean. Benny IS older than you).

_I am wounded, Cas. You’re supposed to be on my side!_

Party, Dean. Awesome party trumps being on your side. Sorry, that's just how it is. :P

_Well, after I spend the night crying and thinking about my ‘bad behavior’ while you party and then come trying to crawl into my bed, we will just have to see who wins that night, won’t we? I’m thinking that me on the bed will trump you on the couch._

Dean, we both know that is an empty threat. As soon as I stripped down to my panties, no way you would make me sleep on the couch. You can’t keep your hands off me. Me in panties trumps EVERYTHING!

_BENNY I HATE YOU_

**Hahahaha sorry, brotha.**

_That’s not true, I have restraint! Or, at least, I can find some. I could easily resist you in your panties, except maybe the red ones. I just don’t HAVE to, so why would I?!_

Dean, you have as much restraint as I do in heat. This isn’t a battle you would win so give up, Winchester.

_I would glare at you but I am in a very important lecture right now about the properties of… Well, I would know what the lecture was about if you and Benny weren’t distracting me so much!!! Parties and panties? You guys are wild animals._

Change of subject then? I read your letter at lunch. And to answer your question I’m indifferent… Does that make sense? She apologized, a lot, and she had her reasons as to why she never stood up for me. But, I just… if my kids were hurting I would do anything for them, no matter what. I did give her my number and told her I would see her again before we left for college… but I think it will be a while before I’m ready to forgive her.

_I can understand that… There is a lot of history there, a lot of pain. And baby, you may never forgive her for not stepping in or protecting you, and that’s okay. Who knows what will end up coming out of your relationship, if you end up having one. Whatever it is, it will be on your terms and what you’re comfortable with. It will be interesting to see what happens now that your dad is out of the picture… I mean, is she going to know how to function after so many years under her Alpha’s thumb? I guess that’s not really something you have to worry about. Is she-- is she coming to graduation?_

I think she will do better now that Dad is in jail. She told me he deserved to be in there. She also told me that she never knew the deal Dad had made with Adler, and I believe her. I invited her to graduation and she looked so shocked. She said she had been sure that I wouldn’t want her there, but she wanted to come and see her son graduate. She asked me about you... Asked if you made me happy. I told her more than anything and she said that was good. I deserve it after all the shit I went through growing up.

_All I want is to make you happy, Cas. I want you to be happy. I’m sure she was shocked that you invited her, but I think if you hadn’t, you would’ve regretted it. If you want to, you can extend the invite for our party at my house, but only if you want to. If you don’t, we will just make sure to say hi to her before we leave and thank her for coming._

Thank you for offering, but I don’t think I’m ready for that big of a step yet. Her coming to graduation is good enough. I need to take it slow, baby steps. Seeing her hurts. It brings back bad memories, and I need to find a way to overcome that before I can have any kind of relationship with her. Luc mentioned therapy… but I don’t know.

_Okay, baby. Anything you want, you know that. As for Luc’s suggestion… what do you really think? You went through a lot of shit, Cas… Recently, we found out even more shit that you hadn’t known growing up between Adler and your dad, and although you’re out of the situation and you’re safe? That’s quite a lot to take in, you know? If you wanted to go, I think it would be a good idea._

If I did, would you go with me?

_Yeah, of course. If you wanted me there, or hell, even just to sit out in the waiting room. Cas, you never have to face anything alone again._

Thank you, Dean. I love you so much. I really did get lucky to mate with such a wonderful Alpha.

_Do you love me enough to let me go to Benny’s party?_

_I’m kidding. Mostly. I love you, too, Cas. I fully believe that I am the lucky one out of the two of us. You’re pretty amazing, if you hadn’t noticed._

Of course you can go to Benny’s party. If you're not there who else would I get to make out with me in Benny’s room?

_So we can’t make your brother’s room reek of sex, but we can totally fuck in Benny’s room?_

**NO. NO NO NO. THERE WILL BE NO FUCKING IN BENNY’S ROOM.**

_My Omega said I can come to your party. What do people DO at parties, Benny? They find an empty room and th----_

**I’m sorry, party is officially cancelled. My mom is going to be home. You losers need to find a different party.**

_He really does love us, Cas._

Compromise, what if we only go to second base in your room?

**I don’t know why I am friends with you two. For the record? Andrea and I will be occupying my bedroom, thank you very much.**

_Okay, okay. We will just use your parents’ room :D_

 

Friday,  
June 13th, 2008

My dearest Dean,

I could not have asked for a better night. No prom could have beat the night you planned for me, and all because you wanted to make me happy. I’m sitting here watching you sleep in our room at the Hilton Garden as I write this. I can’t believe you rented us a suite here, it must have costed you a fortune. I’m still in awe of the plans you made just to make this night special. No matter what you say you truly are a romantic man, Dean Winchester.

Dinner was wonderful and seeing you all dressed up in and suit and tie, just wow! I’m one lucky Omega to get to come home to you for the rest of my life. I would have been happy with just dinner and a movie.

I was so shocked when you pulled up in front of the hotel and I must have looked it by the way you smiled and laughed softly at me. When we went to get the room key, you told the receptionist you had a room reservation for Mr. & Mr. Winchester and smiled at me I thought my heart would burst from elation. I had never been so happy in my life!

I still can’t believe you insisted on carrying me across the threshold... but I couldn’t tell you ‘no’, not when you gave me that smile. One look around the room took my breath away... there were dozens and dozens of calla lilies in vases on almost every table in the room, not to mention the rose petals scattered on the bed. How did you even know calla lilies were my favorite? I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone that.

Then, as if it were even possible, the night continued to get better as it went, especially when you led me onto the balcony to dance under the stars. I will never forget the very first song we danced to. Fade Into You, is now our song Dean, and I want it to be the very first song we dance to when we get married.

We danced and laughed for hours, but it only seemed like moments.

When you wrapped your arms around me and led me inside after the last song on your playlist had ended, I was sure you were ready for bed. But no, you went over to the fireplace and lit it before sitting down on the plush rug in front of it. For hours you took me apart and pieced me back together, you made my body and soul sing. When you made love to me it was like coming together for the first time, it’s like that every time with you. I’ve never felt so loved in my life.

Once we were untied you continued to amaze me. The way you led me to the bathroom, filled the large jetted tub and pulled me in with you, the way you washed my hair and body with such devotion as you told me how good I was, how lucky you were, how much you loved me... And the way you held me and talked about our future until the water chilled and we had to get out, makes me so incredibly glad I have you, Dean.

But what came next, that will always be the highlight of the night for me.

The way you pulled something out of your duffel and turned to me with a shy smile before you kneeled in front of me and opened the small black velvet box you had clutched in your hand, revealing the most beautiful silver band I had even seen, will forever be ingrained in my memory. I will never forget what you said to me in that moment.

 

“You make me happier

Than I ever thought I could be.

And if you let me,

I will spend the rest of my life,

Trying to make you feel

The same way.”

Of course I said yes, I don’t know why you ever doubted I would.

It’s nearing midnight now and we have a big day tomorrow with graduation and all. I just had to get this all down… I want to remember this, the way I felt, everything that happened, for the rest of my life. Now, I’m going to curl up in bed and cuddle with you. I love you so much, Alpha.

Love Always, **YOUR** mate, **YOUR** Omega,  
Cas

P.S. I look forward to spending the rest of my life making you happy, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for loving this as much as we do!!! We _do_ have more planned for this verse, and if you have any ideas for timestamps, shoot them our way! We had such a blast with this fic!

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback fuels the fire <3

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Graphics for My Baby Wrote Me A Letter](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11270529) by [lotrspnfangirlgraphics (lotrspnfangirl)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lotrspnfangirl/pseuds/lotrspnfangirlgraphics)




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